OK, so I am at my wits end and need some advice from all of you. How do you get your kid to do his schoolwork? My 10 yo son just started doing his 5th grade year this month and it has been like pulling teeth. We started doing schoolwork at 8:00 this morning and he still isn't done. I have tried everything from taking things away to talking and encouraging and nothing works. I don't know what else to do! This has been going on for a month now I am getting so frustrated and my husband is talking about us having to stop homeschooling. That is not at all what I want but he is tired of seeing me in these battles. Anyone have any advice or words of wisdom to share. I will gladly take them. Thank you so much in advance. Rhonda
I don't have any advice, but I know EXACTLY what you are going through. Been there done that with my boys. Ds15 went back to school this year, but last year was HORRIBLE. 5 years of homeschooling and he did what you are describing the WHOLE time. Ds13 has done it too. I'm hoping that with ds15 being gone during the day we won't have this issue with him this year.. My hubby was tired of hearing it too. I posted about the SAME exact post you did here. LOL.. Good luck. Angela
I don't have much advice, except maybe to mention that perhaps a little change up could help? Like maybe start a little later, or swap some curriculum around, or just give him a list of what needs to be done and let him have until a certain time of day to have it done? I don't know.... all these roosters around here are getting to be handfuls though! Big hugs to you!!!
I agree with Pecan grove change up what he does.. it seems to me that when my ds was that age and things got to be a struggle I decided to totally flip out one day I developed a secret weapon.........................................................................................................................I became a sub! That is when Mrs. Slipskirt came to visit our school. ( her name describes her attire.) She had wild hair like Miss Frizzel and talked with a new fangeled accent and was really just bazaar. She had the kids doing school work under the table, from the back of the book to the front... sitting upside down to work and all kinds of crazy things. She began being my alter ego when I needed a break from the routine or the kids needed a less demanding me.. it also worked to get them doing more work because Mrs slip skirt never allowed them to slack, she had one child running laps around the yard for missing a spelling word, another one doing push ups, whatever hit me as a silly thing to do she would make them do, and they HAD to do it because I was the sub! She just had the excitement that I wanted to have but since I was teacher mom I could not do it. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING do not break character! You have to believe you are your alter ego for school hours. Okay so now I have let you in on my little secret weapon. If that does not appeal to you, you can try to set up a system of if then, or a rewards system, or just plane give him the list if he works till tomorrow to get it done oh well. Just my few cents worth, hope it helps!
I love the substitute teacher! That is a cool trick! I agree about switching up the routine. We've never really adhered to a strict schedule here. I more or less let the kids guide what we do when. If I were to guess, I'd say maybe your son wasn't thrilled with the curriculum -- is it a particular subject or really all of them? My kids (and I) have never found a curriculum we really truly like (except math - Life of Fred), and I've never tried to do school with a set amount of work or number of problems or whatever. It probably wouldn't work for everyone, but I would just try different approaches. I'm not saying don't set goals or that you should be open-ended in when you want to see results, but give yourself permission to chart his progress in other ways other than, "you need to finish 100 math problems in 2 days" or cover 6 pages in whatever book. The important thing is that he's learning, not that he's done a set amount of busywork or paperwork. I have relied a lot on oral/narrative proof of progress. If my son can explain his math concepts to me or my daughter can "teach" me her biology, I feel comfortable saying they are ready to take a test or move on. Hang in there. If he's only been doing this a month and he's always been good about doing his work in the past, I wouldn't worry yet. I know you said you talked to him... has he explained why he's having trouble? Is it tough to concentrate or does he dislike the book?
How about having him earn his lunch, snacks and dinner? This completed assignment is a lunch ticket... These two earn a snack... And if the rest of the family is eating dinner while he's still finishing up, it might motivate. Timers help my kids stay on track too, but they don't motivate like food.
Wow all wonderful ideas. May I add that sitting down a talking to him straight about life goals may help as well. At 10 he should be getting an idea of what he would like to do and focusing on preparing for that. It's never to early to think of the future. Talking openly and candidly about what is the issue will solve a mountain of issues. Perhaps he is feeling like it's too much work. Maybe he needs a change up as someone suggested. Perhaps he is feeling lost in the work and needs more one on one. And perhaps early puberty is throwing him off his game. Boys get more hormones around that age and become more into themselves. Talking will definitely help to clear the air. Hang in there this too shall pass.
Sit down and chat with your son. Tell him there are two alternatives - school or homeschool - but if he chooses homeschool he must cooperate. Then ask him what is good about homeschool and what is not. He will tell you he likes this book, but doesn't like another. Let homeschooling be a partnership and let your son (and not state standards) be your guide. Explain there is a legal element to homeschool, but what you do is flexible. Then reduce his workload so that you finish what is set every day and he feels he has achieved something each day. It is more important that he feels a success than a failure. You are training the heart first, and educating the mind second. BTW If your child does choose school, let him go. Often homeschool children are more motivated after 6 months in school. One of my sons fought me every step of the way and every day I asked the school or homeschool question and he vowed he'd never go to school. Then one day he said he wanted to go to school, and he started in 10th grade and did really well. It was totally the best for both of us.
IMO you and dh need to sit down and determine the course of action together. If he is not doing the work at home in all likelyhood he will not be doing the work at school. If you are not both united nothing will work. Dh needs to sit down with him and lay out some school rules, not from you but from dh. At this age fathers need to start really being involved with a boy's education. Dh should then be checking in with him on a daily basis, he does not need to be the teacher but ds needs to know that you two are a united team. If you develop the rule that he does not get to do certain things before his school work is done then you need to be consistant. It may mean he misses events or sports or whatever he likes but eventually he will get it. This is not about getting the work done it is about teaching responsibility and that when you have a job you have to finish it no matter what. All that being said I would also have a joint conversation between dh, ds and yourself about the curriculum. What is working well, what isn't and see if you can find out if ds is bored, confused or just lazy. Believe me I know this is hard, I have been there with sd. Good luck and I hope it works out well.
