Just curious if I'm the only one who doesn't have that one special friend that they can be crazy with.. Or just talk to for that matter.. I'm REALLY missing having that.. Especially with all that's going on in my little world.. Hubby's great at listening, but sometimes I need to vent about things that he just doesn't get because he's,well,A MAN.. LOL! And sometimes I need to get away from it all for an hour or so.. It's really hard to not pick up my phone and text or call my friend.. We had a falling out and we are done.. It was a toxic friendship and I tried so hard to make it work, but it just wasn't happening.. We had a GREAT time together.. I could be myself and I felt comfortable just sitting there with her in silence if we needed that.. But the moodswings I couldn't handle.. I honestly think she is bi-polar.. Totally hateful one minute and fine the next.. Just weird.. Liked to get into my kids business since her kids and mine were friends.. She was actually a CAUSE of fights between them.. Last straw was when I was in the ER with my son last week and she had sent me a text a little bit earlier worried about my son and saying she was praying for him.. Then she sends an ugly text the next minute.. Just WEIRD..This was the THIRD time we had fought and JUST started talking again after 5 months. I had enough.. I don't feel that I was wrong, but I feel REALLY bad about the way I handled it.. I told her to leave us alone and to not contact any of us again.. It was all drama ALL the time with her.. It hurt like heck and I know it hurt her too.. I don't make friends easily so I was so happy when we hit it off as easily as we did.. Looking back now, I feel like she was not honest with me and kept herself hidden until this last time.. I feel really bad for her.. Everyone avoids her like the plague.. They say horrible things about her and won't have anything to do with her.. Just sad.. I would LOVE to have a friend to hang out with and talk to about every day life.. Someone I could encourage and they would do the same for me.. For now, my family will fill that void.. Although, it's a little hard to get encouragement from a 12 year old who rolls her eyes at everything you say.. LOL Guess I'll take what I can get and pour all my love into my home.. That's where it's supposed to be anyway,right??
Oh my word! Sounds like you're describing one of my closest friends (who I am no longer speaking to either because of the toxicity.... fine one minute and then a total mood shift). How to deal with it? I have no words of encouragement other than to say when I could finally let it go and not look back, then and only then was I able to move forward. I miss not being able to share everything but there's a reason and a season for everything I guess.
We've had to drop family members like that. Seriously, drama. all. the. time. I'm sorry you had to lose a friend though. It's hard on us when we care for toxic people and even enjoy their company at time. I'm very lucky that I do have friends. Though, I must admit, I wish I had a strong Christian friend close by to hang out with. My 2 closest, long-time friends aren't devout Christians. One was raised in church but isn't a practicing Christian, the other is an agnostic pan-sexual....
This will sound kind of sad, but hubby is my only real friend. I don't trust many people, I have been hurt too many times in the past (my supposed best friend from middle school on was cheating with my ex for over a year before I found out... burned me big time!). I don't have family, I have cut them out of my life (couldn't handle the drama and being told that I wasn't anything because I'm only a housewife). It gets lonely sometimes but I live. I do have a couple of people I talk to online, and I am thankful for them.
I know this isn't the point of this thread, but I wanted to say--what a blessing you are to your family because you are a housewife. That is a full time job which can be done much better if you are actually there full time.
I have usually only had one best friend at a time in my life growing up. I am an introvert and I don't need tons of outside activities to keep me going. Well, unless it is quilting with friends. Right now, I would say that I have two really close friends and a handful of other friends. I only get together with my close friends once or twice a month usually, but that is OK. The other friends I may do something with here or there or just talk on the phone or something.
Me, too. It seems hubby and oldest daughter are the ones I hang out with most. I have a few women I am friendly with but not close enough to actually hang out with. Either our kids are friends or we know each other through other people. I had a few women friends that were great about 10 years ago (!). Our families would go on vacations, out to dinner, hang out til late at night. It was really great-best friends I ever had. One was much older than me, whom I loved for her wisdom and ZANY, crazy personality. She passed away from skin cancer 2 years ago. I think I am now resigned to the fact that this is the way its going to be. I keep busy and I don't think about it too much or cry about it any more. It's just the way it is.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hubby and I have resigned ourselves to the fact that it's sort of us against the world. He is like me, he has some friends that are mostly acquaintances that he works with or says hi to when we are out and about, but really we don't seem to "click" with others. We have tried to become friends with other "families", but even if we are alike in many ways there are always a few things that are different enough to make us too different.
Thank you... Yes, that's the way we are, too. We don't really 'click' with others. Sitting back and analyzing the circumstances, we realize that many times its that other people are too different from us. Being a homeschool family, living on one income, there's alot that's different from most people. We don't have a seemingly unending supply of money with which to buy the 'toys' others have. We aren't in love with the public school system or on a PTA, HS sports or Little League. We don't take seperate vacations to Hawaii from our children, and on and on. Sometimes we seem to hit it off with a couple and do a few things with them, then its "meh". We have little to talk about.
I can relate to everything that everyone has said. I have been burned by a best friend well over 10 yrs ago and I can't bring myself to have that ONE best friend again. There are times I wished I did, like when I got married and had to choose my bridal party. My soon to be daughter (8 yrs old) was my Maid of Honor and my entire bridal party consisted of my nieces who were all under 9. I am an introvert, and I generally try to avoid people. I have a few ladies where I used to work (I just fill in now when someone is out sick or on vacation) but we have ZERO in common. I moved to a new state 3 yrs ago and where I live everyone works. Add being the outsider that homeschools, I have nothing in common with anyone.
I'm just far too weird to have anything in common with possible friends. I don't fit with other homeschoolers. I don't fit with public schoolers. I don't fit with Christians. I don't fit with non-Christians. I had a pretty good group of friends before I moved from Springfield, but distance makes it difficult to maintain those friendships in a post-phone society.
apart from my facebook friends I really don't have anyone to talk to . Its frustrating at times. Especially since I don't drive.
This is totally us. We were just talking not long ago that we are done trying to find that other family we "click" with. We have each other, and really there is no one I would rather hang out with than hubby and the kids anyway.
I TOTALLY know how you all feel.. I don't fit in with this group, don't fit in with that group.. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one to feel like this.. Sometimes it seems like everyone has a huge group of friends to hang out with.. My facebook wall is full of pictures of FB friends getting together and doing things.. Of course I'm never invited.. Not that I would go anyway.. I feel like I'm not good enough half the time.. Working on that because I DO know better. But an invitation would be awesome every now and then.. In the grand scheme of things, I think that I do much better for my family when it's just them that my attention is focused on.. I have one lady at church that I "bug" almost weekly.. She works in the office and I go in and spend an hour or so chatting with her..She's mentioned getting together but it's never really happened.. I REALLY crave a good christian friend though.. In God's good timing I guess.. And the fact that I won't invite anyone to my ghetto house doesn't help.. I cringe when someone mentions that they know where I live..
Too bad we all don't live closer together, I would love to hang out with you and some others from the spot!!!
Feeling a little guilty for saying this, but up until about 2 years ago, I didn't feel the need to have friends.. I had my hubby.. Now he's so drugged up on pain meds I barely get to talk to him.. He works his butt off all day and comes home and crashes.. Try to talk to someone who can't even keep their eyes open.. GRRRR Sometimes it gets REALLY lonely.. He's just trying to do the best he can.. It gets so hard sometimes..
God has blessed me with some really great friends, but I don't live close to any of them. None of us have really made friends since moving here a year and a half ago. It is getting lonely. We've always had one or two really good friends to have game nights and such. I don't fit in with anyone here-no homeschool group, church, kids' activities. I don't understand the attitudes, and they don't get me.
