We were asked today why we homeschooled the children. Im always quite happy to explain to other people our motivations - poor public schools, racially motivated bullying, and my oldest child being unwell and needed flexible schooling (she has recovered now, hopefully). I just wondered how others came to homeschool?
Special needs, public schools are terrible and the charter school they were going too is getting worse. Even though my kids were not having bully issues at the charter school, the bullying is getting worse at the charter school and nothing being done.
At first we homeschooled for reactive reasons; we both had bad school experiences (he was labelled stupid and illiterate, I was labelled advanced yet failed even though I was getting A's and B's) and we were both concerned with bullying, peer pressure, sexual pressure and/or sexual assult, and substance abuse. How could one teacher meet the needs of 20-30 students, especially when the students changed each year? The list went on and on. Now we homeschool for proactive reasons; it suits our family, our lifestyle and our hopes for our children's futures. It has allowed us to get off the mouse wheel and forget about keeping up with the Jones'. It has given us the freedom to live life the way we want and to follow our dreams We've done a lot of unschooling due to several issues, so while she may not be book smart Loralei is advanced in life skills. I'm still not sure of the best response to the question "why do you homeschool?" How can you adequately sum up a lifestyle choice in a concise way? And without causing the person to feel defensive of their choices? Usually my answer is simply "because it works for us."
Like emjay, we have two sets of reasons. I generally share the reasons why we initially chose to homeschool, which were completely neutral in terms of public schools, and how it turned out to be SO much more of a positive and rewarding experience than we'd anticipated, and how we never anticipated the benefits to our children (as well as our family). I find that's the best response for most people. If I know the person well and think they can listen fairly, I/we (DH & I) may choose to share our growing concerns about public education. Lots of things don't worry me that other people talk about, but there are other aspects I find alarming. I started teaching in public schools in 1989 and continued up until the year before my oldest was born (when I was teaching in a pricey, religious private school), so I feel that I have both insider's and "out"siders perspectives. BTW -- a pricey, religious school is not necessarily an improvement over public school Probably the best school I taught at was a very poor parochial school where I taught half time for one year. So poor, but the staff and the parents worked so hard and were all so involved. We would not have hesitated to enroll our children there, if it were feasible. But we moved away
I just say it's what works for us. The reason we started was PS wasn't a good fit for my oldest, the reasons we continue are too numerous to count. (Funny, oldest is back in the PS that doesn't fit him now, and while it still doesnt' fit him it's the best place for him at the moment)
Pat has Autism and CP and the school wasn't willing to work with us, or listen to us when we spoke of our son (They actually started talking to us about how much they could do with him due to their government funding). The school just low balled his intellegence and we knew that school would crush his spirit. Same with Beau, too. School would have killed him, squashed all his creativity. We wanted to be close to our children, and help them through life, not let a school do it for us.
I agree. My daughter is currently enrolled in a private Christian school. In general, I feel it is safer and the teachers are wonderful (for the most part), but I think she may only be getting a SLIGHTLY better education if not the same education she'd be getting in PS. I want to homeschool because I feel that I can offer her an education tailored to her individual learning style, personality, and at whatever pace we need to work each subject. No other school can offer that type of individual learning. I also want to have more time with them. I want to encourage our family to be very strong and close. I want to instill our values. And of course, I want to shield them from things like bullies, horrible teachers, and too much peer pressure. However, to avoid controversy, I agree that a simple answer like, "It works for us" would be best unless the person is seriously considering homeschooling. I haven't even officialy started homeschooling, and I've already recieved so much negative "advice".
What I tell people is that I want my children to have a Christian education and feel a biblical responsibility to raise my children at home. And that is mostly the whole truth. The part I don't tell people is that the day I took my tiny baby girl to the first day of K at our ps, I cried,not just that morning, but for an entire week. Baby brother never did get used to her being gone, and I began to wonder, how is this good for families? Two best friends are being forced apart and I'm being forced to give up my child to strangers for the majority of her waking hours. Why is this acceptable? Then when dh started to see her go from a sweet little girl to gossip-crazy fashion slave, at age 5 mind you, he said, "bring her home! No child of mine will go to ps!" LOL . We've come up with many more reasons since then, but these were our initial ones.
Originally, it was because my son was soooo far ahead academically, and the school wouldn't make any provisions at all for him, as well as me wanting to use a Bible-based approach. Now, those reasons are still there, but we've added to it a 2E diagnosis (profoundly gifted with Asperger's, motor delays, vision & hearing delays, and sensory processing disorder). I'm able to radically accelerate at home while keeping the rest of our experiences at age appropriate levels or slightly below. He's not getting bullied at home like he has at camps and classes (even religious ones, actually). I definitely don't think a child should be pulled out of the world and sheltered from every little thing, but academically, homeschooling works for us. We're able to make it to therapy sessions, schedule trips, go to P.E. activities that meet his motor skill level, etc. and he's able to make friends with "true peers", not just "age peers". Now we've added my younger son to the mix. He's also radically accelerated, but without the Asperger's and physical delays.
As others have said, we have a "why we started" (because, despite DS testing at a 1st grade level across the board, PS wouldn't let him start K at 5years old because he turned 5 2 weeks too late, yet still before the school year started) and a laundry-list of reasons why we continue. How I answer usually depends on what I perceive is the intent of the asker. If a Christian asks, but are seemingly hostile, I simply say, "God told me to." There is no reply on Earth a Christian can use to overcome that. If someone asks because they truly want to know, I'll usually give the original why, along with a couple of reasons why we continue. If it's someone just asking out of curiosity and in passing, I say something along the lines of, "because it is what's best for our family."
My reasons for homeschooling have changed over the years. When my daughter was ready for school, I just couldn't imagine sticking one of those awful uniforms on her and sending her out to the "best school" to learn to conform. Then my son had learning issues and I didn't want him to learn there was something wrong with him. Now, they are in highschool and my youngest will homeschool due to being ill half the year and the charter school he went to would not accommodate him. I am actually beginning to come up with more reasons for homeschooling him as we adjust to the change.
It's always interesting to me how the lines are getting so blurry. HSers are increasingly coming together to form cooperatives (schools?) and schools are increasingly allowing parents to customize their child's education with different tracks and one or two day programs. I think traditional schools are just so 16th century.
My main reason has changed over time. I started out not wanting my son to face the even worse peer pressure that was sure to come in junior high. He went to private/public schools until 7th. Now, I homeschool mainly because I see a set program for all different children as ludicrous. I feel that there are so many wonderful children out there who are feeling deficient because they don't fit into the cookie cutter type of education. I don't blame the teachers, they can't possible mold their teaching to each individual child AND there are many wonderful teachers out there who will spend extra time with children who need help. I actually feel bad for teachers because they too are held captive by a system that is not working.
That. My 'standard' answer now is: because it's my job and God-given right as a parent to educate my child. And depending on who's asking (and the tone it was asked in) I sometimes add a rant about public school indoctrination and it's goal of training factory workers and sheep who can't think for themselves and therefore don't question the government...
It gets easier to judge why the person is asking and give an appropriate response. A good friend of ours was raised in a very isolating sort of way that has scarred him for life. After a few drinks he starts going on about our choice to homeschool. At first glance it seems very hostile but then you see his eyes tear up (he's a rough, tough, manly man) and you realise that he's just worried that homeschooling will isolate our children the way his upbringing isolated him, and he's scared that they'll feel all the pain and loneliness he felt. My response to him is to point out all the social activities Loralei is involved in, and then his face floods with relief and he changes topic. His heart is in the right place and he loves our kids like he loves his own.
That is so sweet that he is so concerned for them like that. Breaks my heart to hear of his pain like that.
Our main reason is that we want to be the primary influence on our children and allow them to mature as God would have them mature. Our other reason is that our dd is dyslexic and very socially anxious, and we felt that as her parents, we were best equiped to help her learn! I don't really have that many people question our choice, but when I do have people ask, that is what I tell them.
Why? Because I want better than a 49th place education for my kids. South Carolina public schools are some of the worst in the nation.
