I'm especially interested in answers from us that have children 5 years and up, but I welcome all posts! I really would like to know.... At what age do you expect your child to "go take a shower" (on his/her own without parental help)? At what age would you expect your child to make their bed? And at what age should kids be expected to go brush their teeth on their own? I have all these questions because I am trying to get my ds to learn these behaviors now. Thanks for amusing me!
My oldest is 5 and 1/2, so I just barely fit the bill Brush their teeth alone w/o supervision by around 4 and 1/2 if they are conscientious, by 5 if they tend to round corners. Hannah 5 and 1/2 and Sarah Grace 4 both learned to make their beds each morning by 3 and 1/2, but it didn't really start looking decent until around 4 and 1/2. By age 5 Hannah's bed looked really smooth and nice. Thought I'd mention that we put some time into training them in these things, especially making the bed and other chores. Hope this helps!
Well...I think my ds started taking showers by himself when he was in first grade...although at times I would still help him (he did not like being an independent child!) My dd was between k-garten and 1st grade (and she is very independent!) As far as making beds...I think it was in k-garten that I had them making their beds, but they were messy! But I would NEVER tell them that!
Oh...the teeth...my kids could brush their own teeth pretty early, but never did a very good job. So, I always did their teeth until like 1st grade! I just couldn't stand the thought of their teeth not being brushed well! They probably still don't do a very good job sometimes, but I am over it now...I let the dentist get on them!
Missy, my dentist said to help with the brushing until you see for yourself they do a good enough job. That means brushing long enough, getting all the teeth and brushing hard enough. As for showers, I'm sure Jeanne will need help for awhile yet. She'll be 6 next month, and I plan to let her wash as I watch so I can see how good a job she does. I'm thinking Kevin was about 8 or so when he started bathing by himself, but I still was upstairs while he did so. I'd do something while I waited for him to be done. Her bed is a full size, with one side against the wall, so making her bed is just pulling the covers and spread over to the open side. You and I have little ones the same age, right? I'd expect by 7 or 8 they'll be able to do all this alone.
our bath tub is "broken" .......... it had cracks and upon removing it my husband found out that the high voltage electrical lines were running under it:shock: so until we get an electrician in here to re route it its showers all around.-------my youngest is 5. But I know they miss bath time, so do I.
The 3 of mine that are 5 and up can make their own beds (although my 5 & 8 year olds are still messy ) and shower/bathe on their own. I help with the hair washing occasionally, but not always. As far as teeth brushing, our pediatric dentist said they need help until age 6. I let my 5yo do it herself, but when I can tell, she hasn't been doing a good job, I give them a good scrubbing! I just bought some of the Listerine Agent Cool Mouth, and it's great! It's on the expensive side, but it'll be worth it, if it gets them brushing good.
Thanks for all the responses! Pam... I, too, bought that Agent Cool! My dd (9) is using it, but ds (5) said no way! Becky...Preston is 5 too. He'll be 6 in late December. I ask these questions because sometimes my own mother questions my behavior. I expect more of my kids than my mom expected of me at that age. My dd makes her bed and has been doing it since I think she was 5/6. It has taken her about 3 years to learn to make it well like I do. She also now changes her own sheets once a week. I'm so proud of that! Ds is learning to make his bed. He started last year. It's messy, but I keep encouraging him. He says it's too hard! DD was always a pain about teeth brushing when she was little. I literally had to sit on her at one point to get her to let me brush her teeth (about 2 or so). Ds was the same way. My daughter got better quickly. She loved going to the dentist and brushes fairly well. I do check her teeth still some and she uses that Agent Cool mouthwash. DS is awful. He hates everything about teeth cleaning. He is the worst child at the dentist as well. I still have to put his toothpaste on the brush and help him brush. He'll brush some, but I always doubt he did well enough. My dd started taking her showers without help around 6 I think (K age). So, I have been getting Preston to do that now. He does well, but it took some major encouragment to get him to do it. He is not an independent child (TOTAL opposite). For the most part, I am extremely pleased with our progress. I think Preston and Avery are learning so much. I guess I am surprised that so many people are doing the same things I do. My mother did everything for us for so long. I don't think I ever washed clothes until I was probably 16 or older. I hardly ever cooked anything. Etc! She did most everything herself. My kids are already learning to cook. They do laundry, dust, vacuum, mop, sweep, fold clothes, etc. I love knowing that they will know how to do all this stuff well when they get on their own! I'll just tell my mom that almost everyone is teaching their kids these responsibilities as well.
Pam: I bought some of that too and my dd's love it and it helps with brushing which is wonderful. I am like you what ever works. I think they could be alot on there own but don't except alot. Like making the bed. Let them do it there way and tell them what a great job and go from there. Showers, well thats hard it depends on if they wash there hair and everything else good. Around 8 or so. It gets easier.
Personally the got take a shower, we just started this year with ds9 ( at 8 yrs) telling him shower time, I give the kids a choice when I can time wise, shower or tub. Shower is faster and desert does nto come untill after shower , my way of getting it done. Making bed, he still has not done, he tries, but its hard to reach the corners, so remaking it in the morning he learned last year. I figure at ten they can do it on thier own if we do the three steps of I do you watch, you and I do together and then you do I watch, lets see what else? Basically a kid will do whatever you expect them to do if you teach them to do it and let them know they have no choice. My ds 15 fought having to clean, but does an awesome job after 14 yrs of age. He now does laundry all but folding other peoples clothes, and folding his own. ds 9 puts his in drawers, not always where I want them mind you so we are working on that. dd rearanged her own dresser this summer and has it organized better than I did! she is 12 I am still trying to get kids to keep rooms picked up though so what age do they finally get that? College? lol
I am very anal about drawers and closets, so I have had to learn to look the other way when my kids put their clothes away. For my sanity, I have to let them do it. There is not enough time for me to keep up with everyones else's things. I really just try not to look. I'm still working on keeping the room clean thing. How many times do have have to say "If you put things away when you are done, you wouldn't have this mess," for them to get it? My ds(10) is pretty good about his room, but my girls...ugh! I know part of it is having 3 in one room. They all blame the mess on the other ones!. Of course, I make them all work at cleaning up, but they sure can complain about. That's when I tell them, " If you put things away...."
Oh yes, Missy, My kids do all that stuff too! I think it gives them a "leg up" in life to already know how to do those things by the time they get to an age where they HAVE to do them on their own! When parents do everything, then when the child goes out on their own, they have to start learning stuff like laundry, doing dishes and cooking, (and BRUSHING TEETH!) that should have been learned LONG before! By the time our kids are out on their own, these things will be second nature, so they can do better in their jobs or schooling or whatever! Although, my dd did not do well with washing her own hair until she was 8.
Pam, my dd is the worst! She is trying to keep hers clean for a week to earn a watch she wanted! That would be an accomplishment! When my ds15 was young he learned to put things away , I bought boxes to keep things seperate, etc just like my preschool class did. Well then ds 9 came along and two in a room was okay for like three years, then suddenly when ds15 was 7 or 8 they forgot what to do to clean Lol, I was trying to do it all at that point and did okay keeping things to the point of "cleaner than the other friends who home school" remarks Lol. So what about a year ago I had a perfect house, then I was doing everything to show kids how I want it. Ds 15 caught on and started helping to keep it up! I had a system of while they ate breakfast I scanned thier rooms and fixed by picking up thier droppings ( toys that didnt make it back night before dirty clothes etc) made beds and ran vaccume. Then I set out thier school work and did rest of the house the same. then we started with prayer, and bible time, and all worked okay, but when something happned and I got injured things would fall apart and no one seems to get that when mom has one less limb , foot or arm, she can NOT do everythign! lol, So even when things seem like they are connecting andworking, re clothes in drawers or getting the hang of picking up toys we have to keep on them about it. I was anal about drawers untill I realized it wont get in there if it does not get put away. sometimes we have to give in in some areas to get the main thing corrected. they are off my kitchen table and in the drawes now! PTL! My kids have a hard time remembering that you brush after EVERY meal not just dinner , and before you go out you run a tooth brush on your teeth with water to keep them fresh !
I like really neat drawers too. However, my children are pretty bad about putting things away neatly or keeping it looking neat. So, periodically, I have a drawer cleaning party, lol! You ladies are right though. You can't worry about everything!
Tanner is 4 and brushes his teeth on his own. However, I have to count because he thinks 5 seconds is enough. I don't even make our beds, so I'm not sure. I do straighten the bed though everyday, but I don't officially make it. I would say by 6, but I don't have one that old yet. I do know Tanner is capable of making the bed to an extent now though. What that tells you, I'm not sure. A shower...Tanner hates the shower. He takes baths still. I do let him alone to play though then I wash him up before he gets out. He can wash himself, but he needs help in the tough areas. So, in all, Tanner is 4, and is capable of doing all these things, he just needs some assistance still.
