Hello ladies! I have a simple question. How many presents are too many for each child during your holiday season? My daughter is much in love with lalaloopsy so I liked them on facebook. I recently saw loads of pictures posted to the lalaloopsy site of ladies showing their "stash" of presents for sometimes just one child! I'm not talking about 3 or 4 dolls and some accessories. One picture had close to 30 dolls not including little playsets and such! Keep in mind some of these dolls retail for 40-60 bucks a piece! It always makes me feel bad because as a mother I'd love to give my child the world. The reality of it is, even if I spent all that money I doubt my daughter would appriciate it the same as she would if she only got one doll she loved or maybe two. So, where do you ladies stand on this? I personally aim for one big ticket toy, about two smaller ones, an outfit of clothes and a stocking filled with pjs and little stuff. We probably spend $100 per kid in our house. How is it done on your homestead?
This year we're doing 3 gifts each and one together gift. Then for Christmas Eve gift we always get a new game and play it as a family before bed. Stockings are filled with candy and $1 toys. Last year I read Christmas Is Not Your Birthday by Mike Slaughter and yeah...it's not. LOL It's a great read. I don't feel bad about it at all. I know that that is not how I want to raise my children. I wish I could buy the big ticket item they really want (a 4wheeler) because I know they would really enjoy it. But we can't afford that big of a ticket on our budget. So their big ticket item will most likely a lego set. Do I feel bad that they won't have 50 gifts to open? Not at all. I worked in nursing homes for years, and I remember a lovely lady Evelyn telling me about her best Christmas ever. Her eyes lit up as she talked about it. She remembered she got a white button up shirt with a frilly front. She got a Watch. And she got a corncob doll. And that's all she got. The memories of that Christmas made her burst with happiness. I'm much more interested in the time I spend with my children than the things I buy them. I want them to remember my words more than my Christmas presents. I want them to store up treasures in Heaven, not under the Christmas tree. By telling my children to wisely choose which things they ask for because they only get 3...I'm giving them something far greater than beautifully wrapped boxes and bags filled with things that 5 years from now will be on a thrift store shelf or in a landfill. ETA: I read that book during the Christmas season last year-some shopping had already been done, some hadn't. We had as big of a Christmas as we could afford last year, lots of gifts for the kids. I struggled with it but done as we had always done-went all out. The strong confidence I have in the 3 gifts rule this year, is a direct result of the guilt I felt over the all out Christmas we had last year.
The big gift here is never more than $50. Never. Even things that I will save for my daughter after she outgrows them like her loopsy dolls or her my little pony collection. My dd takes care of her toys and isn't bad about losing small pieces. She is one of those rare children that would be just as tickled to recieve a sack of colored rocks as the newest barbie. I'm blessed to have such a sweet kid. My dh boys from a previous marriage destroy everything they touch without remorse and have an aweful sense of entitlement. They are spoiled by grandparents and everyone says their behavior is ok because boys will be boys and boys tear things up (b.s. on that one). Last christmas i made them hand sewn teddy bears customized with their fav colors and things embroidered on. Guess whos were found with stuffing ripped out less than 4 hours later. They also complained that their gifts were lame and didn't want them. A litebright and two erector sets are still new in the box in the closet. We try hard to pick no more than 4 toys we know theyll like and an outfit or article of clothing they like or really need (sometimes I do sew it if it will last longer and be cheaper but can make it look just as nice) Because of last year and the pic of the ladys stash it just got me thinking. Do they appriciate more presents vs the type of present. Would kids rather have a bunch of things that are just ok, or a handful of things they love? I think this year the boys will be getting cheaper items seeing as they aren't good enough or will be broken anyway. This is probably wrong, but I'm exhausted with the whole thing. Every year we carve pumpkins, have a picnic, then settle in at night with a movie, popcorn, and cider. They think this tradition is lame as well and gripe the entire time. I have sent them to sit and watch the rest of us have fun without getting to participate and they dont even care. Sorry for the novel here just ended up venting without even meaning to! I'd love to hear how you view gift giving in your family and hear any experiences you'd like to share. Thank you JosieB and I agree with you. I'd like them to remember my words and memories of time together rather than the christmas they got that LAME lego set that was scattered and directions lost by new years.
We don't limit in the amount of gifts we give BUT we do have a limit in how much we spend so depending on what is on the wish list, one might get a little bit more than the other based on the cost and it seems to have worked for us
I say every family is different and there way of doing things are different we shouldn't worry about what the jones or smith do. We need to do what we feel is right for your family and if it means only a couple of gifts so it be. Is oh natural to want to give our children the world but not many can. We just do what we can and make the best of it. I know I grew up with 11 brothers and sisters and we never had much. But, what we got we were proud of.
We're pretty much like you, Dawn. My mom would buy each kid a few books (titles, usually a series, I would suggest to her), and outfit, and something else. My mil would be the one who goes overboard. She's reigned it in some, but I've also given up trying to change things too much as far as she's oncerned. When Mom wasn't feeling up to shopping for the kids, she got them each a gift card from the department store. That was SO nice, because I then got to take each one out for "mom time". We'd go to lunch, and then go shopping to use the gift card. I also LOVE, LOVE, LOVE McDonald's or Wendy's cards!!! If g'mas give stockings, these are SO wonderful to put in them! I take control of them, and they're handy on those days when you've got doctor's appointments or whatever and are running all over town.
We sort of do three 3-gift rule. Each child gets three individual gifts. Before he passed away, my granddaddy bought the kids new pj's for Christmas. It's a tradition that we decided to continue after his death. Those are opened on Christmas Eve, but it gives everyone a 4th gift. We also do a family gift-usually games. My kids LOVE to pick out gifts for each other. Since there are 4 of them, we allow them to draw names and buy for one of their siblings. So...Technically, it's 5 each, plus a family gift now. We do not buy expensive items though. $50 would be a max for a "big" gift, but it's usually less than that. Others are usually $10 or so. The family gift depends on finances for the year. We once did the wii and accessories, but that is way more than we usually spend. They've asked for the xBox Kinect this year, but I don't see it being in our budget.
because I tend to plan ahead and start my shopping before everyone and their mother decide to clog the aisles of the one shopping option in my small town, I pretty much have a good idea what everyone will get accept for my husband. Our family gift this year will be a fish tank. I bought the material ages ago on clearance to make their pjs this year. My mil spoils the boys senseless but as for my dd and her other gd, they get the cheapest wal-mart clearance girl toy she can find without much actual thought as to what they like. I do try to make up for that by making sure the girls have a little something extra under her tree as well, even if its $1 toys wrapped seperately. We absolutely do not spend more than $100 per kid and less than that if we can. Sixcloar, the pj gift is a family tradition of mine as well but the kids get stockings on Christmas eve
We shop year-round anytime something is on clearance. For that reason, we have a ton of lego sets that the kids have never opened. We also have things like clothes and books, but legos are expensive, so that's what we really keep our eyes open for. In my family (even as a kid), everyone gets one gift, and it doesn't matter the cost (usually low)... it's well thought-out, so it's worth more than the money spent on it. In dh's family, everyone goes overboard, giving lots of rediculous stuff (sometimes super cheap, just to add another gift to the pile) that no one will ever really need or want. I hate it, but I've come to accept it. With our own kids, there is a happy medium. They get a few high-quality gifts, but we don't compare costs between the kids or count up the number of gifts. We just look for bargains and try to get things they'll want/need.
A few years ago we switched to 3 gifts each. Since we have 4 people (Dh, me, Ds16, Dd13) we each give everyone a gift. Dh and I pay for the gifts between our son and daughter, but they choose the gift. We each take a turn opening one present at a time. It makes the gift giving last longer and we each get to watch each present be opened. It is so much more intimate than the free-for-all that used to last all of 90 seconds. :roll: The kids love the new way, too. ETA: We also have stockings that always have candy and little dollar store items, too.
absolutely cannot beat the clearance aisle if you find a deal on something you know will truly be enjoyed. My dd bday is in feb. so the after Christmas clearance is a blessing. Usually the "yalls gifts are bogus" grump starts before we ever settle around the tree so we free for all to get it over with. It's like the room is divided, one side is sourpuss the other is my dd and dh all excited over what was in the box (the bubble wrap not the toy). I love the idea of one at a time though, seems much more intimate.
We try to stick to the 3 gift rule too. On Christmas Eve everyone gets new PJ's and the family gets a new Christmas movie, Christmas book and a family board game. The children get their 3 gifts under the tree on Christmas morning.
Each child receives a total of two gifts, one from us (parents and siblings) and one from Santa. They also get a little santa sack with some junkfood in it.
So, looks like the general consensus is a handful of well planned gifts is more popular than splurging on everything you see. I have nothing against going all out. I personally wouldn't because childrens tastes change and most of those things will end up in a garage sale or thrift shop within the next few years. I was an only child and both my mother and grandmother went a little overboard with presents at every opportunity. I couldn't tell you most of what I recieved if my life depended on it. So in this case seems like less is more.
This year we are doing this :5 item Christmas list My kids have already filled them out and I was surprised by the requests. (Snow boots, snow pants, a new winter coat, a cuddly blanket for my bed.) The only trouble we ran into was books.......... We are out of ideas with books. (I'm out of room too. I need 3-4 more ikea book shelves. My mom goes crazy, BUT she normally doesn't get one or two things that are important (She'll blow off a request for something the kids wants for something she thinks is better.) So David and I do buy that. We don't spend much on christmas. We picked named out of a hat this year as a family. We are in charge of "making" 1 person a special gift. This should also be the 1st year (in 6 years) that we are at home in Washington for Christmas. We are thrilled as a family. We hope to do some special family things
We haven't really had a hard and fast rule. I have in previous years bought on clearance throughout the year and thus been able to provide a pretty big Christmas for my kids. Combined with gifts from three sets of grandparents my kids get plenty for Christmas. But the past few years I've felt really convicted that I want to change how we do Christmas. I want the focus to be on spending time with family and friends and celebrating the birth of Jesus and not on how many gifts are under the tree. Last year I even ended up tucking several presents - already wrapped mind you - back into my gift tub. Between what we had, what my FIL sent and sent money for us to spend on them, and my SIL had brought them they were spoiled rotten. This year they'll each get 1 individual gift from us - a pillow with an I spy quilted pillowcase. The three boys will be getting a set of 6 reversible super hero capes, 4 masks, 6 reversible doll super hero capes (to put on their stuffed animals), a set of peg people super heroes, and a fort kit. All hand made with love to share between the three of them. My daughter is getting a quiet book, a cape of her own in pink and lime green and a mini cape for her baby, a felt crown, a block picture puzzle, and probably a set of peg people too. I know what they're getting from my mom, and I know what my dad and step-mom usually send (know part of the gift for this year), so really it'll be about how much my FIL and SIL send this year. He tends to go a bit overboard but eh. I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year because I know my kids are going to LOVE their cape sets and I can't wait to see their excitement. As to future years we're getting to a spot where it's going to be a set amount per child and when the money is gone it's gone, if that means the child gets one big ticket item to open but that's what they really wanted so be it. That's how my mom did Christmas (still does actually) and I think that worked out alright for everyone in the end.
I grew up doing one at a time, my husbands family does it sort of free for all. We mostly do one at a time. Last Christmas we started with our stockings at about 7amish and finished opening the last gift somewhere around 6pm because we took it nice and slow, played with things in between opening them and it was such a great day. One of my favorite Christmases EVER. I grew up in a divorced family so we always had to rush, we had to be at the 2nd parents house at 10am and then to my Grandma's by 2pm for Christmas dinner so it was always such a rush and as a parent looking back I hated it.
Someone told me once that the rule at their house was something to wear, something to read, something to eat and something to love. It think that is right. It may have even been someone on here that told me about it and if I got it wrong please for give me. I think it is a cute idea.
We don't have a rule per say .. just a budget! My husband grew up with nothing for Christmas so He LOVES TO SHOP FOR HIS GIRLS... My husband likes that they all have the same amount of gifts... so if one has 6 then the other has 6... I love Mardels...I can find books for the girls for a buck.. so I don't really spend a ton one each..
