Dealing with people who are negative about homeschooling

How do you deal with this? I have found that when talking some people they tend to get quite when schooling comes up and I mention I homeschool. For the most part people are respective while others are generally interested in how it works and ask many questions. However, there are those who immediately turn off or even make a comment along the lines of "the education system isn't good enough." Have you all had similar experiences? If so, how do you deal with it?

 

By keeping lots of bean dip on hand! http://goybparenting.com/?page_id=28

 

People who view our HSing in a negative light also have their different motives. Some are genuinely concerned. My wife's grandmother is one of these. She feels bad for my wife b/c she has four kids under 6 at home and we are preparing to adopt more. On top of all that, we homeschool. So...dealing with her is simply a matter of showing her that my wife is not imploding.
In our church community, there is a school that the church leadership really wants us to support. Since we homeschool, they suspect that we look down on their school. Again...this is dealt with by attending school functions and generally supporting their efforts.
Then you have the people that think our children are going to turn out to be disasters. they aren't going to get a good education. To such, I simply try to lay out my plan. After all my explanation, some of these still think I am crazy. Others in this group, actually start to realize that I am making sense, and their ongoing negativity is simply a result of the fact that they still send their children to school.

Just be friendly. Whatever you do....do NOT be offended. To get offended at negative comments (even if they are offensive) is weakness. Real strength is to be found in what the older writers used to call "meekness". Meekness is the virtue that enables us to moderate our anger in light of offense.

 

I'm just nice but firm. Try to change the subject.

For some reason no one really says anything to me. Hubby says I scare people LOL people say stuff to him all the time about us homeschooling though that I'll get tired of that, can't he talk me into putting them back in PS, why would I want to homeschool, etc.

I can usually tell you why people we know have something to say about it though and try to deal with the underlying issue. And honestly, I don't really much care what strangers think about it.

My parents are the only ones that have said anything to me about it. The thing with them is they just don't understand it. My dad didn't even think it was legal and insists that homeschooling was around when he was school age LOL (apparently PS is older than learning at home! LOL) But he's 75 and doesn't always make sense or think clearly anymore. My mom doesn't understand that my philosophy and approach is not the same as PS (we unschool) so....If we do something really traditionally schoolish I always make it a point to show them. They just worry he's going to be 'behind' and not learn and they simply can't understand how homeschooling works.

 

No one says much. Those that do doesn't bother me. It's like my hubby says they aren't living our lives and we don't live with them so who cares.

 

I have always thought I must scare people too. Maybe I look mean? Anyway very seldom does anyone say anything to me about the way we educate our girls and grandson and when they do say something it is usually just to ask a question because they don't understand what we do. I do not get ugly comments and if I did I would just ignore them. I am too old and set in my ways to let someone else control my blood pressure!

 

I'm so blessed to live in an area where homeschooling is perfectly normal. Everyone knows people who are homeschooled. Even the old farts at the grocery store comment positively when the boys tell them where they go to school.

I have only had a couple of negative comments, and I tend to pass the bean dip. I'm not interested in wasting energy arguing with people who have no eternal responsibility for my children.. even if those people are related to me.

 

I've only had one true bad experience, and it was shortly after we began. I had opted at that point to keep it a bit under wraps from my family of birth (they are very judgmental people). But I live in a small town.. one family member found out, and called me up. After all but telling me I was incapable of teaching a 6yo the basics, he said we should have had a 'family meeting' about it. I wasn't very nice, honestly, and he hung up on me.

For this type of person, it doesn't really matter what I would have said. We don't need an 'intervention' with extended family to make decisions about OUR dd (who was failing ps, incidently, which just makes the entire thing MORE ridiculous). These are OUR children. The law is on our side, and we care far more about their education than a stranger could who was assigned for just one year (not the teacher's fault, but there it is).

We know we are doing the right thing for our kids and our family. I won't outright try to justify what we are doing. Now- that doesn't mean I don't brag up the successes. I DO! But I won't try to defend our position. My father (irony there I won't get into) told me adults don't have to answer 'why' questions.

Another family member who disapproves chooses not to talk about it, and I think there is respect for me in that. Thankfully, all of dh's family has been EXTREMELY supportive.

 

The family's first reaction was that we were keeping money away from public schools who really need it, and that we'd be contributing to lower test scores by not having our "smart kids" in "regular schools". They got over both arguments pretty quickly. They still mention money once in a while, but have generally been supportive so far. I have a suspicion dh's family will reeeeeeally start talking up PS kindergarten in the Fall when their (admittedly) FAVORITE grandchild (only girl in 3 generations) goes to PS kindergarten. Mine won't be going to K next year. He's told them very firmly he wants to stay home so he can do 3rd with me, play all day, and see his friends whenever he wants. :lol: We'll see if any hoopla blows up in the Fall. I really don't know. 50/50. If it does, oh well! Dh doesn't get along with his side of the family anyway. We'll happily walk away from the conversation and take our inferior grandBOYS with us. :roll:

 

For me it depends on who the comment comes from and any obvious motivation behind the question. Some people I give facts and with others I say little. I had a negative comment tonight. Someone told me that homeschooling was selfish. :lol::roll:

I didn't let that one go. Most people who say things like that aren't very well informed. Sometimes a few facts will "shut them up."

 

How IN THE WORLD did you stop laughing long enough to respond?????

 

I don't think I could have stopped laughing! Yeah we are so selfish to want to make due with less money, rarely have time for ourselves, ...... Wow now that is one I would have had to comment on too.

 

I think the negativity comes from lack of knowledge about homeschooling. There is a perception that you absolutely have to have adegree in education to teach a child (I didn't need one when I taught the boys to walk, to talk, to sit, to stand, to ride a bike and tie their shoes).

I believe now, more than ever, that homeschooling a child is the most selfless thing a parent can do for their child and you'll always find me supporting a homeschooler.

 

The perception is that you need a degree to do ANYTHING anymore! What before needed a high school diploma now needs a degree; things like teaching require a MA now instead of a BA or BS. (Maybe not at first, but you'll need to get it eventually.) It's amazing you don't need a certificate to turn on the stove!

 

I agree with what someone else said, it depends on their attitude along with the comment/question.

I haven't had any outright negative comments. I have had some quizzical looks and puzzled reactions.

I also have had to realize that the WAY I homeschool can be up for judgement also. This kind of judgement can come from public school supporters or even fellow homeschoolers (gasp). This was even the way I was. I started out very much like "school-at-home" and I thought all the nonsense I heard about not using curriculum or things was too relaxed and these people didn't know what they are doing.

Now, I realize that there are many different ways of homeschooling and learning is not about mimicking the schools. Heck, I don't know how much real learning takes place there.

I guess I am just saying, it is easy to be judgemental when you don't understand things, even if you think you understand. So, unless someone is really mean and ugly--respond kindly. If they are just mean and ugly--change the topic or walk away.

 

:lol: Personally, I know some people who should have been required to have a license/certificate before they're allowed to have children!!! :lol: :roll:

 

ROFL! Sometimes I read coments and immediately look for a like button forgetting I'm not on facebook... this is so true

 

The reason you now need that degree is because you need to learn about things that you should have learned in HIGH SCHOOL but didn't.

 

It's TRUE!!! :shock::!:

 

Well, I have to say that HS in general doesn't get me much grief at all, but whenever I mention my interest in Accelerated, streamlined or especially infant education at all, people flip out. I'm learning to keep my mouth shut more often than not, but I think that quality is much more important than quantity any day.

I'm still exploring and learning so much about my latest hobby of educational philosophies and such. I think that habit and character are so much more important than most people will even consider.

I so look forward to homeschooling my own babies someday!