I have been blessed to not experience that in our lives. I can sure imagine the difficulty if I had hostile input about it all the time. (((hugs))) Vent away. You are right and they are wrong. You are a good mom and you are loving your children in the very best ways possible.
Tons of wonderful input, thank you so much for the reinforcement plan, I knew I could count on you guys!
I am so glad this post was here. My family is so against me hsing my kids it's not even funny. To them a single mom should be at work f/t, the kids in ps learning the same as everyone else. Well I refuse to have that happen, we tried ps for 2 years but it is not a good enviornment for my kids, all 3 of which of special needs of one type or another. Plus I refuse to let my kids suffer simply because my marriage didn't work, why should they lose both parents for the almighty dollar. Instead they are getting an education suited to them, a mother who is around (they even go to work with me in teh afternoons), and have that security that all children should have, they are not ones that will become another number in the stats about single parent homes, or the stats about how special needs kids do in school. I do wonder though, it was mentioned that it was up to the father to deal with others questioning hsing. In my case, their dad is against it which I don't care as he hasn't bothered to see them in almost 5 years. As a mother of course I get defensive about my reasons, as I know I am doing the right thing, and can't stand when someone in the family says otherwise (My sister flat out told me my children would become a burden to society and be useless is I hs'd them--she is a ps teacher--actually she teaches adults, junior high level courses because they flunked out or dropped out of the ps system-you'd think she'd know better). Any ideas how to tell them to buzz off in a polite way without getting defensive and losingmy temper which sometimes happens with my family because they are very cruel and judgemental towards me.
Brandy, you definately are in a different situation than most! Of course, since you are divorced, I don't consider you as being under your husband's headship. (There are probably some that would disagree with me on that where the kids are concerned. Maybe it would depend on how active Dad is int he kids' lives....?) Anyway, I would still let them know that the issue is NOT open for debate. Any time they bring it up, refuse to discuss it. Just remind them that YOU are the parent, and feel this is in the best interest for your children. Again, if you are doing it for religious reasons, you can clearly state that, too. As far as your sister goes, you would think she has SOME INKLING of how inept the PS is with what she teaches! Eventually she will see that your kids are better educated than the adults she deals with!
Brandy I feel for you. Being a single mom is hard enough. I know I was one for a while. My dd10 is from my first marriage but her father is never around. My husband has been in her life since she was 4 and she started calling him daddy when we got married and his is her daddy in every way. My ex is against me homeschooling her too but I couldn't possibly care less what he thinks. He lives two hours away and he never ever see her or calls her. In my book he has no say so in anything regarding how she is raised or educated. He also owes me over $5k in back child support - he has no say in anything. I commend you for choosing to hs your kids. Being a single mom is tough. You must be a wonderful caring mom.
Brandy ((((hugs)))). I really admire what you are doing. I imagine it must be hard to be a single homeschooling mom. I agree with the above. It isn't open for discussion. Say something like " we have already discussed this once and I do not want every conversation to be about this. It is my decision and I am doing what is best for my kids." You can even tell them that you will limit contact with them until they can show a better attitude. Your ex would need joint custody to even have the right to an opinion in this matter. He would need to see your kids and pay for your kids to have that right. IMHO
Hi Brandi and all....... I think that it is wonderful that you are doing that. I applaud you to the fullest and am really inspired by you. I mean that. It puts things into perspective for me in my own life. I know you asked for any polite ways to back people off from the whole homeschooling thing, but If someone could be as blunt as your sister was, I wouldn't worry about being polite except to say the proof is in the pudding.(?? I've never used that expression before) It's a fact that homeschooled children do better than ps and private school students. Be encouraged, Shara
Well said Shara, I agree. Sometimes you just have to say things weather people want you too or not. I just get tired of walking on egg shells every time we are at a family gathering, so glad we don't go anymore.
It is funny to me how relatives who are not interested in my kids at all suddenly want to ask me questions now that we are homeschooling. The same thing has happened with a few people at our church. We know each other but aren't really close and now they are wanting to ask me about my girls and what we are doing. So far nobody has been really critical but I could tell a couple of retired school teachers I know didn't like it when I told them what we are doing this year. Beth
Beth, I have that alot I think but maybe I am wrong I don't they really want to know what you are doing. I think they want to make sure they are getting schooling that is how I feel when those types of people ask me out of the blue.
My parents went to a family reunion in Texas when Rachael was 5. My retired-teacher aunt asked Mom, "Jackie isn't REALLY going to keep that little girl home from school, is she?" And Mom jumped in with both feet. "Yes, she is, and I think it's WONDERFUL...." and let her have it right between the eye with both barrels. And that aunt's oldest daughter is now homeschooling HER three kids, lol! Her son is only a month older than Rachael, and they started homeschooling in 1st grade when they moved and there were no openins at the Christian school, and have been HS'ing ever since!
The one thing I have learned from past experience, especially concerning homeschooling, is that most people, not all, go as far as we allow them. I am not a Dr. Phil fan but the one area I agree 100% is we teach people how to treat us by what we allow. I'm sure I shared this before but when I started homeschooling my SIL couldn't wait to call me on a regular basis to make sure Ems was functioning properly. She would call and if Ems answered the phone she would drill her with questions she thought she should be taught in school. She warned me that she wasn't going to be properly socialized and tryed to convince me to put her public school. She thinks because she is a teacher that she knows what is best for my child! Hmmm! Handsome had to talk with her and he told her that she was no longer allowed to talk about homeschooling with Ems unless she was going to build her up in her education. He told her it is the choice we decided was best for our daughter and he didn't want to hear that she was calling me to convince me to put her in ps. She backed off although she did not like it. My MIL was the same. She couldn't believe we would do something, as she said, "You are so selfish. How could you do anything so stupid?":x Eventually she came around as she began to understand more. Emma calls her up to recite poems she memorized or to share her spelling list. My MIL even sends supplies to help out. She also admitted to me that she was against it at first but now that she understands she thinks it is alright. I think you have to nip it in the bud asap. I have come to the point of not even getting uptight when people ask why I homeschool. Usually, that is! My sister is a teacher as well and supports me completely. She said if she had children she would homeschool without hesitation. She can't get over what goes on in the schools and what teachers are expected to teach in the classroom.
Emma's#1 Fan, that is wonderful I am so glad they turned around, but I don't ever see my family turning around no matter how good the girls do, or whatever they become of themself when they get older.
Kris, that is to bad. Maybe when your children become famous geniuses and are world renown, maybe they will realize that it was because they were homeschooled!!! Patty
Patty, that would be nice, but I don't think they would say it's because of homeschool they would find something else. Thats the way they are.
