Husband won "the battle", and sent DS to a PS, that is actually 3 houses down the street and I like this. In a million years I would think that that down the street school would be the place where my kid would go every morning. I homeschooled him last year when he was at 4th grade. before that he was in catholic private school, and it was a disaster. While HSing, we didn't do too well, according to DH ( I thouight it was just fine, not greatest though b/c of DS's low motivation and effort). A month passed by, and I would say it is better than I thought, frankly. Much MUCH better than in private school, the staff and teachers are more experienced. Now - a question, I need your guys opinion, maybe because I am foreign and not as familiar with the system. Math teacher - 35yo female, who is also a baseball trainer. But question is: she chews gum not stop during class, educating small kids - IS IT NORMAL??? To me - no; no one doctor would be allowed to treat you chewing gum; no one news reporter would report chewing gum; no one singer will sign with gum in the mouth; I believe no one intelligent person whose job requires direct constant contact with people, would do that. It is NOT professional, or it is cultural? We had a meeting with the counselor of the school on their call, to update us how DS was doing at school, and I mentioned gum thing to her. She said...it was normal...? I am in shock. It is not like she is teaching in a bikini, but still - what a classy teacher. Another thing, last week she pulled his arm up, in a rough manner actually hurting him physically. That was done by her, because he failed to understand her and didn't rise his hand although by what they were doing he had to. I didn't like her handling him this way, and she also was angry, he said. But I am not sure if it is all normal, all it is something I have to address to someone. But to who? The counselor is her girlfriend since college they went together, she told me so. Your two cents, please, on gum and grabbing thing, I am puzzled. This math teacher will be teaching them up to 8 grade graduation. What a fun. He also asked her a question regarding he didn't understand something, and she said literally: and now answer my question, when you have a question, who do you have to ask, your teacher or your book. DS said: teacher. She said: wrrrrrong! the book! Wow, reminds me gestapo. His average is C- in math; he is not advanced, but he is a very smart, he just needs some help sometimes. We do homework together, he does it always perfect, and in class he is lost.
You are in the United States, correct? It's not exactly cultural, but gum chewing in North America is not usually considered a sign of low breeding, classlessness, or rudeness. As long as she can speak clearly and the children understand her, I wouldn't make an issue of it. She may have OCD-type issues, and this is how she deals with it. (Better than biting on her fingernails or smoking!) Ah, now this IS a problem. In my Canadian town, she should NOT be touching any child, period. However, different jurisdictions in the United States have different rules. Some US states even still allow corporal punishment (spanking). You need to find out what the rules are for your school. Did she leave any marks? Did you take a picture? Unfortunately, I think you are in the US, so while I know how I'd handle it here, I really don't know what your child's rights are in your town. If you are very concerned, perhaps you could speak to a Legal Aid lawyer? She's definitely mean! However, a lot of this will get easier as his English improves. My suggestion would be to advise him to stay out of her way, and bring his questions to you. Work ahead, if possible, and make sure he knows the material inside out and backward. If he can bring his math book home, teach him from that. Fortunately, math is one of those subjects with a clear right and wrong. At least she's not his English teacher, marking him subjectively. It's better, if possible, to try to get along with teachers. You don't have to love them, but you do have to co-exist. If you absolutely can't, or if she seems to be having a negative psychological effect on your son, then you have to look for another school or reconsider homeschooling.
She absolutely should not have grabbed your son. That is completely inappropriate. I would speak to the principal, not the counselor if she's friends with her. The gum chewing is annoying, but not horrible. Sorry he's having trouble. Just keep working with him, maybe you'll get another chance to hs him.
Some people also chew gum if they are talking a lot. I think it is supposed to keep their mouths wet? And she may be a smoker, so the gum might keep her calmer when she can't get her fix As for the grabbing.. I think it is totally inappropriate. And I think if you complain the ps will probably blow you off.
First, let me say that I was just thinking yesterday, "Where is Ivanna???" So glad to hear from you! Unfortunately, gum chewing by the teacher is probably a sign of the times here in the U.S. Our public school teachers often sport "muffin tops" (pudgy rolls of skin showing between the tops of their jeans and their shirts) Personally, I'd rather see the gum chewing than the top of their thong bikini. I would also take the suggestion of the other ladies here and speak with the principal about issues with his staff. It really is a staff behavior issue that needs to be dealt with. Start keeping a journal of the things your son is telling you happen in class. Sometimes we dismiss one or two incidents, but when you see more and more adding up in your journal, you will know the problem is real. Again, so glad to hear from you! Been missing ya.
Thank you for all the replies, ladies!:love: It feels so nice to have a friendly support! Brooke, thank you for your kindness! I miss coming here, too, but now when we are in PS, I drifted apart from this wonderful community. It is very refreshing to talk to you guys once again, Thank you. I was thinking to dismiss this particular grabbing event, and, as Brooke is suggesting, to keep dates and notes of the events that I consider being inappropriate, and when I have a handful of them, go ahead and bring them up to the principal. When I saw the math teacher for the very first time , at the open house night, I sensed that energy, the one that I can't stand myself. The energy, when a soul of a person is not present, but body and attitude only. My son said to me: mom, I don't like Ms. C., I don't know why - right after very first class with her. I believe he sensed the same thing - there is no goodness, no soul, a stone face and a lots of sarcastic attitude. Plus she is very tall has big bone, scary for the kids. She's done some other "strange" things, like borrowing a calculator to my son, asking him to take ONE shoe off in exchange. I thought it was humiliating, DS said it was weird and uncomfortable to wear only one shoe for the entire class, and he had hard time to concentrate being busy figuring out if he looked funny and if anyone at class was laughing at him. I asked the other mom if this was a normal practice, she said oh sure, she just wants to make sure that her calculator will go back to her at the end of class. I said, but why not to borrow DS's watch? Or a pair of shoes at last, but not one? Interesting, maybe she IS a smoker, and gum thing's helping her, thank you for this idea. It will help me as well, to look at this with ease. In our house no gum allowed. My personal belief is it is unhealthy (made of chemicals, and constant use linked to cancer), it is non-ethical and reminds me an animal like a camel who is ready to spit, and at last - the chewing gum is a noisy annoying to othes process. Whatever, if it helps her - let it be, I won't bother any longer. Thank you for explaining this to me. Regarding study with my son ahead of time, it is a great idea! I do have math book, from school, I got it in the very beginning hoping I would do exactly this. But the problem is, I still don;t get the pace they study math at. It is not according the book, that for sure. For instance, Unit one - operation with whole numbers. Simple. Yet, at the everyday math journal, where they do actual writing, the pages are divided into 9 squares, and in each square there is a task to be completed. So during Unit 1 (The whole numbers) they actually didn't operate with whole numbers only. They been doing square roots, operation with decimals, fractions and percentage. Now geometry is added, but Geometry Unit in the text book is at the middle of the book actually. One day I decided to clear it all up with the math teacher, and showed up right after school in her class. She was already changed into her baseball coaching cloth, and when I walked in, she looked at me like if she saw a cockroach. I started mumbling something about how come they have to do all this decimals and percentages in Whole numbers Unit, and she said: we already learned all that in 4th grade, kids know that. I said that DS was homeschooled at 4th grade, and we didn't do many of that yet. She just listened to me, didn't say a word, looked annoyed, didn't through any suggestions, nothing. She just listened to my mumbling. That "meeting" didn't go well at all, nothing was resolved. She actually didn't say anything to me, at all. Was not interested. I talked to the counselor about if my son needed some extra work on math - anything, but she said no. But there is a C- at the report card, as average from a couple of As, a couple Bs, bunch of Cs and Ds and two Fs. I hope for the best, and pray for the best. Homeschooling is not an option while I am married this man
That sounds like a good plan! Well, if she'd borrowed both MY son's shoes, my son could very well have forgotten to return the calculator and walked home in his socks. :lol: One shoe on is probably a better reminder. Also, the possibility of other kids noticing is a lesson to your son to always come to class prepared. Oh my, and here I was just thinking that I would buy myself some sugar-free gum to try and help remind myself not to chew on my fingernails! :lol: I wouldn't worry about trying to keep in lockstep with the class. It sounds like she's trying for a more holistic approach - everything together. So, just work through the book with your son, and figure that he'll hit all the topics eventually. Math builds on itself, so you really can't study the "wrong" subject. If you happen to be studying something he's doing in class, great! If not, just keep on studying and don't worry about it. Part of the problem here is that you've already decided you don't like the woman, based on her energy. People, in my experience, like to be liked. They can often tell when you don't like them. And if they suspect you don't like them, then they get hostile and sometimes even dangerous. Managing people successfully is key to defending yourself and your children. Smile as genuinely as you can when you see her. Make eye contact. Listen to what she has to say. Remind yourself that she's someone's daughter, and maybe she feels stuck in a job she doesn't enjoy. Don't go to the next meeting with your son's teacher alone. If your husband can't, or won't, come, then bring a female friend. Or even another parent from your son's class. If you have someone on your side, you won't feel so pressured and stressed. At the next meeting, throw the ball back in her court. Say to her, "I'm worried about my son's grades. What do you suggest? How can I support your efforts to teach him? Is there anything I can do to help?" It's HER job to teach your son. It's not your job to tell her how to do it. Good luck! People like to feel understood. They like to feel that you're on their side. Even when you're not.
Great point of view, Meg! I love your attitude and approach. You are so right, I didn;t like her first, then probably my son picked up my emotion; and the rest what we got. Thank you. And you know, I just went for a walk with my dog; and I had chance to think of why it all went tense, and so quickly. And I thought, hmm, where is my positive approach and allowing people be themselves? Then I started saying to my self: Ms. C. is a wonderful person, a equal piece of a puzzle called The World, etc. - and I felt so much better, and now I am reading your message, and feel even better. Now, go get that gum:lol:
