Hi, My son is only 16 months old, so I have a few years before we really dive into the homeschooling, but I am pretty proactive and I like to research everything ahead of time and have a really good idea of what to expect before we get to the age where we have to start. I am finding that very little people support my decision to home-school my son. In fact, many people react very negatively with the idea. They tell me I am dooming my son to be anti-social and how they learn so much social skills in public school. Now I am not one to bash public schools, to me each parent should do what they feel is best for their child, but I was a little taken back by the negativity and the attitude that I am actually setting my son of for failure. I tired explaining that home schooled children can be quite social if you take advantage of joining home-schooling groups in your area, by enrolling them in sports/activities, and just by giving them a well-rounded experience. It seemed though, no matter what I said, the same response always followed; "don't condemn your child to being socially awkward for the rest of his life". Now I am the last person to be pressured into doing something I feel is not right for myself or my family, but it would be nice for people (mainly my family) to trust me and know that what I want to do is what I feel is best for my son. The only one who supports me 100% is my mother (which I am so thankful for), but her kids (me excluded) had a very rough time in public schools so she is pretty anti-public school anyway. She feels that, as long as we can afford for me to continue to be a SAHM, then I should definitely home-school my son if its what works best for all of us. I guess my question to you all is how did/do you deal with the negative comments when you tell someone you home-school your child. Is this something I am just going to have to let roll off my back? I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation on how my husband and I decide to raise our kids, but it really does stink when you have very little support, and a lot of ppl telling you that you are wrong. A few details about me. I am 31, mother to a 16 month old son. My husband and I are childhood sweethearts and got married 4yrs ago. My husband is in the US Army (military police) and is currently on his second deployment to Afghanistan. This is our first deployment with our son so its been very different, and very difficult. Since we are military I have met a lot of families who home-school their children. I use to work as a lifeguard on the army post and we would have programs for the home-school kids where they would come to the pool prior to it opening and have swim lessons, safety days, etc. There was a group of 30 kids and it seemed to me that group did a lot of field trips with each other and all the kids were very well behaved (as much as their age group allows hehe). I look forward to learning as much as I can about the world of home-schooling. My husband still isnt 100% on board, but he is with me that Connor will not attend public school. He is leaning towards Catholic school. Hope everyone had a great Easter (for those who celebrate it) and an overall great weekend. -Jessica
If your husband is concerned about a Catholic-centered school experience, look into Seton's homeschool program. As for the comments ... it's human nature to defend who you are and what you believe, even if what you know to be true isn't, in fact, true at all. When everyone around you has been involved in PS their entire lives, and then someone decides to HS, it sends a message that their own education wasn't good enough. To defend themselves, they have to pick apart your decision. Ignore them. When people see results, they'll stop with the comments. Read these: http://goybparenting.com/?page_id=28 http://www.sahero.org/articles/nothankyouwedontbelieveinsocialization http://www.homeschoolnewslink.com/blog/?p=629 Embrace the oddball lifestyle. Soon, you'll see that you're not the oddball - they are.
Welcome! So glad you found us early on in your journey. I'm so glad to hear you have your mom on board. My mom bawled and bawled when she realized we were actually going to do it. In a way, I'm glad she did. It gave me the best window into why people can react that way. And like 2littleboys said, often it is because they feel that your decision is saying something was wrong with the way they did things. I'm happy to say that my mom is now my biggest fan of homeschooling. If anything, prepare yourself for the onslaught of compliments from complete strangers about how well behaved your child is and how easily he can strike up a conversation with anyone of any age. Again, welcome!
Welcome! You could take them to a homeschool convention. That's where we first saw confirmation that our decision was a good one. You could print out all kinds of essays and blogs and articles and things that confirm that homeschoolers are better educated and better socialized than "the norm" for their age group. You could check out books from the library about the good results of homeschool education and college prep. Or you can just "pass the bean dip". That's what we call barely acknowledging that they've said anything at all, and changing the topic of conversation. "I'll certainly take that into consideration. Here, have some bean dip." or "That's an interesting point of view. Would you like some bean dip?" or the inarguable "We feel this is what's best for our family at this time. Have you tried the bean dip?"
Since you are so proactive and looking to make this a great opportunity, I would say seek out other homeschooling families now. Yes, your son may be too young to participate in many of the activities, but what is to say you can not set up playdates with the younger siblings? This would give you an opportunity to surround yourself with others that have a similar mindset as you. This will help provide some positive input into your journey ahead even if the negative comments continue. Just remember that you know why you are on this journey and each family has to do what they feel is right for their family. Welcome to the Spot, and good luck on your future educational decisions.
Thank you all for the warm welcome. I never thought to look for other home-schooling families and set up play-dates with the younger sibs of HS kids. I will also check out those links you posted and look into any conventions in our area. I love the bean dip analogy! My MIL seems to be the one who is the most against the HS idea. She begged me not to do it b/c she didn't want to see her grandson become 'socially strange'. I admit my face got red with anger b/c she totally dismissed the whole idea and treated it as I was going to socially harm my son. But your are all right, I guess it does challenge how they were raised and how they raised their children. I never meant it be a knock against how they raised their kids, I mean I was put through PS too. I know once my father's side of the family finds out they will be just as critical (and probably more rude) about our decision. I look forward to learning a lot more about HS and the positive experiences (and negative too...I am sure its not all sunshine and rainbows all the time )
As Linda said, pass the bean dip!!! (Do a search on here, and you'll find the article. If you can't, let me know and I'll find it and link it for you!) DO NOT argue with them. This decision belongs with you and your husband. YOU are the ones making it. Your family, his family, friends HAVE NO SAY in it. Do not discuss it with them, do not ask what they think.
Welcome!!! This is our first year home schooling, and I received the same response that you have from your family. I just want to share a little bit with you, and I hope this may help you in your life. The most hurtfull coments came from my SIL. Our daughters are the same age, and my SIL would rip me and my daughter apart for my choice to home school. (Just want to say that my daughter is very polite and well manared, while my neice swears, yells at adults, and just last week slapped my SIL in the face, she does all this with no consequiences!) So after many nights crying to my husband, I came to realize that each hurtful comment is mainly coming from the other persons hurt feelings and insecurities. And it is never my intention to hurt those around me that I care about, so I DO NOT talk about my daughters education and what we are doing with anyone besides my husband and my sister who is my biggest advocate for home schooling. I have found that once I stopped talking about home schooling others lost interest in telling me how wrong I am for making this choice. I hope you find strength to ignore others comments and go with what you know and feel is right for you and your family.
The important thing is to make a firm stand the first time around and do not make excuses. Do not debate with people who want to debate homeschooling. They can't argue with themselves. If people ask an honest question, give them an honest answer but do not defend your choice. You do not owe anybody an explanation for your choices. My SIL felt it was her right to make sure we were properly teaching and socializing Ems. Thankfully my Handsome put a stop to her comments.
Wow! What great advice! I had a lot of the same reactions from family members when we decided to homeschool this past year. I have learned let them speak, don't argue, as it makes no difference to them, and just know that you are the one responsible for the decisions you make for your family. It is interesting to see that most of the people who were against the decision, now understand why I made the decision to do so. My son who was always in trouble at public school is now being challenged at his level, and has stopped getting into trouble. I have heard many comments about how he has calmed down and really matured. He is not afraid to start up a conversation with anyone about anything, and he loves to learn.
