Do anyone elses kids get upset when they don't get it? What I mean is do they get emotionally involved in thier learning? My kids seem to hate getting things wrong, or not getting it completely the first time. I am not sure if I have taught them this or what..... I have allowed myself to make mistakes in teaching them and shown them that oops is okay. Today even I got upset when I skipped a step in precents and made a wrong answer. I went through it three times three ways got the same answer lol, the boys got it right I got it wrong, and they felt sorry for me getting it wrong. I felt humiliated lol. But now I am okay cause I know where I went wrong. I tried to use that with ds10 to show him that when we are wrong, it bugs us but we go back find where we went wrong and get it right the next time or two. anyway, what do you do when kids get upset about how they work or what they get?
I find that my ds4 is just like that he wants to do the same work his big brother does and most of the time it's fine but with him if he doesn't get the right answer and I ask him to look at it again he gets all teary eyed and starts whimpering when he talks and I know he's upset and nothing I say or do helps him. I just try to move on as quickly as I can so I help him to come to the right answer and then I make a big fuss over him getting it right and then we move on to the next one which I make sure is something he'll be able to get quickly. Usually it's just a minor thing but if he's too upset or discouraged we just stop altogether for a bit so we can play a game or something fun to get his spirits back up then we continue on.
OMG!!!!!! I thought MINE was the only one!!!! My son CRIES when he gets even one wrong in math (now that he is older, it sometimes is more a frustrated emotion than crying, but he still cries sometimes.) We have talked about how we learn NOT to do things when we make mistakes. We referenced Edison who stated he figured out 7000 ways NOT to make a lightbulb. That has helped a lot. But all my kids get worked up if they don't get it right, or can't figure it out. I feel so much better!
I have stopped giving grades - period.... My ds still stomps through the house and pouts it's rediculous!!
I don't think it's just a homeschool kid thing. My oldest did it when she was in her Dept of Defense school too. Now she didn't do it AT school but did it when she was home working on homework or would save it until she got home to "vent".
My dd6.5 gets teary when I mark something on her page. Even if it is only one thing. Her thing is she gets very confident and goes through the stuff to fast. When I go back over it with her and make her slow down she gets it. If she gets to worked up I let her go and play or something to relax.
My oldest gets like that at times. I figured it was a part of his Aspergers and now in reading this post I see that it can be just a kid thing. Michael is getting better at accepting that everyone makes mistakes and that we can learn from them.
In the past, Ems would get upset when she didn't understand. Now she does alright with it; unless it is math. She doesn't like to make mistakes in math.
Oh yeah, Zach is totally like that. Drives me nuts, but as he was that way when he was in school, too, I'm guessing it's just how he's wired. I also try to show him that everyone makes mistakes, but it just doesn't sink in with regard to his schoolwork. Do you think I'd be lucky enough to have this perfectionism extend to his cleaning? I'm longing for the day that I see him have a meltdown because he just didn't manage to get all the smudges off the mirror! ROFL
Just want to share a video that might help: well, not allowed to post links yet, so just go to youtube and look up The roses of success. Remember that song from Chitty chitty bang bang? Very encouraging!
Both of my kids are the same way. My ds used to cry when he was first learning how to write...he wanted his letters to be perfect. He can still be that intense about things. My dd hates doing anything wrong, school, chores, and even hates getting in trouble.
Ok - my electricity went out when I was posting last night - so we'll try again My son is like that. Pouts - stomps feet - any and everything if he doesn't get it or does poorly on a test. My daughter just cries and screams and blames it on her big brother picking on her and now her newest thing is that she is the smallest one in the family and she can't be expected to do everything (which cracks me up cause she is 1 tough cookie). My new solution. I am not giving them grades. I will be keeping some grades in my grade book - but not giving them to the kids. They will just get smilely faces or something like that. I'm hoping to take the pressure off of them to get good grades which was always an issue in PS. Since I'm not required to give grades or turn any in - I'm not going to (which is a huge mindset thing for me too) Oh - the kids though HAVE asked for report cards so I'll make something up there I guess.
My oldest is a HUGE perfectionist. If she misses ONE question on a test she goes into hysterics! I don't know how I've taught her performance based learning, but I'm desparately trying to unlearn it! I don't even grade her tests until her schoolday is done. If I grade one while she's in the midst of her schoolwork and it's not perfect, it ruins the rest of our school day.
I don't even get as far as grading... this is as he is working through his work. If he has to repeat a problem because its a number off, or he forgot to carry in multiplication which can set you off a whole lot, things like that get him so emotional that HE could be WRONG.... I want to break that in him or when he grows up his designs in Architechture may suffer! lol, Actually perfectionism is somthing in myself I had to break, I learned back in my 20s to leave something undone on purpose. it was SOOOOOO HARD! but I think now I have conquered it for the most part. I mean look at my typos, I can see each one but I don't go back and fix all of them lol!
I think it's a kid thing, not a homeschool thing! When I was teaching I had kids in my classrooms that were like that. My oldest was like that. My youngest is a little like that with math. She doesn't cry or fuss, she just quietly pouts when she gets things wrong. Then she feels she doesn't like and doesn't do well at math. I try hard to reassure her that she's very good at math. Not a lot of 10yo's were doing pre-algebra! That's why we're doing R&S from the 7th and 8th grade books next year. It'll reinforce what she's learned, and hopefully will help her feel more confident!
I took this up with Jeannie's evaluator, because Jeannie thinks she's bad at math. He said the kids might be afraid of letting mom down if they can't get something. They may be afraid mom will think less of them. It could be mom's reaction when a wrong answer is gotten is too strong for the situation. It could be mom forgets the child is still learning, and so reacts as though the child should 'already know this'. He said it's important to look at all sides in this situation, and see where a change could be made. He was NOT putting down mom as a teacher, but speaking of how easy the line gets blurred between teacher and mom. Does that make sense?
Becky it makes perfect sense. I have been guilty of thinking Sam should know something math related. I caught myself doing it! I stopped, took a deep breath and explained again.
I find myself having to do this with Alison. She is more hands on where Natalie is more mental. I have to adjust for each of them. Sometimes mom needs recess.:lol:
THats what we were working on Deena, but he has done it before, and done fine, he was just having a day about it because big brother tried to teach him a different what he called "easier way" to figure it out. IT confused him and after big bro left for his daily outing ds10 and I went over the proper way to do it and he told big bro later that mom taught him an easier way! lol
