Ok, i'm not really sure what to do. This is our first year homeschooling. I have 3 daughters, 5, 8 and 10. The main reason we began this journey is because of my dd10. It's a whole LONG story, so to shorten it up she has major anxiety issues over going to school, it's been going on since K and she suffered through her years at PS. (Please don't think poorly of me, I really had no idea about homeschooling until 1 day the idea just came to me) Anyway we are signed up for a co op with our homeschool group. DD is already friendly with one of the girls and she knows she is going but she still doesn't want to go. I think to her it's a "school" situation. But I know that it is different. It will be every friday and they are doing French, PE, Art and Music. I think it will be fun and they will get to make some good friends and hang out every friday. I'm also signing them up for girlscouts and at first she was opposed to that but she found out that this same girl that she became friends with does girl scouts and guess what, her Mom runs that group. So she's ok with that because, I guess, it know becomes her "comfort Zone" I guess my question is at what point do I try to get her to face her fears? Or is this situation so serious that I should not push her? Will it be harmful if I never push her? Will it be harmful if I push her? I REALLY don't know what to do. I was always a shy child and wasn't popular in school, I hated school myself, but I wasn't afraid to be there and didn't have anxiety in new situations. I didn't like them, but I could deal. Does anyone have any advice for me? It will be much appreciated!!
IMO you need to gently make her try new things. My son has anxiety issues too. He wouldn't go outside at all because he has issues with the weather. He wouldn't learn to ride a bike, play sports nothing. In PS during recess he would cry. I Pushed him but slowly to learn to ride his bike and to go outside and make friends.When it seemed like it was too much i backed off. Even still we have good days and bad days, but most of the time I can't keep him inside. If he doesn't want to go out I never make him but I certainly offer up the suggestion if it's a nice day. He still has son anxiety issues ( he is afraid of dark clouds and storms) but nothing like before. Coops are iffy in my experience. They are hit or miss, but I'm sure she'll be fine. She has already made a friend. I don't know about girls but with my son all he needed was one friend that knew other boys and then the whole group was on board. Now he has 15or 20 neighborhood friends that will not stop knocking at my door. And I agree with Jackie- Maybe you could help out or sit in at the first meeting.
It was hard for my dd's to change with our new school when we went from traditional ps to a charter school that basically lets us loose to do our own thing. It took my older one who is more reserved a little more time than my younger dd but now she loves going to the classes and hanging out with her friends when we go to the school. I kind of just let her go at her own pace and let her figure out that they weren't going to bite. It was just a case of being the new kid at the school.
Jackie, I didn't think of that, maybe I could sit on the first day. All of the parents are actually participating, so maybe just for that first day I could assist with something in her class. Cricutmaster, thank you, it's nice to hear from someone that goes through the same things. My dd is not as bad as not wanting to go outside, but but she won't play sports, she just learned to ride her bike without training wheels last month, I could not get her to even consider it before now. And even when she just learned I kind of "forced" her into trying, and once she somewhat had it she was willing to keep trying. I'm hoping this co op will be a nice one, not too strict, she certainly doesn't need that. She does have that one friend and that's all she needs, she not a "big group of kids" type. rhi: from someone knowing what changing schools is like, I know that that's always tough. But for my dd, THAT would be torture. My poor dd actually had anxiety going into school every morning from the first day of school until the last day of the school year. This went on from K through 3rd grade and we never changed schools. Wow, I think about that now and think "that's got to do some damage" So, this co op will only be on friday mornings from 8:45am until 12:30pm, I guess we will give it a try, my younger dds I know will enjoy it too. I'm sure once she gets going she'll be ok too. I hope....... I just know I don't want to shelter her from everything and her anxiety gets worse. :shock:
