Be honest, Am I wrong? Last month I got pretty sick one day I told Sami to do some schoolwork and I was going to lay down, and not to wake me up unless it was an emergency. I set my alarm for an hour. While I was asleep the phone rang but I didn't hear it and Sami answered and told the caller that "Mommy is asleep and I'll get in trouble if I wake her up." and then she hung up. Also while I was sleeping, Sami did exactly the work I asked her to do and then put in a movie to watch till I got up. When I got up, Sami said a lady called but she didn't know who and I told her not to answer the phone when mommy is asleep. Well, whoever called, immeadiately called our church Secretary to say she was concerned I was neglecting my kid. The Church Secretary called my mom, who callled me and said she wouldn't be surprised if they all report me to CPS for Child Neglect. Now every time I talk to mom, she keeps bringing it up, saying that I'm going to get my kid taken away and that I'm "a great mom... when I'm awake" etc etc. Now Sami is almost 5, and quite responsible for her age. She obeyed exactly what I told her to do when I took the nap, as I knew she would. (She had not ever been instructed on telephone use before) She knew to wake me up if someone came to the door. Do you think a single mom, taking a nap in the daytime is Child Neglect?
You know your child and how responsible she is. I could have done the same thing with Samantha when she was 5 but I seriously doubt I could do that with Grace when she turns 5. Every child is different and how knows them best? Their mom, right? I in know way think this is child abuse. Thats crazy. Now if your child was completely irresponsible and you knew that, then I would say you were wrong for taking a nap. But that doesn't sound like the case at all. Good Luck with this. People tend to blow things that are none of their business completely out of porportion.
I think you will be alright. This reminds me a funny story. Not so funny at the time. Ems was crawling around the house and I was in the kitchen. Handsome walked into the room and caught her playing on the phone so he thought he would join in and have some fun with her. So he starts talking in the phone saying, "Hello, hello! Is anyone there?" Then he hung up, picked up the phone and did it again. Well, about five minutes later a sheriff comes knocking on my front door because someone dialed 911 about three times in a row. I told him my daughter had been playing on the phone and she must have pushed the emergency button. He said that a man kept asking if anyone was there. Then 911 dispatch called our home back and they heard him saying it again. Handsome validated the story but the officer asked if we would mind if he looked through our house because 911 was called three times so he had to search. We let him in and as he started for the kitchen our dog comes charging after him. He ran outside so fast with his hand on his gun. To keep the dog in the house I slammed the door behind the officer which did not look to good. So he knocks again and I walked out to talk with him. When he heard the whole story again he started to laugh and said, "Keep your daughter away from the phone. You can get in trouble for false calls to 911 even if it is accidental." Then he said he did not need to look around anymore and kindly left.
Syele, I agree that you did nothing wrong. You may want to have Sami say something like "my mom is busy right now, may I please take a message". Even at her age she should be able to learn that. My last pregnancy was high risk and I taught my then 5 yr old to call 911 if something happened to me. We praticed using an old phone. On the funny story side, when my older three were about 6,5 & 3 I remember having a sick headache come on. Before I went to lay down I put a crock pot of chili on and let the kids sit down with play dough. When I get those headaches it is better to sleep them off so I went to lay down. The chili smelled sooo good and as I half dozed I kept hearing the kids making a bang, bang, bang sound. All of a sudden I heard a crash and went out to find my entire pot of chili over my entire kitchen. They had been banging their playdough and the crock pot eventually "walked" off the table. To tell the truth, I was never a good napper when they were little, I would mainly doze. Even now when I have the grandbaby over I wake in the night to listen for her breathing! I think it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with Sami. Some people just like to be busy bodies. We lived in a trailer park when my kids were little and the landlady would tell everyone she would call social services on them if she felt you did something wrong. Even knowing you were doing right by your child it makes you feel funny having someone talk to you like that. Keep up the good work!!
Yeah since then I have talked to her about 911. (I started the conversation and she began to recite the rules, turns out it was explained in detail on a tape she has LOL) Also because it's my mom freaking out on me, I have made a rule that Sami is not allowed to answer the phone at all. I was just about to start teaching her how to answer the phone politely , and what to say to people when they asked for me etc. When mom started talking to me about all this. Now I'm Paranoid to let her answer it ever. Thanks for the reassurance. It starts making me feel insecure to be threatened with CPS all the time.
Yep, I agree, Syele. You are doing a great job and you shouldn't worry about it. Just look at it as a learning experience. Teach Sami to either not answer the phone (which is what I would do) or how to respond to someone if they call. Anyone who knows you and your dd will know what a bright girl she is and will know there is nothing to worry about.
An hour can be a long time, Syele, if you're sound asleep. (I've been a single mom too, working third shift with a small child home all day with me, so I know what you're dealing with.) Although you know her and we don't, she still is only 4. What were the arrangements- was she in the room with you doing her work, or were you in your bedroom with the door closed? I hope no one reports you, because I've been there and done that three times. You have to tell them your life story and they still talk as though they'll take your child.
Syele, I have to agree you are a wonderful mother, but it's the others that don't know you and Sami that are going to make a big deal out of it. You need to teach Sami, I understand it's hard but she is a bright child. Sometimes I wish people would mind there own business, but they can't. I will tell you a funny store, my little daughter was home with her daddy and I went to store with my oldest when my littlest thought I was gone to long and tryed to call me and called 911 instead. My dh didn't know it until the police came to the door. They came in checked everything over, under the beds, open shower curtains, then drilled my dh and little one. By the time I got home she was crying so hard and felt so bad. The poor thing.
Sami was doing her work in the same room with me, but she left the room to go answer the phone and watch the movie. The movie had not been on long when I got up. Also I didn't fall asleep immeadiately from setting the alarm so I'm guessing I was asleep about 30 minutes. I don't think anyone reported me, or they probably would have been here by now.
No, not really they take some time to get everything together, but lets just hope mom is over reacting. Hang in there we are praying for you all. That is the last thing you need right now.
I would try not to worry about it and maybe it is best to have her not answer the phone or buy a cheap answering machine. Our only cost about$10. I know sometimes that is alot too. Lorna
I would ask the church sec. who it was that called and was concerned. And if it is someone who is reasonable, have a chat with them. The fact that they in turn called your mother and expanded the story to "threaten" that someone might call cps is gossiping and threatening so dont let them put you on the defensive, and refuse to give you the information as to who spoke with your child. Proper church discipline was not carried out so again do not let them put you on the hot plate. Did anyone come by or call back to see what might be the problem? No they judged you instead of offering Christian support. I used to need naps when my first was real little, and I occasionally still do. I use movies for those emergencies, and often I will put the volume real low and sleep on the floor in the same room where the kids are watching the movie. Another thing that worked when there was only one, was that I would sleep in her room on her bed. I would tell here that she could play with any of her toys or books that she wanted to as long as she was very quiet and that I would clean them up for her. I set a timer and put it on the dresser, and closed the door with us both in the room. Our door hinges squeek so bad she could not have left the room with out waking me. Almost everytime I woke up with a toddler next to me sleeping. .
Syele, I was a foster mother for over 20 years and have kept 116 foster children. My husband is a retired town cop, deputy, Police Chief, detective. He often went with Social Services in our area on calls when they asked. I know this is an upsetting time for you but there are things you can do to make a good impression IF anyone does come to check up on this. First I would not talk about this whole thing to very many people and don't act like you are upset or they might turn it around and make it look like you did something wrong. People get defensive and things get ugly. Just be calm and see what happens. Don't go making it worse by saying things that could cause people to call and tell Social Services more junk. And remember Social Services gets lots of calls that they never go check on. They have to evaluate the calls and they decide whether or not they need to go out. It might take more than one call to get them interested and you don't want that. If anyone does come from Social Services, be polite and friendly but don't ask them who called or start trying to justify anything. Just tell them what happened and show them you are calm, honest, and that you want to fix anything they think is a problem. Don't refuse to talk to them or act angry. The first room they see in your house is how they will get their first impression of you. Make sure it is neat and child friendly but don't try to over do. Just be yourself and it will be okay. Someone called on my neighbor once and as soon as the social worker walked in the living room she saw that it was a spite call and nothing ever came of it. She said it happens a lot. People call just to be mean. It happened at the school my girls were in and really caused a problem for one lady. I hope I don't sound like a know it all. I certainly don't mean to. I just felt so bad for you and thought about some of the things I have heard over the years as kids came and went around here. As long as you have food, and a decent home for your children where they are loved and cared for, the state doesn't want them! Beth
I think I would have used *69 to find out who called, but thats hindsite and I wouldn't worry. I would still teach her how to use the phone. I would have her say "my mom is unavaliable right now can I get your name to have her call you back."
At age 4, I'd just have her wait a couple of years before she answers the phone on her own. When she can write well enough to take a complete message, and old enough to comprehend all that the caller may be saying. But that's just mho.
Syele, I hope this isn't the wrong time for a funny story but talking about answering the phone reminded me of a good one. My friend is a nurse. She was home with her son and she went to the bathroom. The phone rang and she told her son, age 4, to answer it. She could hear him say no she can't come to the phone, she's pooping. She ran to the phone and it was the doctor she worked for! We all cracked up over that one. Beth
I think you should tell her not to answer the phone. She is young and may say the wrong thing to the wrong person. (like she did) I would also try not to worry to much about it. I hope it all works out. You could also work on how to answer the phone and tell her she can only answer when mommy says it is ok. Good Luck
When I worked third shift I would rest on the couch with Kevin watching a video right there. I'd fix a tray of snacks and soda for him so he'd stay in the living room. When he was tiny I'd sleep in his room, but never restfully. That was a sucky way to live all those years. Someone said this was a lesson, and that's true. We're to look out for our little ones before ourselves, and that's hard sometimes.
