If you found a homeschool group, but you were offended by the name of the group, what would you do? Not join? Join & then criticize the name, before even meeting any members? Join & just not say anything? If you were the owner of said group, and someone joined & then posted about not liking the name & 'never ever say I belonged to this group'... what would you do? I started a Yahoo group recently. I started it because I couldn't find an established group that would be a good fit for us -- too far away, conflicting schedules, faith-based only, requiring lots of parental participation in classes & what-not, etc. I'd been able to find a few homeschoolers (VERY few) closer to my area by posting in various places... and we'd started getting together for park days --- but I thought it'd be easier communication & easier for others to find us if they were in similar situations if I started a group. The purpose of the group is just to get the kids together a few times a month to play at the park --- let the kids in rural areas make some friends, basically. Well... I'm having a brain-fart right now & can't remember what the term is... but you know how a lot of places will have a word in their name in which the letters represent the first word in the place's details? (Like T.R.E.E could be The Really Enormous Elephant) Okay, so I made up one: CHAOS (Choosing Home as our School) I liked it -- thought it was fitting because I think we ALL know there is a degree of chaos in homeschooling -- some times more than others. I thought it might be espacially good for those just starting out --- always doubting themselves ---- or people like me who have no choice but to try & teach in a chaotic environment. Really didn't think too much deeper into it than that. Well, I have a member -- whom I've never even met -- making posts about not liking the name & how she'd never EVER tell someone she was a member of a group named "Chaos"... so not to expect any promoting from her, etc, etc.... but that I shouldn't be offended. She's entitled to her view, of course... but I find myself wondering why she would join the group if she had issues with the name? Do you think she was just trying to create drama... or.... ? I made a new -- lengthy -- post reitterating the purpose of the group & why I named it what I did.... I said that I was disappointed that some members were embarrassed by the name (I did NOT apologize), but that I was happy with it & even a little proud. So, I guess I'm wondering if I handled it correctly --- I'm new at all this group-owner stuff.
CHAOS.......I like it! Of course, with my 3, chaos & park days go hand and hand. I'd just ignore her.....maybe she'll never show up :lol:
I like it too. I have to say that Chaos to me does not always have to be a bad thing. Besides I think of our little family as organized chaos! So I wouldn't worry too much about it. You made it clear why you chose what you did and if she's offended she can either choose to not come to the events or just deal with it.
vereran home school mom here, CHAOS sounds great! I would look it up just because of the name! And maybe that person has not been schooling her kids long so has not reached the chaos level? Who knows?
Thanks all.... I already got one reply thanking me for my explanation & saying she was never offended by the group name... that it fit her house pretty good, too. I know it's long... but just in case anyone did want to read my reply, here it is: "Let me start by saying this: I'm not offended by anyone's statements concerning the name of this group. Everyone is entitled to their opinions... it's what makes the world to 'round. I'd like to, however, reaffirm my purpose for this group, explain why I started it, and why I chose the name I did. My purpose for starting this group was to be able to get my kids into social situation & help them to make friends. As of right now... my kids have no friends besides each other. On my street, there are a few households with children, but they are also households where the police are often called and the children are usually unsupervised, out of control, and have some serious behavior problems. So that option is out. The nearst town is 5 miles away and consists of little more than a 4-way stop. I've made attempts to find/contact homeschoolers there, so far (in 3 yrs of looking) have only managed to find a group through the Catholic church that wouldn't allow us to join. All the other groups I've found, for one reason or another, don't work for us. Their activities are too far away or are set on times/dates that don't work for us. The groups have too much for me in the way of 'committies' or requirements for parents' participation in classes or what-not. Or, they are a faith-based group... which again, we're not welcome into. We've tried sports/clubs before, too, but my kids never made friends from them that they stayed in contact with, and now we're unable to cover the costs & transportation issues that come along with signing 3 kids up for activities. I've spent many many hours in contact with homeschoolers over the net from all over the country, and I found that there are a LOT of people out there in my same situation. There are so many that try the more mainstream groups, they don't work for them, and then find it impossible to find other homeschoolers in their area --- and often times, they're right around the corner from each other & never know it. So.. that's why I decided to try and start a group -- for those of us out in the boonies... for those of us that just don't fit into the larger groups for some reason... for those of us who don't have it 'all together' & sometimes have to find a way to 'wing it'..... solely for the purpose (at least for now) of letting our kids make friends & have a little free time to be kids. When I first started homeschooling, I was second-guessing myself constantly --- going onto the boards & reading about all the great things others' kids were doing & how organized everything was --- it was very overwhelming. I felt like a failure more often than not & often contemplated calling it quits. It took me years to discover that everyone wasn't like that --- that there were other people trying to teach 3 grade levels in a 1200 sq ft house with a toddler destroying everything in her path. I learned that you CAN homeschool in chaotic environments and that, sometimes, it's even better preparing my kids for the real world. My goal for this group is to reach out to others in our situations -- to let them know we're here... that they don't have to burn up a tank of gas, or sign a statement of faith, or organize a class, or have the perfect environment to teach in to join this group. It's just for our kids. The group's name is in no way meant to encourage a chaotic learning environment's Some of us just ARE in those environments & have to find ways to adjust. It would've been SUCH a blessing to me during my early years in this to have someone/a group tell me "Hey! Me too! It's okay.... you CAN homeschool with all the distrations!" I'm disappointed that some are offended and/or embarrassed by this group's name. I have to say, though, that I'm quite happy with it....maybe even a little proud. Laura"
Nice letter! If it were me and I got offended by the name (something that I wouldn't do though) I wouldn't bother joining. Perhaps this person or these people need something to complain about. They always have the choice of never returning or not even joining at all in my opinion.
Well, I think you did just great. If your explanation does not do the trick and this one member starts harping on it again, you have every right to contact her personally: "Dear XYZ, I am sorry you are so oppossed to the name of the group. I respect your opinion, but as the owner of the group, I do not find your comments encouraging or helpful to the group. Please refrain from posting regarding the name of the group. Thank you for your understanding." If she does it again, delete her from the group and send her a personal message: "Dear XYZ, I am sorry that you still feel a need to vocalize your dislike of the group name. As this is a private list and the name will not be changing, I have deleted your membership." I think she was totally out of line in the first place. If she did not like the name she did not need to join.
Wow that was a long letter I think it really bothered you about what she said to have did that letter. I wouldnt let it bother you further though...you will find as you homeschool and go on with life that people are going to say or do things that will bother you through the years. Be happy things usually work out in your favor maybe it wasnt meant to be for her to be there. Who would want someone that negative anyways. I had a lady say awful things about my bookclub once I never confronted her but others knew what she did with her gossip, she never came back thank goodness infact I was so happy she never came back too coop either Sam ps love the name
Bless ya sweety, but I think you "Over-Explained". I think you should have said something to the effect of: "Membership to this group is entirely voluntary. This group is for those with similar interests and the ability to use their funny bone. Since you seem to have such a problem with the groups name, perhaps you stumbled in here by accident?"
I think you handled it great. I personally love the name and you were very creative in coming up with it.
When someone goes to the trouble of starting a group, the people who benefit, but would not start one on their own, begin to criticize something about the one who did. It just goes with being a leader--You are going to wear yourself out if you are going to douse every little candle flicker with several gallons of water. Personally, I would probably not be so attached to a group name that I would not put it to a vote, but that is me. If you want to keep it, I think it would have been sufficient to remind everyone that she could use the full name rather than the acronym.
I am assuming the person was looking to start trouble. Why would they join if they didn't like the name?
Personally, I love the name. It discribes our situation perfectly. As you gather years in homeschooling you learn to let the negative go and treasure the good. I will check out your group. I am in wyoming and have the same problem fitting in anywhere.
Yeah, I know... I tend to do that. I used to give everyone the short, sweet, (aka blunt) reply to everything ~~ & believe me, being a Buddhist homeschooler in rural Texas, among other things, provides PLENTY of opportunities for that!! lol But I found out that a lot of the people who are critical of my choices honestly don't understand anything about them or why I make them.... 'over explaining' sometimes gets the "Ohhhhhh, okay.. gotcha.... didn't look at it like that" reaction.
It's hard to know how to react to some things! I tend to get too wordy too, to try to explain my position CLEARLY! I hope this group works out well! I'm glad you started it, I think the name is cute, and I hope it goes well from here on out!
I think you handled it fine. I too think you have every right to contact this lady and if she doesn't stop delete her membership. If she didn't like it she shouldn't have joined at all. I LOVE the name! Some people just like to cause trouble. Too bad I live on the North side of Houston - I'd love to hang out with you and your kids!
