feel sorta bad, but.....

Discussion in 'Other Conversation' started by mommix3, Jul 20, 2014.

  1. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2007
    Messages:
    3,362
    Likes Received:
    2
    Since hubby got laid off a few weeks back, both my boys have gotten some pretty amazing jobs making more than I do AND also working more hours. They have agreed to help take up some of the slack while we wait on hubby to either get a new job or get disability. We don't have a lot of bills. Our home is paid off and so are all our cars. We just have the basic living expenses. Aside from cell phones it's all a necessity. But I feel bad to take their money.. At the same time they need to get a view into the real world. I hope this isn't for a long while and is done quickly so that we can get back to supporting our kids instead of them supporting us :/
     
  2.  
  3. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2004
    Messages:
    24,128
    Likes Received:
    6
    WOW! Families pull together when needed. And you are blessed with boys that are willing to help as needed. Congratulations for raising fine young men!
     
  4. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2013
    Messages:
    788
    Likes Received:
    0
    My dad worked at General Motors and had Hodgkin's Lymphoma in his 40's. My three older brothers helped out a lot during his lay offs and the time he was taking chemo and couldn't work. Families do what they have to. It's all part of the deal.
     
  5. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2013
    Messages:
    788
    Likes Received:
    0
    Also...what Jackie said! What great parents you guys must be to have raised such awesome young men! I can't say my brothers were always cheerful about their contribution, but they handed over most of their pay so mom could take care of bills and buy groceries. They felt they should.... and they did....maybe not without complaint...but they did it. Today, they look back on it and feel really proud of supporting the family. Your boys will, too.
     
  6. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2009
    Messages:
    6,102
    Likes Received:
    11
    It's wonderful that they can do that and that they want to. Take it and praise them for it, tell them how grateful you are for the help.

    When DH was in high school, he had a job. He is the older son, with two sisters and a little brother. His dad was injured and hubby's income was all there was for awhile. His dad honored his contributions to the family by having everybody wait to eat supper until DH sat down at the table first. That was always "the man of the family"'s position. It was not mentioned, but DH noticed. They had always waited for daddy to sit down first, and now daddy was waiting for oldest to sit down first. A simple thing, but it was noticed. Of course, his dad told him many times how proud he was of him.

    When DH had his accident in 2000, DS was doing homeschool while I was working. He didn't have a job or need to, but he was able to be home with his dad and do for him. He helped him transfer bed/wheelchair/potty chair/recliner, he did things for his dad that he later said he'd never seen himself doing for another human being. He cooked, did laundry, cleaned up. It surely saved us from having to hire somebody to do those things that were so necessary. As DH got better, of course, he began to be able to do stuff for himself, but DS still did house stuff while I was working.

    Let your boys practice being men, and praise God.
     
  7. Danielle

    Danielle New Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2014
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    0
    My mother had major health problems and my father was medically retired from the Coast Guard after 20 years in the service. I had to work, and it taught me a LOT about life. It was really hard for my dad when he went through a period of unemployement (nobody wants to hire a 50-year-old man just out of college when they can hire a 23-year-old instead). God saw us through, though, and it actually brought me a sense of contribution to be able to pick up some of the groceries for the family. Chances are, your boys don't feel as badly as you do. God can use this time to train them to be good men of character. :)
     
  8. TendinButterfly

    TendinButterfly New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2014
    Messages:
    61
    Likes Received:
    0
    I agree with everyone else here...we never had to contribute anything that major growing up but we did help our patents sponsor a family reunion where the only cost people had was their gas and hotel rooms...to this day we look back in that occasion with pride :) ...at the time however we were a teeny miffed that they were getting a super cheap vacation ...but to this day .. It's the only family reunion they've ever had...all that to say... One day they will look back and realize just how awesome this time really is! Chin up...you've raised good men!
     
  9. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2007
    Messages:
    3,362
    Likes Received:
    2
    Thank you all for your words of encouragement.. Both boys are now working.. One gives us money all the time, the other has gotten only one partial check and used it to go to church camp... Older son has been working resurfacing parking lots in the heat and has been traveling seeing a lot of the state. He will be going to Colorado in a few weeks to work and then North Dakota.. HE BETTER START CALLING ME EVERY DAY!!! I worry about him, but he will be 18 in just a few days.. One of my main concerns is that he won't finish High School. He' a hard worker, but school is NOT his thing. He's more of a hands on kid and try as I might, no method of schooling worked for him. He only needs 6 more credits to graduate PLUS a passing grade on ALL his exit exams and the STAAR test. I can't force him to finish, but I'm strongly advising it..
     
  10. shelby

    shelby New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2009
    Messages:
    2,339
    Likes Received:
    0
    aww, its good that they are willing to help you guys out during this time! Its a blessing!
     
  11. vantage

    vantage Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    1,888
    Likes Received:
    2
    Congrats that the boys are working and helping. How is your Husband. Did the tests bring any news?

    Perhaps you could buy a good GED prep manual and encourage your son to study it a bit. In some states you can get a Diploma if you score high enough on the exam. Then if he takes even some college the HS diploma becomes sort of a non issue.
     
  12. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2007
    Messages:
    3,362
    Likes Received:
    2
    Vantage, My son has decided he WANTS to finish school. SO he's working a new job and going to school. He gets out at noon with the program that he's enrolled in and he's planning on going to the local community college to learn how to weld. He should be done with school in a few months. I'm hoping that he sticks with it and follows through. There's a lot of things going on right now that has his attention. Only time will tell and unfortunately, no matter how much I want him to do something, It's ultimately up to him. :/ This is where it gets really hard to be a parent. Watching them make mistakes and hoping that some of them don't alter their lives in a negative way. ((sigh))
     
  13. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2004
    Messages:
    24,128
    Likes Received:
    6
    Good for him!!!
     
  14. 2littleboys

    2littleboys Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Messages:
    3,353
    Likes Received:
    7
    I think it's great that they're helping out. The older a child gets, the more that child needs to contribute to the family. Think back in time when families worked together on farms. The goods produced would support them today, and the land that passed down to generations would help them in the future. Families don't rely on each others' efforts as much as they should anymore, it seems. I helped my family financially in high school, and I paid the major chunk of my school/living expenses when I left home. :)
     
  15. vantage

    vantage Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    1,888
    Likes Received:
    2
    Welding can be nasty work and take you to nasty work sites. On the other hand, it can be one of the fastest ways to get to a good paying job without going to college.

    There are some specialty types of welding that bring in very large dollars per hour. If you son were to continue acquiring the certifications for these over time, he could get some very high paid work.

    One example would be Busch Beer plants. They were very very good paying jobs for welders who welded the lines etc. They had to make perfect welds so garbage does not collect in them. These guys had great union jobs with high pay and benefits.

    Ship yards can be a nasty work environment and many others as well. You have to start somewhere and get experience however. I would imagine that the oil and gas industry in the Dakotas would have some good jobs.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

Total: 70 (members: 0, guests: 66, robots: 4)