Hello, everyone! I'm new to this forum and in dire need of any suggestions that may be out there. This is our first year to home school, although we did finish out the last five weeks of last year @ home. I guess you could say that we are amateurs. I have taught school in the past but haven't been in the classroom for several years. We have our two youngest children, a sophomore (who's doing 11th grade work) and a freshman, at home. Our DD (the sophomore) is like our oldest and is very self motivated. Learning just comes so easy to both of them. Our youngest, the freshman, on the other hand, is quite the opposite!! Learning just doesn't come easy to him. He doesn't have a LD but it just takes a little more for him to get it. My frustration is this: Our DS has been up since about 8:30 this morning. It's now 3:40 and he's completed only two lessons; a Bible quiz & an algebra quiz! My husband and I had to be out for the morning and part of the afternoon, but it's much the same even when we are both here. We've tried telling him that if he can get his work finished for the week before Friday, he can have the day off/a long weekend. I told him that if he wanted Monday off (Columbus Day) that he'll have to finish the work that day ahead of time. It doesn't look like that will happen, so he'll be the only one having to work...well, with the exception of his dad or me who will be having to help him! Suggestions for those a little more "seasoned" that we are would be greatly appreciated.
Just what you're doing. How well did he get his work done before you pulled him? Did he always procrastinate or was he diligent? I would stop the "by Friday", and give him a DAILY list of what you expect him to accomplish. If he plays around, then whatever evening activities he has planned (hanging with friends, soccer practice, etc.) doesn't happen. And he doesn't go to bed until it's done. OK, so if that means you need to sit up with him until 3 AM, then so be it. As soon as he realizes you mean business, he'll settle down. Once he does, you can probably cut him some slack. There have been occasions when my 15yo wanted to do something during a school day (not often!). I ask her what she needs to get done, and when does she plan on doing it. As long as she can answer me when she will do it AND I KNOW SHE WILL FOLLOW THROUGH, I am OK. I think it's important that they learn to prioritize and plan their time.
Thanks, Jackie! He has never been a straight A student like his older brother & sister. However, he did get through before we would pick him up in the afternoon and it was the same curriculum that we're using @ home. I realize that a couple of his courses are a little more difficult than what he's had but it still should not take him ALL DAY to complete five or so lessons! I appreciate the input!
Then I would say he's just testing you. As soon as he realizes you mean business, he'll be back to normal.
I agree with Jackie on the list thing, this works the best with my ds, he is only 12 but he follows a list that I type up for him or write in a planner. I just tell him what classes, any special notes he needs to do and he checks it off. Ihave a time read, and time finished initial thing for him so he can see how long it took him as well. It also helps to have in the list take a break and---- eat some pizza, soda and banana, or something like that, for a bike ride, for to watch a certain video that reinforces what he is learning... that sort of thing, so its like a film strip thing. If you set up times he is allowed to break in his list with suggestions, time set for that break and sign in and out on the sheet that wil keep him accountable. Tell him it is like a job, hesigns in and out for breaks, he signs in and out for work time. You could maybe give him a goal towork to. We had dd (11th) last year doing a goal of a certain game she wanted, or the equivilent in fabric store purchases. she had to stay on track with her school work, no faltering for more than a sick days worth here and there. She got days off for good behavior as well when I saw she was no longer slacking for days at a time. My oldest, he was the one I had to chase around to get his work completed, stand in the room and make sure, up to 8thh grade, then he took on a new effort to complete it and went to his own room to work. If a course is hard, or if you are not there, the teacher at the school my dd is now going to ( run like a home school) he has a white board for them to put the subject that help is needed in, and the time it was needed. Then he comes as available to help them individually. This would work at home ( we did it last year) if you use a small whiteboard on the fridge, your dd couldd also utilize it. The thing is they keep going to the next class if they cannot get past that problem. Then come back to it when you are available. It works for us! Hope it helps for you! Tmom
TM, I like that white board idea! Fayhte, especially, will have a problem with a math problem or something in English. I won't be there or available (or she's upstairs and too lazy to come down, lol!), and she'll forget to ask. I find out the next day when it wasn't completed. (She did it a lot with your Hines Feet study, when she simply didn't want to think it through :roll:, but got better as the study went on!). This might be a way to remind her she needs help.
My 13yo ds has had very similar habits. I switched to Switched-on-Schoolhouse. It has been great for listing assignment due dates. This way ds is responsible for completing the days listed assignments. Just having the daily list has made a world of difference. It keeps a calendar for the entire year. He knows that if he gets behind it will eat into his summer break.:shock: Nothing motivates like the reality of missed deadlines.
Thanks, everyone, for your help! It is greatly appreciated. We've already looked @ tomorrow's lessons & discussed any areas that are potentially problematic. He has a youth event @ church tomorrow night, so he's been told that unless he finishes in time, he won't be able to attend. We'll see how it goes tomorrow. Hopefully, we'll have a better day than today!
This is also the curriculum that we are using. I really like it, as do they. We're going to have to hold his feet to the fire, so to speak, until he realizes that he's got to do what needs to be done during the day in order to have his evenings free.
I agree with Jackie, keep on him and show him you mean it. Yes its hard but once they get it, it will be alot easier for you all.
I really appreciate everyone's input! Friday was a better day. They had an event that afternoon that he had really been looking forward to, so we told him that he had to finish or he couldn't go. He actually finished early...go figure! LOL! Today on the other had was not as good. It's 7:05 in the evening and he's still working. He thought that if he shut his computer down before supper than he wouldn't have to finish. Much to his surprise, that was not the case. I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie with the family if he finished. His response was, "I've got to finish tonight?" I told him that was his only option. So, he's back in there, computer rebooted and working at it again! Hopefully this will only take a few days or a week at best for him to realize that he HAS to finish each day! My other question is this: Do any of you have a set time limit for your high school students to complete a subject similar to public school? I wonder if I should implement something like this for him? Thanks again for all the replies! You guys have been a great help!
This is just a thought, but I have a son very much like yours. Work bogs him down and not because he can't do it, but because he doesn't like it, it is difficult, or boring, etc. Maybe there is a different style of learning that he would like. I myself have been searching for the different philosophies-relaxed, classical, Charlotte Mason, unschooling (not what I originally thought it was), The Mooore formula, traditional, etc. I know that for many people traditional doesn't work or at least in the way it matters, but it was all I knew and by golly I was going to stick to it. But now I am leaning towards Charlotte Mason and living books for some stuff and some "traditional" for things such as math. I have also realized that some things aren't necessary. For example, diagramming sentences. I loved it, my son hates it. But if he can learn parts of speech and how to write well without it-then so be it. Now this is my way and no one can tell you how to do things, but you may want to search out the other styles and see what it is about.
for high school I actually did at first then let my dd run with it, somedays she did tons, some she did little. We used SOS so it was easy to see if she was getting behind. She took a look at what she had for the whole year, I had her figure out how long it would take too. The year before that, in Freshman year, I had figured an hour per main class. MAth, Biology, World History, Bible LIt ( this was in one class but the wh, and b were done during an hour or so period and the lit was freetime as she loved the reading. I did not let her work longer n each class because that was long enough, and anything left over I would decide if she could save to tomorrow or do today after school as home work. I also let her have a half hour break after "school hours" to snack, breath and do chores prior to working on home work for an hour. I do not believe a child -- even a teen--- should have more than on hour of home work each night because that will only foster a resentment on the subject at hand. So.. that said I would tell him he has set hours to work on school, so many days a year and it had to be done. He is old enough to know if he is doing it, and if he does.. reward him! If he gets ahead let him get a prize, a movie ticket a whatever he is into music game? whatever. Time on computer during school day even! Give him 3 strikes, if you catchh him not doing his school work during school time, he has penalties, he gets three reminders and then they take effect.
Great ideas, TeacherMom! Thanks so much to everyone for the input. Today was another good day. I had to work, so my wonderful husband was with them. My ds txt me a little after 3:00 to let me know he was finished for the day! I made sure to make a BIG deal out of it bc I believe that accentuating the positive goes a long way. My dh and I have been making a concerted effort to know the night before what he has the next day. What subjects, whether its a lesson, quiz or test and how many Q's each one has. This seems to help in that we can head off any potential problem areas before he ever gets started. I like the rewards ideas. He loves having a movie to watch in the evening as a family (we love to go to the library and "rent" FREE movies!). This is a great incentive that if he finishes, we can watch a movie. Speaking of which...we're about to start one so I need to sign off! Thanks again, everyone!
Moitivation is tricky, especially as the kids get older. What worked last year will not necessarily work this year. What works for one child doesn't necessarily work for the one coming up. I think it may be God's way of keeping us in a place of trust when we realize we don't know as much now as we did "five years" ago... My experience has been that for some reason, boys far more often than girls seem to go into a slump. Maybe its hormonal or gender based... What I've seen help was including a mentor in a young man's life, maybe someone from church that you trust, who can speak into their life and be direct, and give them a kick in pants (as well as encouragement) when needed. It's strange, but the same message delivered by someone other than the parents can produce the desired results. Something else to consider would be getting your son a physical. There could be an organic source to your son's lack of productivity. Curt Ideally, we want our kids to take more and more responsibility for getting their work done (maturity). And so, when we find we have to get
"Sure you can Jackie! they just have to be BIGGER stickers! haha" No kidding... when my kids were younger we "scheduled" incentives which they earned for completing so many pages in their books. What started out as an occasional trip to Dairy Queen evolved into getting Odessy CD's and from there, clothing I think. Finally, one day one of my daughters finished 35 days of daily grams in one day because she wanted something and the lights turned on. I knew the system had to change or I'd be broke... Glad my youngest is a senior this year... Curt
