I feel silly for posting this. Im pregnant with child #4. I really want to successfully breastfeed. My last three i BF for just a few weeks and gave up due to lack of patience/know how maybe. Im looking for a good book/website to help or some advice from you all. I know with my other three it felt like i nursed constantly. When i got to #3 i had to take care of 1 & 2 and didnt manage well with how to balance it all out. Any advice/resources you can offer is super appreciated
1st nursing constantly, it's normal. Growth spurts make baby need more milk, when baby needs more milk they nurse more to up your milk supply because breastmilk is supply and demand. So many growth spurts early on means constant nursing. But, on the up side, once breastfeeding is established it makes life soooooooooooo much easier! No formula to mix, no bottle to wash, take along, etc. I only breastfed my oldest for 6 months. Then did 6 months of formula. I'm too lazy for that! I breastfed through very painful thrush with baby #2 because I didn't want to deal with bottles and formula! Yeah, it's better for them too, but it's so much easier on ME! HAHAHA! Looking forward to not having to get up out of bed in the middle of the night motivated me! I'd roll over, pop a boob in his mouth and doze back off! haha I got so much more sleep! That's what got me through those first few weeks. Those first weeks ARE the hardest. You're tired, adjusting to new baby, learning each other. Breastfeeding is natural, but it doesn't mean it comes natural to mother or baby. It is work. HARD work. And, it's harder work for some than others. My 1st breastfed fine. My second, was much harder. http://www.llli.org/ and http://kellymom.com/ are two GREAT sites that are full of resources. If you can find a local LLLI meeting, GO! If not, use the website as much as you can. See if your hospital has a LC on staff. Then ask how good she is. Be aware that some hospitals will push formula hard. Even telling you your baby has low blood sugar to do so. Have a plan. You can ask for banked milk (or bring your own colostrum with you) or IV glucose for baby instead. (If low BG is really an issue, though usually it isn't) Make sure no formula, no sugar water and no paci is part of your birth plan and make sure someone is with the baby at all times. And don't feel silly asking questions. There is a lot of breastfeeding misinformation out there, just make sure you use good sources to get your info.
This. Really. With my second, we were breastfeeding with no problems, but I ended up continuing going to meetings because the support of other moms who understand what you're trying to do, why, and are non-judgmental in helping you to achieve success on your own terms...is just priceless.
I third LLL! They have a book that is really good, as well. I also liked the book, I think called the seven laws of breastfeeding. But, basically yes, the first few months you kind of have to be consigned to just nursing all the time. Make a nursing station to make it easier-have snacks, drinks, entertainment near a chair or your bed (where ever you plan on nursing) and be able to do all things from that area.
Eating several small meals a day and staying hydrated is very important. For me the key to success with breastfeeding was having made a decision before hand to supplement with formula as needed. Overall I did about 80 percent breast feeding and 20 percent formula. It really made a difference and made it possible for me to breast feed longer than I would have had I not supplemented and gave up. In the afternoons my babies would want to nurse constantly. By this time of the day, I was quite frankly needing to be doing something other than having a baby nursing. I was tired, frustrated and needed some space. I would give my littles a bottle in the late afternoon. They would be satisfied and usually took a nice nap. at this point, I could nap also and or get something done. Either way mom was getting taken care of. I did not starve the kids for this freedom, but rather fed them something besides breast milk. Other mothers feed only formula and their kids are okay so mine made it through okay with their 20 percent. LOL Supplementing gave me the ability to leave the house and let Daddy take care of the baby. IT made it so DH could feed them in the backseat while we were on longer car rides. I am the driver because he finds driving stressful. DH got some bonding time with the girls that he would not have had had he not bottle fed them part of the time. Had I gotten sick or needed to be hospitalized there would have been much less trama when the girls were given bottles only as they were used to them. We used Avent bottles and their sucking patterns with them were the same as with the natural breast.
I nursed all three of mine, and am so glad I did! With Rachael, I was working full time, and using an electric breast pump which was given to me by my bff. I also nursed on a schedule, not on demand, but that's more of a life-style issue, and not something I want to get off track with! Also, my (soon-to-be) dil has informed me nursing moms on WIC will be provided with an electric pump.
I just want to wish you the best! I had an extremely rough time with my first (even when I was pumping, I'd get only 7 oz per day). I didn't know at that time that I had hypothyroidism. I was bullied into using formula right from the start, and looking back, I'm glad I was. I was depressed about it at first, but it worked out great in the end. Because of 3 back to back surgeries and several medications, I knew I wouldn't bf my youngest. I didn't let myself get upset about it. My hypothyroidism had been diagnosed and was being treated by then, so my supply was painfully abundant, but I wasn't able to use a drop because of my medications and because I wasn't allowed to hold him for the first 3 months. My point is - breast is best, natural, God-given, and all of that, but if it doesn't work, don't beat yourself up. Go to meetings and find a consultant. I had one with my first, but that didn't work for me, either. People say it's easy and that women have done it from the dawn of time, but it's not easy, and women have also supplemented (with wet nurses) from the dawn of time.
Amen, sister!!! LLL sometimes makes you feel a failure as a woman and a mother if it doesn't work. NOT SO!!! You do what is best for your kid, and if supplementing needs to be done, then do so and don't apologize for it!
I'll second the "don't beat yourself up." They tell me that it is rare that a woman simply can not breast-feed, but I tried all three times, and I wept all three times when I couldn't get my supply up enough to feed my baby. I had a lactation consultant working with me each time, and I did all I could. My baby-feeding equipment is clearly defective--all show, no substance! LOL! Good luck with it!
Wow what great encouragement! I have felt like a failure and inferior to other women who successfully BF. i always feel guilty bc i feel like my other kids are being neglected when i have to sit and feed constantly.
Not all LLL groups are alike. And neither are the LCs. I had a bad LC my first baby! Horrible LC! (wouldn't even help me with my baby present! Would NOT let me get my baby from the nursery at the hospital to help me with her!). I have been in three different LLL groups. My first one in NY was very diverse, every thing from women to shy to actually nurse in the LLL meeting to a lesbian couples. And every thing in between. The only thing was, no one was regular so it was hard to form friendships. When I first moved here to Kansas. I started going to my nearest LLL but we did NOT click. Primarily because they do NOT want nursing toddlers there. Cause it "freaks" out new moms. (I later found out the leader had went to her first LLL group with a nursing toddler there-by the leader of my now group-she was the one nursing the toddler. And it freaked her out so much she never wanted to go back to LLL. But, ended up back, became a leader, started her own group and now doesn't allow nursing toddlers in the group....yeah). Any way....I go far far away to the group I go to now. Because we click-lots of nursing toddlers! And every one from people who supplement, to people who are nursing their 5th child and it's the first nursling! To people who exclusively nursed ALL 8 of their children till they were each 5 years old! (literally). And every thing in between! I just mesh with these women. And I drive much further then the close no toddler ruled one! lol But, I love these ladies. We meet all over the place outside the group-many of us travel far to that group, and many of us live closer to the no toddler group! lol We meet at the farmers market, park, etc. Funny thing is as different as we all are, we almost ALL homeschool too! Funny enough! So my point is. Not ALL LLL groups are alike. If you don't mesh with your first one try a different one. The one I am in, is so totally not judgemental, and the women are so so sweet and encouraging. I love them!
That was me, I just did not produce enough. I gave formula AND breast fed successfully. Once ds was off of formula at 1, I still nursed him till he was 3. Point is, you don't have to choose one or the other, you can have the "break" of using formula, and the comfort and benefit to baby of breastfeeding.
My two would have starved without supplementation the first week to 10 days. I did not drop milk until then and the other stuff was not sufficient to help them with jaundice. I had to supplement and it was great that I had planned to, otherwise I might have had emotional issues. We ended up nursing both until about 14 or 15 months before completely stopping. It was a gradual reduction until they were completely off the boob. It was hilarious with the first, DH would come in the room at night and the baby would wave him away. As if to say, this is it dude don't interfere, I am down to only one a day and this is about me and mom. He would laugh and hide around the door frame and sneek looks and snicker and the baby would always know he was there and start waving him off. It was so cute to see the baby grinning and nursing at the same time.
