Katie, two weeks ago I went to a grieving pet owner workshop. Even after 15 months, I still mourn my Sparky, so I went there hoping to get help. Here's some of what I learned- Let yourself mourn. Cry if you need to, talk about the pet if you need to. Keep something that was theirs, like a collar, a toy, etc. Make a memorial to your pet, and display it where you'll see it every day.Plant a tree or garden in honor of your pet. Write a letter to your pet, telling it how much you miss it. Maybe do this every so often if you need to. Find the number of hotlines that help grieving pet owners. There are a bunch if you search online. Choose a night and light a candle for your pet. Maybe light the candle at the pet's feeding time instead, so that time period- feeding time, a time when you'd sit with the pet- will be filled with activity. Don't be surprised if you hear your pet, or see it out of the corner of your eye. The longer you had the pet, the more likely this will happen. You became entwined with the pet, spent time with it, and it became part of your normal routine. This 'hearing' and 'seeing' your pet is your mind's way of protecting you over the loss. The speaker talked about one man who woke up at 6, dressed, went downstairs, grabbed his dog's leash, whistled for the dog, and opened the door to take the dog out. The man was so used to this routine, that he actually forgot his dog had passed away. He just was so used to doing that every morning for so long, it became ingrained. I did things like that after Sparky died, lol. I'd drop food on the floor while making supper and nearly say 'Sparky! Come and get this, please!' I'd approach the door to unlock it, and think I heard him jumping up on the other side. Even now, I'll head home from somewhere and think I need to hurry so I can get him out to pee. I also hold his ball or touch his leash. It's still hanging near the door where I kept it. I sometimes pretend he's still here when I look at his things. Until recently, I would even say goodnight to him. The speaker read Rainbow Bridge at this workshop, which I thought was pretty stupid and heartless for a veterinarian to do to a group of mourners. Two people left the room when they heard the title, and two more women had to turn away and look at the wall. Dumb poem. I hope something I've shared helps you, Katie.:love:
Katie, I have a dalmation, she was in every respect my first child. I had tried for 4 years to have a baby, and got no where. I went to the pound and fell in love with her sister, who had black spots. I went home to think it over and woke up the next morning early enough to go to the store, buy her everything I would need and went to the pound to buy this dog that I thought was then one ment for me. I arrived and was told the dog I loved had been adopted the night before, but her liver spotted sister was still there. I went back and sat on the floor and talked to her. She layed there and listened to me. I took her home.. funny thing is she was the right one for me. That day my period was due.. it never came... I was pregnant! "Beana" has been my faithful companion. She was there for me through the abusive relationship with my ex, she was there for me when I found my freedom and my now husband and even she quickly fell in love with him. She loves the kids, even though I was warned over and over that dalmations were not good with kids. She follows my hubby all over the place... even back and forth for hours as he mows the acres of land we have here. She is now at least 11 years old! She has grown a cyst on her side that is now the size of a golfball.. and since it doesn't bother her we haven't had it checked because I'm terrified that she will have to be put down. Every time she sleeps too sound I panic and tears start to well up because I'm so afraid she has left me... in fact I have a nice stream on my face right now just thinking about it. We call her our couch cushion who goes out to pee, because unless we are going outside or someone has food she is on the sofa. We can leave early in the morning and she will sleep all day, never once make a mess in the house even if we don't make it home till late at night (although if we can we call MIL to come let her out). I don't know how to live my life without her by my side... she has been my companion most of my adult life. I am sure she has had a good life with me.. even in it's rocky times. I know she loves me and my family, and I know that in her own way she thanks us for all we do for her. I too am not what many consider Christian... but I was raised to believe that we are all God's creatures, and why on earth would He not accept all of his creatures in heaven? I even think that when plants die they go to heaven as well... how else would he decorate the place :love:
I am sorry about your Sparky! (((( )))) Wow, thank you Becky! I thought I was going crazy when I thought I saw her this morning and thought I heard the jingle of the bell that was hanging from her collar. She had a routine with me every morning and I didn't realize what a huge part she played in my life everyday from brushing my teeth to putting on my make up, she was right there. I walked by her dish this morning and said, "Meow, meow" like I always did just to hear those words. I am missing the little things like how when she smelled something she would dab her nose gently and she would put her lips up in the air as though she was saying she wanted a kiss. She would sit in the window seal between 9:30 and 10am to catch some rays and she would take her paw and touch me when I walked by. I can't believe she is gone. I've had many pets but have never taken their passing as hard as I am taking the passing of my little Princess. I want the hurt to go away and the tears to stop, I feel so overwhelmed, I just can't explain it. (((( )))))
Well, for a few days, you go to the window from 9:30-10. Let the sun shine on your face for those 30 minutes, and think of her. Press your hands on the sill and feel her presence there. I still have Sparky's dishes, and I even washed out his last bag of Beggin' Strips and packed it away with the dishes.
(((( )))) You ladies are really helping me a lot and I truly appreciate it, more than you will ever know. I have not had dry eyes for very long the past two and a half days. We had a cocker with the same type of tumor that you describe and they took it off and he lived for another 4 years, he was fine. Take your precious blessing to the dr right away so they can remove it and you can have your precious pup with you for a very long time. Sounds like your pooch is a blessing like my kitty was and Becky's Sparky was. ((((((((((((((((((ladies)))))))))))))))))))
Katie, I'm so sorry! i am crying reading these! I've lost pets before. But what gets me is that my dd got a tiny kitten from the Humane Society. She was sick and we had to give her medicine, but she recovered and wormed her way right into our hearts. We've had her the shortest time of all of our pets, but she's the sweetest thing, and dd and I just love her to pieces! So as I read your story, I thought how dd and I would feel if anything happened to her kitty. We'd have a really rough time! Seems funny, cuz we've only had her a year, but there's just something amazingly special about this kitty! So, I can understand where you're coming from! I agree, let yourself mourn and cry and remember, and work through it! I'm praying for you! (((BIG HUGS!!!)))
All animals are gifts but sometimes a pet or two really find a special place in the family. I was looking over some pictures on my camera when I came across some pictures of Handsome. I became teary-eyed. I took these pictures the day we had him put down. He was such a blessing to us and seeing his picture made me miss him all over again.
Here are a couple pic of my Princess, one when she was a baby and one on her cat tree that my ds made for her. She brought so much joy to us, I'd like to share her beautiful pictures with you. (((( ))))) ((((( ))))) She fought against all odds as an orphaned kitty at only four days old, it is hard to wrap my mind around the fact that she could not overcome this. Enjoy her pictures!
Thank you Deena. I am glad your little kitty is okay. Was she just sick from the worms or have other illnesses?
OMG Katie, what a beautiful kitty!!!! I wanted to pet my screen she looks soooo soft and fluffy!!! She loved you so much, she looks like a happy cat.
I like to find unexpected pictures of Sparky, because I find it comforting. I actually dreamed abut him a few nights ago! I was in our old house- which made no sense!- and he busted in the door, ran up to me, and jumped up just like he used to. I cupped his cheeks in my hands and said 'Sparky! Where on earth have you been?? I missed you!' Oh, his tail wagged a mile a minute! This dream was such a comfort to me, because I got to see him move and jump up and wag his tail. And I felt his face! It was just nice..
Oh Becky, I am so glad that you saw Sparky in your dreams. That is really neat. (((( )))) I just put the links to my Princess' pics in my siggy so anyone can take a peak at her if they like. You all are a very special group of ladies! You really come to someone's rescue when they need someone to pull them up by their boot straps. You all are kindred spirits! I really love the stories that have been shared, it gives me comfort. I really appreciate you all. (((( )))) Becky, if you feel up to it, can you share a pic of your Sparky? And anyone else who lost a beloved pet, please share your pics, I would love to see them. (((( ))))
Thank you! She was fun to rub because her fur was so thick. She looked especially cute from behind because her ears were so precious.
I wasn't up to doing much yesterday. I was going to dry mop the floor but burst out into tears when I realized that when I sweep up my Princess' hair, it will be for the last time and couldn't do it. Dh came home from work and was trying to be helpful. He preheated the oven and put in the frozen pizza. After a bit we started smelling something, he looks in the oven and discovers he left in the cookie sheet and pancake pan with a rubber handle. We all know what an oven can do to rubber. Anyway, after the house filled up with toxic rubber fumes and ruined both of my pans.................. He decided to make another pizza since that one looked pretty bad and smelled bad. The second pizza finished cooking so I took it out of the oven and attempted to cut it.................... Ummmmmmmm, ya hafta remove the cardboard! I think we were all out of sorts with grief. Interesting dinner last night.
Grab some of that fur and put it in a ziploc bag. Just Monday I found a few of Sparky's hairs in a book I found, and I stood there and petted it! Somewhere around here I have his puppy teeth, too.
Sparky is BEAUTIFUL! What a precious pup! Thank you Becky for sharing Sparky with us. I still have Princess' bowl of food sitting where she liked them. I noticed there is a fur ball in the bowl which I will save along with any fur balls I sweep up. I haven't dry mopped since Sat so my floor is needing it, just not ready to do it yet. I only cried once this morning!
