Ok..I may sound petty here, but I hope you all know me better than that. My family does not like homeschooling. My mother is one of those who never wanted children, thinks they are a waste of time and money, and tells us so. My little sister is a public school teacher. My brother thinks football is the end all be all and being popular in school and he thinks academics are not important, having fun is. He never had children of his own, but his stepdaughter moved in with him because she could get away with whatever she wanted. It worked for her..she got pregnant at 15. My older sister has no children and feels homeschoolers should be prosecuted and the children taken away from those people. She also thinks China's population control policies are great and reasonable. My dad, well, he can't remember a lot so I don't get any troubles from him in this area. His own sister was a school principal and told me that she would homeschool if she could do it over again. OK...so...you know how my 14 yr old was supposed to homeschool this fall? Well, there is a school in the next town over that is a very small school and one of those that runs half day and then the children work from home the other half day. It is high school only. Some of the local homeschoolers were going there for high school so we checked it out. While there, the only other students-to-be that we met were homeschoolers. Later, at Six Flags Homeschool day, I heard from a parent that she knows of a few families from a local private school sending their high schoolers to this school. So, I went back and checked it out again. We took DS14 there to tour again and put in his application and he got in. He is excited to go. I figure if it does not work out, fine. We will just be back to homeschooling which is fine. Problem is, my family, as in mother, sisters, and brother, have really been laying in to me about how I cannot possibly homeschool my son. They will say things like "why would you do that to him?' as if I am hurting him or being cruel and such. It has really gotten to me and even toughened my resolve to homeschool my son. Now that my son is going to attend this other school, I cannot help but feel like this will make them too happy. It seems like this school might work out well for him. But, it just keeps nagging me that those particular insulting, over the top people will feel like they had the say and control in this. This is frustrating me. I know, I should just let this roll off my back..right? I would love some support or encouragement..or something in this. It is actually really bothering me. Thank you.
Next time they say something let them know exactly how you feel. Sounds like they are toxic and should have the enjoyment of your children's company. GL that high school sounds pretty cool.
I would consider the source and let it roll right off my back. I agree with StoneFamily--they sound toxic.
Oh I hate to say it, but your family sounds so familiar. Mine are the same way, always spouting off opinions about stuff that I didn't ask to hear! There is nothing wrong with saying, "How we educate our children is our decision, and the topic is closed for discussion." And refuse to talk about it or give them a platform for their obviously skewed viewpoints. All that matters is what you and your husband decide for YOUR family. The other relatives need to hush up and back off. If they're like mine, they won't, and they'll act mortally wounded for quite a while if you put your foot down with them and refuse to discuss the topic. But they'll get over it! :twisted:
I keep having a back-and-forth discussion with a good friend of mine from high school. He has a problem where, if he decides to do something and then someone tells him to do it, he won't do it because he doesn't want them to think they are controlling him. That, of course, is not where you are, it doesn't sound like you are refusing to do something you want, but I will tell you what I told him anyway: if you decide NOT to do this because you don't want them to control you, then they are still controlling you. Again, I don't think you will, but if you ever have those "maybe I shouldn't" thoughts, remember that. Now, that said. I am lousy at letting things roll of my back. I think there is a big wrinkle or something in my back that stops the flow. That means that I have overanalyzed what I SHOULD be doing even if I'm not very good at it. Just like you shouldn't let it bother you when they are nagging, you equally shouldn't let it bother you when they are going "yeah, it's about time you listened to me" - and it sounds like you're going to get THOSE comments. I'm sure you've heard about the bean dip. I'll give you the practical application. Random meddlesome family member: Oh, I see you are FINALLY listening to me and taking care of your son like a good mom should do. You: Wow, look at how sunny it is today! I thought it was going to rain forever last week. Didn't you? Random meddlesome family member: Well, homeschooling was just too difficult for you, eh? You: I just love that blouse! Where in the world did you buy it? Actually, a conversational redirecting tip: if you make someone talk about themselves, they are more likely to get sidetracked than they would by randomness, especially if you are being positive. So the 2nd example would work better than the first. Other good topics: their hair, shoes, job, house, etc. Just derail them from criticizing YOU by talking about them. And remember, YOU are the one who knows best how to help YOUR family. SG
When I spoke to my little sister on the phone today, every other sentence was "send them to public school." She could hear the children being playing and such in the background and being a bit loud and threw in the remark every other sentence. I am so irritated! I think next time I might just respond to her that she needs to homeschool. She has had endless problems at school with her children and she will tell me about them and I am alway nice to accepting of her choice to send them to public school. I think next time I am just going to tell her to homeschool them.
Yeah, momofafew, check out the local news story I just posted on the Homeschooling in the News thread. It's about two local teachers being busted for drugs. I know that there are some good PS teachers out there, but it seems that we hear more and more about the ones that aren't so good. DH and I were talking tonight that we don't understand why so many people just blindly trust their children to the system when in reality, you don't know who it is that's taking care of them all day, every day. So maybe you could add that in when you tell her that the answer to HER problems might be homeschooling! LOL
Her daughter's math teacher was making fun of her daughter for having a learning disability. Then when her daughter worked very hard for a test and got a good score, the teacher told her she cheated. The teacher was in the room and supervised when she took the test! How could she have cheated? Anyway, neice has math 6th period but the math teacher came to her classroom in 2nd period and pulled her out to tell her she was a cheater and that she was being given a zero on the test because of it. Her only proof of cheating, she said, was that neice was too stupid to get a good score like that. Then it got worse. Between classes then, the teacher stood in the hallway with neices test and waved it around and announced to the kids walking by that neice was a cheater and had cheated on her test! OK..then my sister comes back and tells me I should homeschool? That is probably the worst story of what happened, but there are still many others.
I think it was JenErix who posted the bean dip answer but personally I love it and use it often now. If your family makes a coment that you should do something with your children...offer that person some bean dip. In other words you are telling them without actually saying it that you don't care what their opinion is, you will decide what is best for your child. Don't worry about them thinking they are right..let them think that they influenced your decision, seriously it doesn't matter what they think as long as your child's needs are being met.
A quick comment - my older brother was "abused" by teachers in school (I came through behind them and some even would say it was nice to have a "smart" West family member) it's affected him til this day. He was super skinny and stutters - but man oh man he can whip out History facts like you wouldn't believe!! STILL can do it!! But he barely graduated high school because of everything. But otherwise - I feel for you with your family. It's tough.... and I can say things I would "do" but reality is for me it's not worth the energy to fight it, I have other things to deal with. I threw it in my mom's face I brought my kids up from a 46 & 52% last year on their testing to a 98 & 88%.... last year was year 1 homeschooling and I had to fill in so much no wonder they didn't test well!! Still she quizes the kids when she can...
(((( )))) I sense that you feel like you have egg on your face because you are placing your ds back in ps? If anyone says anything you can something like, "We've always placed *Johnny's* welfare above anything else and at this point this decision appears to be the correct one". If you feel placing him in ps is the right decision at this point then do it. I commend you for doing what is right for your ds rather than do what you are not led to do in order to keep from eating crow. kwim? Down the road homeschooling may become a better option and you can do it then. (((( ))))
