Sometimes, I feel guilty over doing something if it might hurt someone's feelings. This actually causes me a lot of problems. For example, today, we are getting a new bed. A family member told me they really want my old bed. Problem is, this particular person, in the past, has made requests like this and then never actually took what they wanted. So I ended up storing whatever for a couple of years and then finally carted the thing off to charity while they get mad over it. I told the person to pick up by 4:15 or if the place delivering the new furniture arrives first, I will have to let them cart off the old bed (which they are supposed to do anyway, it is part of the delivery fee). However, I know that this person probably won't show up by then, she will have excuses, and then, I will end up storing it because I will feel too guilty to get rid of it. A neighbor asked for something today too which I did not want. I gave in. Does anyone else have troubles just saying no and feeling guilty and such? I need to lose the guilt big time. Maybe I need a good book on boundaries? Any suggestions?
no, I have no problem getting ride of what I don't want if they don't come and pick it up! seems like you let your family and friends (so called) run over you..... don't feel guilty, just tell them that you don't want to store anything.
No, I do not feel guilty over doing the right thing. Although I do not desire anybody to be angry, this is their choice. I have to do what needs to be done whether they like it or not.
I guess I'm a big meany, because I would have no problem having the company bringing the new bed take away the old bed if the person that wanted the old bed didn't show up to get it first. Of course I wouldn't like them being mad at me, but I wouldn't feel guilty, I would just feel a little annoyed they were mad for something that was so clearly rude of them to do in the first place. They would be in the wrong, in my opinion. They probably wouldn't ask me to do something like that again because they would find out I wouldn't be storing an old mattress they didn't have the courtesy to pick up when they said they would. I guess I just don't need that kind of persons approval.
There is a book out titled "the disease to please", by harriet B. Braiker It may help you out. Good luck.
want to know the truth, not me they can fly a kite.. can't live for others or you wouldn't have a life of your own. You can help others that is a different story but don't live around them.
I can understand what you are going through. Yes, I have the same problem. When we were getting ready to sell my parents home, I asked different family member if they wanted anything. Well, they all wanted some quilts that my mom made, they are still up in Elijah's room waiting to be picked up (that was in July/August) and some dishes, her sewing things, and pictures. They are all still here. I refused to deliver them and soon they will not be alvailable to them. I will never offer anything again.
