After dad passed away, I had a serious nervous breakdown (I will never use that term lightly or in a joking fashion again in my lifetime) which would see periods of extreme anxiety, etc (my hands looked like a tree being blown around in a hurricane.... it was bad). After losing several pounds of weight in a matter of days and being unable to function even a little bit, I finally saw my doctor who put me on an anti-anxiety med to help me cope with everything I was(n't) dealing with. I took the meds as scheduled for a couple days but all I did was sleep and my husband commented that my eyes looked like two pee holes in the snow type of thing so I stopped taking them unless I absolutely could not get by without them. Went back to the doctor and the only way he would approve me returning to work was if I continued those meds (but taking only 1/4 dose of what he originally prescribed). I don't take them often (not like I'm supposed to) and manage most days without them but for the past several days I have been experiencing more anxiety than I've had in a while and I'm not sure the source of it (other than coming down off of extreme stress since last summer). I hate this feeling and really don't want to depend on meds to get me through it but the past couple days have been challenging to me. If you think of it, would you keep this in your prayers. I just want to be myself again
So sorry you are going through this! I will be praying for you! I understand wanting to just be yourself again, it will happen, just give it time. God will get you through this.
Sweetie, maybe you should ask the doctor for a different type of anxiety med, explaining to him what this does to you. It should help you function better, not twist you sideways. There was a period of time where A LOT happened in a few months' time, and I believe that I had some mildish form of PTSD for about ten years, and now I'm over it. I told my doctor about it back then and he prescribed something that was supposed to help. Yeah, right. But I was afraid not to be on it. I went back to work thinking I was going to be fine, I thought I was ready but I wasn't. I retired at the end of that year, and that was the last day I took that med and the last day I needed it. I still wasn't "fine" but I operated "normally" (like Erma Bombeck said, "Normal's just a setting on your dryer") for about ten years before I was really "fine". You've had a lot to deal with, and you still have a lot to deal with. Be kind to yourself. We're pulling for you, and praying with you!
I knew it was going to be rough after he passed because I didn't deal with a lot of it as it was happening but I never dreamed it was going to be as intense as it was. Not all days are as bad as they used to be but there are some doozy days (and Thursdays tend to be those days). One step at a time, one day at a time.... it's all I can do at this point. I want to go back to work, I need to go back to work but I'm not sure that I'm ready mentally for full time work yet. God knows all the details and He has a plan, just have to wait and see what He has planned for me.
Sending up prayers for you.. I am so sorry you are having such a hard time.. Sending you BIG (((hugs))).. Hang in there!! We are all pulling for you..
