I am about to start up another homeschool year in about 9 days and am finding myself in a place I haven't been before. DS 11 is beginning his 6th grade year, DS 8 is in 3rd and DS 6 is beginning 1st. I have a part time job that I do out of my home that requires probably only 5 or 6 hours per week. I school based on an 8 day work week to accommodate my husbands always rotating schedule but never school on Sunday. (Confusing, I know) So, we do 4 on and 4 off. So, as I approach this coming school year, I am finding that I am dreading it. I am realizing that as my children get older, their academics are getting harder and they require more time. I don't know how to accommodate that need within the time that I have. (My husband prefers that we don't school on his days off.) I don't feel like I have been giving them enough of my time in helping them to develop Christian disciplines and want to be able to give that a priority. I would like to develop a fitness program for them so that as a family, we can begin making that more of a priority. I have to work and when I begin school, it seems like our home just goes to shambles and it doesn't take long before we are all miserable. OK, I am rambling and starting to not make any sense. I guess my question for you all is how do you organize your day to get it all done? What priorities do you set for your family both academically and spiritually? How much do you require your kids to do around the house to help you out? What kinds of chores do they do? How much play time do you allow for? I think I am just feeling discouraged at the moment and am hoping for any help, guidance, reassurance, and direction that you are all willing to offer. Thanks so much for your help. Rhonda
I am sorry you are feeling discouraged. I think it happens to all of us at one time or another no matter what our situation. My situation isn't the same as yours because I don't work outside the home but I know from time to time I feel stressed and certain things suffer be it housework or school work or just feeling like there isn't ebnough time in the day to get everything done. I would begin by speaking with your husband. How many days a week is he off work? If you can't do school those days I can see how it would put a stress on getting it all done the rest of the week. I would speak to him about doing very light school work on those days so at least you aren't so overwhelmed the rest of the week. If it were me I would explain to my husband that I really need those extra days of school work and how important it is to be able to fit it all in. I have one child at home (about to be 2, I am due with baby #3 in 7 weeks) and one at public school. We homeschool yr round but my oldest has school from the end of August - May. During her school year my focus is getting her to dance practice on time (6:30 am) and that she is fully prepared for her day. This year she will begin driving herself which will help me a lot with the new baby. When I get home from taking her I prepare my husbands lunch, get him off to work, wake up my youngest, eat breakfast and then focus on her school. I try and make that my #1 priority. It doesn't always work because things come up but when it is a priority things go so much smoother. I kind of have a loose schedule I go by for keeping the house clean. I do certain things on certain days. I sweep or do dishes while dd9 does school work in the kitchen. Both of my girls are required to help out around the house. I suppose I expect a lot. I feel as if they need to pitch in as we are all a family and we all help each other. Today for instance since dd9 has school work but dd16 does not, dd9 will be doing school work while dd16 cleans their bathroom. I expect them both to do dishes and pick up after themselves. I had them vaccum last night. Their play time depends on how well and how quickly they get school work or homework and house chores done. I don't know if this helps you or not. I just know when I set priorities (school first, then house, then outside things like meetings or errands for instance) and the girls help out everything goes much smoother.
Rhonda, most of us find that during schooling, the house may not be as superneat as we'd like it, so you're not alone there at all! As your children get older, they should be becoming more independent in their school work, not taking more of your time and guidance. Obviously, the first grader will take more time/attention than the sixth grader, and the third grader somewhere in between. Also as they get older, they should be able to help you more not less with things around the house. They should each have tasks that they are responsible for, according to age and ability - which could rotate, or could be assigned by age - or you could have system where everyone is responsible for their own x and y, but a, b, and c jobs rotate. No, they're not going to do it as thoroughly or promptly or quickly as you do it, but you may be willing to accept a little less "percentage of perfection" during school days, but require more on not-school days. Or consider it as a subject, like Home Ec or Daily Living Skills. I'm having a little difficulty picturing (because it's not MY life, obviously) how 5 or 6 hours a week interferes to a huge degree with "getting it all done". Do you have time restrictions on when you do this? Like only between certain hours of the day? I DO know how schooling and housework don't necessarily make time for each other. Four days on and four days off would take me quite some getting used to! What does everybody do on the four days off? (You don't have to answer that if you don't want to - I'm just curious.) Maybe you need to look at some sort of curriculum that would be more independent? (CLE comes to mind - even first graders, after they get the hang of it, can be quite independent on some of the practice parts.)
I realize that I am not real clear on how I am feeling right now. Lindina, you nailed. What do we do on the four days off? That is what I am really struggling with the most. My husband is in law enforcement. He works two days followed by two nights every week. So, for instance, he works say a day shift on Wednesday and Thursday. That means he is gone from 5:45AM to about 6:15PM those two nights. Then on Friday, he is transitioning to night shift. That means he gets up in the morning around 9:00AM, right in the middle of my school morning, then goes back to bed around 1:00 before getting up to go to work at 5:45PM. Then he is sleeping the next day, Saturday till about noon before working again that night. That means that the first day he has off, he is always sleeping until around 1:00PM. He progressively works his way back to getting up earlier and earlier until he goes to work again at 6:00AM. ( I know, it is confusing) This is the real stressor. I have always prided myself on being a good wife but am struggling right now with feeling like I am doing my part and when I start schooling again, I always feel like I am not able to do my part, especially when he is on his transition day. On the four days off, he likes us to be together though not necessarily doing anything specific together. The kids have gotten so used to four days off that I think I am personally fearful of how they will react and not sure I am ready for the challenge. I know, I know. I just have to buck up and do it. I need to speak to my husband and we need to come up with a plan. It is just so hard to plan when your week is as random as mine. Thanks for your encouragement though. I know we all go through these times. I have just never dreaded the start of a school year the way I am this one. And to address the notion that my 6th grader should be more independent. I know. But his is the biggest lollygager on the planet and hates anything that is a challenge. He just tested at at a 3rd grader level for math and has never had any formal writing program because I have always been afraid of the confrontation. I can only take so much crying and wailing before I need to just walk away. So, he actually takes more time then my 1st grader. I know that is something I am dreading even more. Does any of this make sense?
