Just thinking out loud... I ended up in a debate with two of my closest friends last night, and realized that part of the reason we were clashing was because we grew up in two entirely different decades. Both of them are older than me. When they grew up, they were told that being a mother and wife was the highest goal a girl could aim for. If a girl chose to work for a couple years before she married, then she could be a nurse, but not a doctor. She could be a stewardess, but not a pilot. Girls learned home ec, not shop. My friends felt stifled and frustrated. So when they heard about Lego's new products for girls, all that pink made them see red. Me, not so much. I grew up in a house where a girl was expected to be a doctor NOT a nurse. A pilot, NOT a stewardess. Jeans were valued over dresses. Baseball was a better game than softball. In the late seventies and early eighties, the overwhelming message I got from media and culture was that boys set the standard of achievement. Everything traditionally female was devalued, and "girly" was an insult. A nurse was just a woman who had failed to become a doctor. Or kind of a weird guy. It took me years to come to terms with being "just" a housewife. I agree with my friends in that I don't want to see toys segregated by sex. Legos should be for all children. However... I also don't want to deny girls pretty pink Legos if that's what they want. And I don't want to teach my children that Lego trains are Good, while Lego cakes are Bad. That's simply not true. There must be a happy medium, somewhere in between. Where girls and boys can grow up with real choices.
I agree. When I was growing up, I was told that I could be anything I wanted to be, even President. When I played, I was always Roy Rogers, never Dale Evans. (I just turned 60, btw.) I think kids are being allowed more choices today than ever, but I still think it would give most dads pause if their sons ASKED for PINK legos, as compared with their sons just playing with their sister's pink legos that are mixed in with the red, blue, green, yellow, white, black ones... More parents (I think) would buy their daughters the "regular" legos than would buy their sons the pink ones.
I'm not sure it's generational. I've had similar debates with my sister! We were raised by a mom with serious Feminist issues. My sister became determined not to become "some man's servant" just because my mom resented her own homemaker role. I, on the other hand, went completely old-school. In my head, I wear pearls and heels with my apron! And I'm totally okay with the gender divide in my home. My boys play with nerf guns and my daughter loves to shop. So what? I know that is completely un-PC and it drives my sister bonkers! I really believe it's more about personality than generational, but I could be wrong. It's an interesting issue to ponder.
Hear hear. I am all for pink legos merely because Star Wars, Harry Potter and Ninjago really aren't that appealing to my daughter. She loves to play lego with her brother but feels like some other colors, pink, purple and so on would be a nice addition. Maybe a few more girl mini figs too? Just saying.
It's somewhat generational, if you look at the bigger picutre, like MegCanada explained. But I also agree with Leissa, that personality plays a big role. My parents were pretty neutral on the subject, I was allowed to be a tomboy, but my mother also worried about me learning to cook. Little anecdote: We were in hotel shuttle bus, going to airport. Bunch of pilots, and flight attendants board the bus with us. I point to one of the male pilots and whisper to the kids, "look, that's a pilot, see his uniform?". The lady sitting RIGHT next to me turns and says to my sons, emphatically, "And I am a pilot too. See, I'm also wearing that uniform".
Had a boy cousin who when he was small wanted a Barbie doll for Christmas. He got it, too! He grew up just fine, no gender identity confusion or anything, wife, kids, etc., all just fine. He also had trucks and tractors, toy guns, and all the other masculine stuff. Personally, I always wanted a BB gun but never got one.
I used to be somewhat of a tomboy. I loved climbing in my tree in the backyard. I wasn't very athletic, except for a couple of years of gymnastics. I think I shied away from athletics because of low self esteem though. I much prefer a physical job over a desk job. I used to want a Hot Wheels racetrack. I never got one. Even now I am not a girly girl in all senses of the word. I don't wear any jewelry- none. I have about 4 pairs of shoes. I have one dress and that only because of occasions that come up rarely- like a fancy dinner on the cruise 5 years ago and my nieces wedding last spring. Other than that, I don't wear dresses. If I were in better shape, I might like to wear a skirt with low heel shoes sometimes, but then again maybe not. My only dress shoes I have had for YEARS and they have a very low heel. In other ways I am very girly. I am very emotional. I like to quilt. I like to bake occasionally. I love to read. I know some men like to read, but it seems like more women do than men. Anyway, I think that pink legos are fine.
Cabsmom, I think you and I would get along IRL just fine! I don't own a dress; the last time I wore a skirt was at my wedding to DH nearly 30 years ago. I also was a tree-climbin', cow*boy* playin', cap pistol carryin', baseball and football playin', tomboy. And then I met DH! AFTER a marriage, child, divorce, and several degrees of black belt. DH said he was attracted to me initially because I'm a "unique individual". (Is he diplomatic, or what?)
My husband and I met in a small factory (in my sexy steel-toed boots ) and married less than a week later. After a couple weeks of seeing me in "real life", he asked if I EVER wore pink. :lol: I grew up when you did, Meg, and I totally was expected to become what I was capable of academically. I chose my life and I have had to continually battle contentedness and mourning for what I "might have been", especially now that my brothers are very accomplished (one is an airline captain and the other holds his doctorate in education) and other women my age are well-established in their careers.
My son has a baby doll he's had since birth, a gift from my oldest the day he was born. It was her doll. He's dressed as princesses ( and firemen and boy stuff too), he plays Barbies and Polly Pockets. He's a boy sandwiched between two girls. He eats, sleeps, and breathes Legos, Star Wars and GI Joes, too. But, he can be so sweet and sensitive to his sisters. He's not embarrassed about it either. he's testing for his black belt in Karate in March, Hal his class is girls. Now, on the other side of the coin....my girls play trucks, cars, Legos, GI Joes, etc... I think ti goes to personality, too.... I don't like stereotypes, but the truth is most of the time girls like girls things, and boys like boy things.
I sometimes have to remind myself that staying home with my daughter is the best thing for her (and me ) and that I can start my career when shes older. I try to remember that my degrees will still be there in a few years, and though I may be behind women my age in work experience, I was able to stay home and be the best mother I could to my child. But getting over the feeling that I'm "just" a stay at home mom can be VERY difficult. Also, my daughter is very girly, loves dresses, make up, and playing with dolls. But when she plays with her boy cousins, or with the neighbor boys, she has no problem keeping up with them and being just as "boyish" as the boys. I think it is a lot easier for a girl to be a tom boy then it is for a boy to be more "girlish".
Something I've found fascinating, watching my own children grow up... My daughter has never had any particular interest in either girl OR boy "stuff". She had plenty of toys, but she never really played with them the way other kids do - she was reading from about two and a half (sometimes to her stuffed animals), and other than that she just liked to build things with Duplo and marbles. Mostly she read, or played make-believe. ("I'm a lamb." "I'm a sleek black cat." etc.) So that's personality, for sure! My son, meanwhile, enjoyed his toys more. And kept breaking them! But he's never really cared if it's a "boy toy" or not. I've always wondered... Is it because he was home schooled? Because he had a big sister? He played with the "girl stuff" just as much as he played with the "boy stuff", and has favorites from both categories. (Still does, actually.) But... I don't think that's as much personality as it is the fact that he's growing up in an open society. In a different era, I think he would have steered clear of the "girl stuff" - he has a very fine sense of social nuance. I wonder how my children will perceive their place in society, when they're my age? My daughter's been aiming to be a doctor since she was three, while my son still has no idea what he wants to do.
Yep! This, exactly. Growing up, the message I got was that if you're given a gift or talent, you have an obligation to use it to the best of your ability. I hated that, especially as I had never asked for any of it. Even made me resent God a little, when I was a teenager. Now, however, I understand that a lot of the pressure came from my mum's fears and insecurities. It's become a joke now - if I braid a bracelet for myself, she's right in there trying to figure out how to turn it into money-making opportunity for me. :lol: I can ignore her now, thank goodness.
