Okay, this might be long, and I'm sorry for that, but my husband and I are concerned for our oldest son, Beau. This kid is...weird. Just weird. I love him to death, he is my first born son, but...he's weird. Take this evening for instance: we were at my parents house and he was sitting on my brother's lap (which my brother never lets him do, due to his autism and sensitivities) and Beau couldn't help himself! He has his hands and fingers in Brother's face the WHOLE TIME! He was teasing him and thought it was funny. He was told to stop several times, but he wouldn't. I took him in the kitchen and spanked him with my hand. He went back and IMMEDIATLY started again!! After being told again and again and again to stop he wouldn't. So...my anger was...pretty bad....I took him in the kitchen and swatted him 3 times on the bottom with a wooden spoon. Not hard, but he knew what was happening. I then told him to sit down in the kitchen s I could talk to him, and he started smiling and trying not to laugh! HEEEELLLOOOO?! You just got in severe trouble for teasing your handicapped Uncle and you're LAUGHING?! WHAT exactly is FUNNY?!?!?! He just says, "Because" or "nothing" or "I'm not laughing" when he clearly is. I mean...I was born at night, but not LAST night. I don't get it! I don't! He does this ALL the TIME! Get in trouble, it's funny! No matter WHAT I DO!! He deliberately annoys his brothers and other people, and then doesn't give two hoots about getting into trouble! He refuses to follow the rules and then thinks it's MY FAULT he can't follow the rules! "Beau, sit in time out for pestering your brother." He cries, "But I HATE time out! I'm going to destroy this house and the stairs! Then we wont have a house with stairs! We'll have to move to a NEW house and there WONT be ANY stairs!!!! NO stairs for Time Outs!!!" Oh good grief. Cool it kid. I just don't know how to deal with this. I can't take him anywhere without him misbehaving or being weird! He says stuff that makes me sense and has weird voices and thinks it's hilarious to do these weird voices and movements in public. UGH! I don't know what to do. I don't. ANy suggestions? Does any body else have kids like this?! HHEEELLLPPPP!!! We're at our wits end!!!
I always sat them down and told them that I could not figure out where such behavior was someing from unless it was from watching TV or playing video games etc. The I would let them know that if it continued they would loose screen time that day, and if more , then the next days too. etc. It usually brought things under control in a day or two.
Wait, I'm confused! This was Beau, your "normal" kid, sitting on the lap of your autistic brother? And Paddy is autistic, too, correct?
Yes, Beau was sitting on my brother's lap and my brother has autism like Paddy. We joke that autism runs in our family because a great uncle of mine has it, My brother has it, and Paddy has it! Beau is our "normal" kid, yes.
Ah. My first reaction was "He's autistic; what can you expect?" So now I see that isn't so! Could it be that Beau was mimicking his autistic brother and uncle?
If this is typical….have you ever had him evaluated for ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). It's where the child has not filter and is intentionally defiant and cannot process that he/she is. I had two students many years ago who were ODD. It took A LOT to work with them. I had two aides in my room specifically so I could work directly with them (and I only had 10 kids in my class!). Anyway….that sounds very familiar….laughing at discipline, continuing a behavior after being told to stop and being disciplined repeatedly. It took SERIOUS consistency. And a lot of this was before the one kid had the official diagnosis. It was a quite a couple years with this kid….but it was good in the end. I was one of the only people that the one boy would actually listen to. Praying. Sorry.
I have looked up ODD, and some of it fits. He just absolutely drives me up a wall!! He thinks if he gets in trouble it's OUR fault and not his! He finds other ways to blame all of his issues on others, or when he's in trouble he giggles and smiles! What?! UGH!! I've taken so many privileges away, lessened screen time to only 30 minutes during the day and one hour in the evening (bc DH cant handle the TV not being on :roll: ), and it's helped a bit, but only a bit. I am hoping it will get better when it warms up because he has explosive energy and contained in the house all day grinds everybody's nerves. When it's only 5 degrees outside there's no way they can play. That wind is sharp! Whew! Thanks for the suggestions. He completely overwhelms and infuriates me some days.
May I just say you aren't alone. My son 10 has always been well different. I have never had him tested so he may be an aspie he may not..I don't like to label..but he does blame his sister in particular for EVERYTHING. Sometimes he blames her even when she hasn't been home...and sometimes he blames her for things that don't even need blame. For years I dreaded taking him anywhere. He would sit and sulk or have complete meltdowns. He would be difficult for no apparent reason out of the blue. I have no idea where it comes from. I totally get your frustration with the behavior. For the unnecessary blame I have instituted a new rule. Every time I catch him blaming someone else he loses a piece of lego. So far I have collected over a dozen pieces. :/ I have worked with him for years to manage his outbursts. He has triggers we try to avoid. For example if he is in a social situation, which he doesn't care for to begin with, and he is overtired you can get those laughing outbursts as you mentioned. One night at archery he was benched for not listening to the instructor...a regular child would feel bad but he sat there laughing maniacally over something while looking at some other kids. He looked nuts. It's embarassing. When questioned later he said he had thought of something funny. hmm Again not knowing that his own behaviors are being viewed by others. I think sometimes he forgets other people exist. Thankfully over the years it's been getting better. However I think the laughing etc.. is a new way of it whatever it is manifesting itself in early puberty. Hang in there. You aren't alone. Keep working on character and life skills aka social skills.
What do you suppose would happen if he were video'd while behaving "irrationally" and then shown the video?
