Baby Storm's Mom Speaks Out (Re: secret gender story)...

The mother of the baby whose gender is presently a secret has written a piece explaining her decision, answering some misconceptions, and detailing how it all came about.

It's interesting reading, however you feel about the issue!

Baby Storm's Mom on Gender, Parenting, and the Media

I was struck by how much Kathy Witterick sounds just like any of us here, when it comes to describing the typical day of a homeschooling mom!

Moral of the story - whatever you do in your personal life, don't let a reporter turn it into an article.

 

Thanks Meg. I read an article about her family early this week and was thinking that there was a lot of fuss over nothing in all this. They seemed like decent people doing something a little different. Not something I'd do but the controversy seems to be waaaay over the top.

 

definitely agree that keeping private matters out of the newspaper would have shown wisdom.


I'm still wondering how they decide what gender clothes to put on the baby who doesn't have a clothing preference.

 

Not all baby clothes are gendered... I'm assuming they buy cute little onesies in prints and bright solid colours, and use hand-me-downs from the older children.

My son wore almost all my daughter's old baby clothes, being second born. I didn't figure he'd care, and since my personal taste never ran to pink ruffles and bows anyway, it didn't seem to confuse anyone we met.

 

My daughter was dressed in neutral clothing a LOT as a baby. No big deal or hard decision.

 

Well, you make it sound so obvious. :lol: I avoided neutral clothes like the plague.

 

You don't like the colour green? :lol:



IMO, the only thing identifying this child as a "girl" is the little red barrette in her hair. I'd have happily put that onesie on either my baby girl or boy.

I picked up lots of adorable cotton onesies, long and short sleeved, at a farmer's market. They were in all kinds of bright colours with nifty block print flowers, veggies and animals on the front. Pair them up with a tiny pair of pants, toss on a floppy sunhat, and we were good to go.

Putting barrettes in my children's hair just made me too nervous that they'd pull them out and stick it in their mouths and choke on it. Same for bows and buttons and ties and fussy clothes.

It wasn't until my son caught up with his big sister in height and weight (at about ages 3 and 5) that I finally stopped buying clothes for her with an eye to passing them down to him. Funny thing though... she still prefers her basic jeans and tees! Even if they're all fitted and "girly" now.

 

My oldest was completely bald until 2. I had her in full princessy fluffy ruffly pink attire, and people still told me what a handsome boy I had. My dh had ds in sports stuff from the earliest moment because he was thrilled to have another guy in the house. (he's my second child) Handing down clothes didn't work between the first 2 because the sizes and seasons didn't work. I've only had girls since then so we have plenty of pink and purple. My oldest, almost 9, is obsessed with green so we are having our green moment now.

 

Too funny about the princess dresses! :lol:

I never realized there was a big difference between boys and girls basic blue jeans until the day my son (5 years old) accidentally put on a pair of his 7yo sister's jeans out of the wash. He walked into the room and I thought, "My goodness his legs look so... long and shapely. Does he have hips?" Then I realized he was wearing the wrong jeans!

It's really shocking how much womanly shape they put into little girl's clothes, even the "plain, high waisted" stuff! The designers are giving them a look that doesn't exist yet on their bodies, with just a bit of tucking here and there.

 

That is so true!! I have most of my girls' clothing made because the styles are way too old for little girls. And dd1 is quite tall and wears a size larger than her age. It's terrible how street-walkerish so much of the clothing is.

(And let me clarify that I'm not on the extreme side of the modesty debate.)

 

DH and I are very particular on what our DD wears. She is only 3 now, but it seems like things are getting more and more "sexy" even for girls of this young age! I am not super conservative either, but that doesn't mean that I want her our in a belly shirt, with short shorts, or any number of the things they have for young girls these days.

One funny thing from this morning, is that I had put DD in pants. She cried until I put her in a skirt, because she said she wasn't a princess unless she was in a skirt or dress. :lol:

 

you know, boys used to wear pink and girls blue up to a certain stage in history... my hubby was telling me this a while back, colors mean nothing lol.

 

Oh and back in the early years of our NA countries the boys wore gowns until they were around 5 years of age too, no one made a deal about it, they were then given short pants as they called them.

 

When I was pregnant with Marion we were told he was a girl, when he arrived he was a boy. He wore layettes with roseds on them and pink onsies for the first 3 months of his life. I figured it was November through Frebruary, cold winter months, he wasn't going out where anyone could see him anyway.

 

Oh my yes, I agree. I watched a 4 year old in my home, and she would wear VERY short shorts (like, "Hi honey roll down your shorts I can see your booty cheeks." She would roll the waist band up to make them shorter.) and short shirts and spaghetti straps. I am apalled what little girls are wearing these days.

 

I had a lot of hand-me-downs from baby boys.

 

The problem I had with this article is not how long her kids' hair is. It's not even about gender neutral names or clothing. My problem is her belief that gender stereotypes are cultural ONLY and not God-given. Does she really believe that it is society only that produces gender roles and that we can help children "gender identify" by being less restrictive in our expectations? It is really sad that she has fallen for the world's propaganda. the fact is, God has already determined who each of us is to become. No amount of gender-free raising will change that. Gender is a physical trait, not an emotional state! Why is she so determined to ignore the research on this? The research(and the common sense) tells us that gender differences are BIOLOGICAL, not cultural. Why is this mother so afraid of this? why is she trying so hard to fight nature?

 

I agree totally leissa.

 

I think possibly because culture often dumps a whole lot of irrelevant (and occasionally harmful) trappings onto gender identity.

Boys wear blue. Girls wear pink. Boys play with trucks. Girls play with dolls. Girls are sweet. Boys don't cry. Men have to be tough. Women are nurturing. But we all know exceptions to these "rules", don't we?

God doesn't have just two identical cookie-cutters which He uses to create us, male and female. God seems to like to mix things up. So while gender is most definitely biological and innate, it's very hard for us to say much about a particular unique individual, based solely on what's between his or her legs.

I don't think it's propaganda - I think it's idealism. It's a desire to say, "Let's all be human beings FIRST, recognizing the worth and dignity and individuality of each of us."

(FWIW - my answer to young Jazz's question, "Why do people need to know a baby's gender," would have been simply, "People like to know whether to say 'he' or 'she' when they're talking about the baby. It's not polite to use 'it' in English, when you're referring to a person.")

 

When I first read the article, my initial thought was "how odd." Then I re-read it. And decided "whatevah." I agree with some points they make, and I disagree with others. I personally wouldn't want my sons to think there is anything wrong with them being boys. No, I didn't decide their gender, nor did they, but we are perfectly happy with them as males. I do greatly dislike the gender specific stereotypes as they can make children think there is something wrong with their interests/choices. For instance, my 6yo likes the color pink. We had to have a talk with my 11yo about telling him that "pink was for girls." Just as a previous poster said, way back when, pink was a masculine color. Another instance...I know of a young girl who wanted desperately to be Spiderman for Halloween, but her mother insisted that was a costume for a boy and ended up forcing the girl to wear a Tinkerbell costume.

But ultimately, it boils down to each his/her own. It was interesting to read. I agree with the poster that said the controversy was blown out of proportion...but I also agree with the poster who said something to the effect of "don't let how you decide to raise your children become a news article," lol.