Hi again, Here I am hardly ever posting, and posting two days in a row. I have wanted to hs since prior to the birth of our eldest dd 4 years ago. Here we are now at crunch time and I'm experiencing small doses of cold feet. It is nothing to do with any doubt in my ability, but more about not fitting in, I guess. We moved to this town one and a half years ago and most mothers I have met at the usual activities pretty much balked at the idea of homeschooling and some took it as an offence. I think they feel that I think ps isn't good enough for my kids (which I don't) and I'm judging their decision to send theirs to school (which I am not). So I did by chance find a large hs community, but they are very conservative christian (no offence, I'm a fence sitter, open minded just not comfortable with being completely immersed (sp?) in religion). So I don't feel like we belong there either. So I'm finding myself questioning, if we choose to homeschool, am I isolating my kids. Obviously in connection with my other post I'm going through some struggles right now. All I know is in my heart I want to homeschool. My dh & I both feel that if we send our kids off to school we are sending them off to fend for themselves in a world we don't think they are old enough to handle. Yes, I want to protect them. Yes I want to have input as to what they learn and how they learn it. But I don't want to cut them off from the world. In regards to my other post, they are only young now, but when they are older I know the need to hang out with other kids is vital. But will our kids be so seen to be so that they won't be accepted by other kids? What have your experiences been when it comes to clubs outside of normal "school" activities that are not church related? I'm so confused. Sorry about the long post. Katrina.
church related activities can be 'normal' how old is 'older' ? and what does vital mean to you? also what does 'hang out' mean? and what does 'isolating mean? never seeing a human again maybe only having 2 or 3 friends? Not being invited to endless birthday parties you don't want them to go to? I homeschool because it is the best thing for my kids and I don't give one little hoot if they won't be able to 'hang out' with their 'friends'. After all that is WHY I homeschool. My dd said to me, but mommy what about my friends? I said, honey that's why we homeschool! She does have friends. She has 4 close friends, and basically that is it. She sees her grandma regular, her cousins a few times a year and has a sister and a dog. That is all she needs. I guess that is all for each parent to decide what is best for their kids, I am just saying that the 'idea' that YOU have currently, is just that, an idea. There are alternate ideas. Just because other kids might hang out with a dozen friends their parents know very little about, doing who knows what?, doesn't mean you should shape your ideas or education of YOUR kids around that. If other people roll their eyes at you, who cares! Well, that is the way I see it, you may have totally different thoughts on the matter. But at any rate, my kids have a few close friends, that are GOOD friends. That is what matters, it is quality, not quantity. If the homeschool community you found is pretty large, chances are there are several others in the group that feel much as you do. Even so, just because they are 'conservative' Christians, doesn't mean you should automatically mark them off. They may open your kids up to some great ideas, and values, and make wonderful friends.
Honestly when we started I was a fence sitter too. We are in a very Bible belt area and most people who hs here are very religious. I didn't feel like I fit in with them (and plus they were over 1 1/2 hours away). We were alone for 1 1/2 years. I finally decided to jump on in the religious group when we moved closer (now only 20 minutes away) and we are loving it. One thing that I've noticed is that everyone is so friendly and that they hardly ever talk about the specifics of religion (which is what I would have had a problem with). We belong to a few groups now that are Christian based and I am so glad we just jumped in and joined. Not saying that this is what you should or shouldn't do. Just giving my own experience. I'm sure that regardless of what you decide you will make the best choices for your child. Good luck with everything!
I agree with peanutsweet - when they're little, everybody is their "friend" because thety have no discrimination, that is, they have a very high tolerance for anything and everything. They can't yet discriminate between right/wrong, good/bad, or lots of other things that will influence them. That may be lovely when they're small, but it doesn't take long until they're bringing home things you'd rather they didn't tolerate. My ds and his wife just decided that it was better for their son to come live with us at this time, pulling him out of Head Start to move in with us, because of what he was picking up at school: horrible language (including the f-bomb) and flashing "gang signs" included. FROM HEAD START! His behavior was such that his parents couldn't discipline him, because of hearing it from HER parents and grandmother - don't punish him for that! he don't belong in time out!, getting him out of bed and giving him candy when his parents stepped next door for a bit... You have to rear the children God has given you in the way they should go -- not according to "community standards". That mess about how it takes a village.... well, I've seen the village, and I don't want them raising my grandchild! It's way easier to homeschool from the get-go than it is to "break the public school habit" later on. We're teaching Other People's Kids, almost all of whom have come to us out of public school. We pulled ds out for fifth grade and homeschooled until he was done -- he was still back-and-forth with this issue until his ds got old enough "they" wanted him to go. Now he's decided what's best for his ds, and we are praising God for it!
The proverbial They need to come up a diagnosis for this. Virtually everyone I know goes through the "cold feet" stage. I always tell my friends who are planning to homeschool to watch out for it ahead of time, and that the most difficult part of homeschooling is not showing up for public school registration in the fall. We are extreme Jesus freaks here, and the homeschooling groups are organized by Christians, but it is a mixed group of people from all sorts of walks of life and specific beliefs rarely--if ever--come up. The group is homeschooling focused, not religion focused. That being said, if you want to participate in the co-op, part of the registration form has a section about basic beliefs to avoid any problems with some material that might be presented (i.e. creation instead of evolution if there is a dinosaur unit, etc.) I'd definitely give the group a try with an open mind that it might be a perfect fit for you. Now, about socialization. I will warn you: your children will not always fit in with their public school counterparts--they will be waaaaaaay more mature. You will constantly get compliments from strangers at restaurants about how well-behaved and polite your children are. You will be thanked by countless parents at parks when your 10 year old graciously tends to the little ones wanting to play with the 'big kid'. You will be asked if you husband is in the military because your child refers to the check-out clerk as ma'am. It will get so bad that you will question wether or not homeschooling is a good fit for you because you are starting to have a pride issue within yourself. But all is not lost! Your will have days when you wish you didn't share their last name. Days when they misspell something on a thank-you card and all you think of is how it reflects on your teaching. You will have days when you want to drop them off at the bus-stop in the hopes the driver will mistake them for one of the public school students. Oh, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat....sigh.... My kids are 10 and 13. They can jump in and play with kids from birth to college age. They can sit at the table with adults for coffee and conversation. They have friends at church, friends from 4-H, friends from in town, friends who are family, and friends I wish they didn't have. The great thing about homeschooling is that you can guide them in their friendships. Your kids are close to you, they care about what you care about, and they respect the time and love you have invested in them. Don't second guess you and your husband's decision to homeschool. You will love it more than you ever could have imagined. So glad you are here to get encouragement from people who have been through every situation you will ever encounter.
Thank you for your responses, I really appreciate them. Brooke, you made me LOL You are so right about staying away from registration. I think that has sparked the problem as other mothers start to discuss schools etc. I will not write off the Christian group, I can only try it out. I definitely agree that starting out from the begining would be much easier than to pull them out of school. I just needed to keep reminding myself as to why we have decided to hs in the first place. Many times when I feel the doubt creep in, my gut tells me I just cannot not homeschool. Thank you so much, I am so glad you are here to turn to. Katrina.
