Have you had the "Santa" talk with any of your kids?

I had the "Santa" talk with my 10 year old the other night. He was actually crying because he was so confused about it. He wanted to believe, but his friends were saying he was so "stupid" for still believing in Santa. So I sent his little sister out of the room and told him the truth. I told him that "Santa Clause" is actually mom and dad, and there is no jolly elf who roams the sky on Christmas Eve. But I also told him that Santa Clause is based on the story of St. Nicholas who WAS a real man. I also told him that we don't ever say we don't believe because that can ruin the experience for his younger sister. He was cool with that. Then we talked about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy who are Mom and Dad, and God and Jesus who are real. He felt much better afterwards! Frankly I'm thrilled he believed until he was ten! I don't think I made it to 8 as a public school kid.

So have you had the "Santa" talk with any of your kids?

Edie

 

Dd (10)"knows" but we will not confirm or deny the fact that Santa is Mommy and Daddy. She is still planning on writing him a letter this year. I am stretching it out as far as we can. She knows we are the tooth fairy but the part of her that still wants to be a child is fighting with her logic since she knows magic is not real. Ten was about the same age her sister was when she figured it out (recognized the handwriting).

 

Our unofficial grandson told me today that Santa is not real. He is 7.

 

I have had ds (8) tell me before that someone was saying he wasn't real, but our response is that everyone is allowed to believe whatever they want. If you choose not to believe in Santa, then you will be choosing to not believe that he will bring you presents. I know I was in second grade when the truth was revealed to me. However, even years later, I was still the one who could not sleep (even though I did all of the shopping with my mom and knew what each gift was). My sister was 6 years younger than me, so I got to live the thrill of it long after I knew.

 

We don't do Santa, etc. and never have. Even so, my oldest has always questioned how his friends can believe such non-sense, while my youngest wants to believe even though he knows it's not true. He's very big on imaginary friends and creativity and all that stuff, so it doesn't surprise me. My oldest is the logical one.

 

Guess I was never a good enough actress, or cannot convincingly lie. My kids never bought in.



I was not disappointed.

Santa is actually very symbolic of what is wrong with America. He is in some regards, a false god of materialism and works.

 

We used to do the Santa thing but what a great victory when we didn't have to continue that lie anymore (why we ever chose in the first place, I'm not really sure). By the time I told my youngest son (one Christmas morning), my oldest two "knew" and I can't say that my youngest was disappointed. I forget the circumstances around telling him on Christmas morning but I was upset about something and decided there was no time like the present to do so.

In my heart, I will always believe in Santa because I believe in my parents but I'm so relieved that I don't have that pressure to spend astronomical amounts of money to give like this fictitious Santa would and the gifts the boys receive now are more meaningful than ever before.

 

It depends on how it is done. We do Santa as a someone who reminds us of what the true meaning of Christmas is. Santa brings 3 gifts to remind us of the gift God gave us and of the wise men who followed the star. So even though we may watch movies or what not about Santa dd will always tell us that his job is to remind us about Christ.

 

I would absolutely LOVE to spend my Christmas morning in a soup kitchen/homeless shelter serving a warm meal to those who are less fortunate than we are...... it would really put it all into perspective. How often do we take for granted that we have a roof over our head, clothes on our backs and food on the table? THAT, for me, is what Christmas is about.... the spirit of giving... even if it's only time.

 

We never did the Santa thing either. It sure made my life easier, and the kids don't get any less excited about Christmas. However, Santa was never banned from our house. When they were little, I just never really said anything about him. They still had exposure from TV and well meaning people that endlessly ask what Santa was bringing them. They never really showed an interest except for my oldest son in public K. I'm guessing it was the peer pressure, but he suddenly started talking about Santa and what Santa might bring him. Hmm... It didn't last, though.

I'm not sure at what age I discussed it with them, but when I did, I just told them that Santa was like an imaginary game that some people play, and that even though we don't play the game, we shouldn't tell other people that Santa isn't real because it would spoil the game for them. This has worked well, and they don't seem to have that snooty attitude that makes kids want to tell everyone else that there is no Santa. It's really a non-issue for them.

Now we do the Tooth Fairy (Don't ask me why, because I have no idea! lol) I'm not sure if my oldest really believes anymore or if he just plays along, because I can't really tell. I'm a very BAD Tooth Fairy, because half the time I forget and then end up having to come up with some convincing story about the Tooth Fairy being so busy this time of year or something. One time I forgot three days in a row, because my youngest son won't say anything. He kept checking his pillow and keeping quiet. I saw a commercial which reminded me--doh! So I quickly did my thing and then my husband asked him what the Tooth Fairy had left him. He was sitting on the couch, a little bit grumpily and said, "The Tooth Fairy jipped me again." We just about died trying to hid our laughter.....

 

Nope. No Santa here, either. I truly dislike the whole concept.

I never flat out told them there was no Santa, but I never once lied to them about him. I told them the story of Saint Nicholas (the real story, as far as we know it) and explained that some people believe he is still alive and working and now called Santa. They older two never once thought that could be real: sounded like a crazy, creepy fairy tale. lol. My 3rd son wants to believe, I think. He asked me this summer if Santa was real and I said, "What do you think?" He said, "I just don't know."

The part that makes me angry: My mother is a die-hard anti-Harry Potter Christian because 'magic is evil.' Aside from the fact that she still owns a bunch of Disney films (oh so much magic in those), she is irked that I don't "do Santa" with the boys. Either pretend magic is evil, or it isn't.

 

We've never done Santa and my kids know that St. Nicholas was a real person. It has worked out fine for us and we LOVE Christmas

 

I think the jig was up in my house by the time they were 4 and 6. My kids are either pretty cynical or just really un-imaginative. I think dd was trying to believe just for my benefit, but she didn't really buy it. I wasn't that upset that they knew, I was trying to figure out why we even started it to begin with. DD is 12 now and says she is never going to do Santa with her kids. She says it's wrong to lie to your kids. I have to agree. But I did notice one of my kids asking a little cousin what Santa was bringing them, so at least they are sensitive enough to not ruin it for someone else.

 

We did not do Santa. My youngest really wanted to believe, though....so we didn't fight it, we just didn't lie.

I know many kids don't have a problem when they learn that the tooth fairy, Santa, etc. weren't real, but I did. It caused me to doubt that God and Jesus were real because how could they be if I couldn't see them. I also got really annoyed at my parents/grandparents and others for lying to me....and the lengths they went to for those lies REALLY bothered me as I got older. My husband had a very similar experience. So we decided not to do the Santa thing.

We watch movies with him in it, and we talk a lot about St. Nicholas, etc. I also stuff stockings - but not because of Santa, the kids know that I'm the one who does it. They joke about how the Tooth Fairy is WAY too forgetful!!!! LOL

It hasn't seemed to hamper my children's enjoyment of Christmas at all, and they are under STRICT orders not to reveal it (unless asked directly then they don't have to lie). So far, so good......

 

We don't do the Santa thing. Oh boy did I get some not so nice comments from family about that decision. Apparently, I was ruining their childhood. Whatever.

They do watch Christmas movies with Santa. To them, he is nothing more than a fun story character.

What is funny is when other adults try so hard to make my sons believe in Santa. They look at me as if they are doing me a favor. It's honestly hilarious. It happened at the library last week. My oldest was having a conversation with the librarian and she tried her best. I had to quietly remind him to please not say anything about Santa around other children because we don't want to accidentally ruin the game for them.

 

thats the sad part........ Even if your children don't participate in the makebelieve events, I'd hope that you might share with your children that other families do, and its respectful to not mess with the idea, if they don't want to indulge in the makebelieve, then just not discuss it in front of other kids.

 

that was nice of you to remind your son....... every family believes different things.

 

We told our daughter last year at her questioning it. She was really upset even though she said she thought so. kind of having a bad aditude about it for a long time, We went to a Christmas party this past weekend and I reminded them that there are sitill lots of younger kids attending that believe..... so not to say anything about who was dressed up passing out gifts.

I think weather you don't do it from the begining or if you do and the kids find out at some point, its still ok to watch movies, write letters, or what ever...... just for fun, and even if you choose to avoid it all together, thats fine too but don't get down on the families that enjoy the experience. Its all about respect I think,

 

We haven't done the Santa thing. I've always presented the Santa story as a story from someone's imagination. The Twas the Night Before Christmas was highly influential on the details in the Santa myth. I prefer to keep real things real and pretend things pretend. We enjoy pretending around here, but we've distanced ourselves from Santa because the Santa character is presented as a supernatural figure that is all-knowing. For young kids this can be confusing especially when I'm trying to teach my children about an all-loving God full of grace that offers goodness to people whether they are bad or good.

 

We had the conversation with our oldest son this past weekend and I did feel like I ruined his childhood. He had asked and we had decided that when he asked we would be honest because we don't want him to feel like well if they lied to me about Santa and Tooth Fairy etc then they're probably lying about God and Jesus. And my husband told him that in our conversation. We also made sure to remind him that even though he knew the truth he should keep pretending for his sisters and other kids who didn't know yet.

He thought Santa was real because he knew the story of St. Nicholas and he thought the tooth fairy was real because "she" has left him notes in the past but he didn't believe in the Easter bunny for even a fraction of a second. :lol:

We never make Santa a focus in this house. They get one small gift from "him" and the rest is from mom and dad anyway.

Still he was sad to hear that Santa wasn't real but he hasn't seem ill effected since. And the whole thing came about because a neighbor who clearly doesn't do santa didn't have the courtesy to remind her kids that some families do and she told my son that Santa wasn't real.