This is something that has been bothering me for the last couple of months. Two families we know have decided to homeschool their older daughters as punishment for getting in trouble at school. One has already pulled their kid; the other is thinking about it for next year. They both came to me, thrilled, that they are "like" us. Then they proceeded to tell me they don't want the trouble of actually teaching their kids. They want the kids to get the work (like from an independent study program) and do it themselves and don't bother them. Both have said this is a huge inconvenience. Oh, and would I mind them coming to my house to do it? First off, obviously, they are not homeschooling. They are doing independent study. Second, this is a privilege not a punishment. I have, so far, given 12 years of my life to my kids. This is my career. It offends me that these women consider homeschooling (or even independent study) a punishment. Insulting. Third, do they think I have time to take on two more kids? Not to mention, teenage girls who don't want to be homeschooled? Oh and could I make it like 'real school' with projects and such? Oh, and help them with concepts they need help on? Lastly, they talk about it in front of my kids. Granted, I have teens myself. But all this talk is causing my oldest, almost graduated teen to wonder if we did the right thing. She's feeling like the biggest dork in front of these girls. She has always been homeschooled and, as most homeschooled kids, she tends to be more mature than girls her age and doesn't fit in. I think she is a well rounded, interesting person. Definately not a dork. But, yes, I admit, not worldly. She is not hung up on partying, boys, or petty arguements. I told them, nicely, all the above, with a smile. I think if I hear the moms say its a punishment or the girls say how they miss school one more time, I am gonna scream. It is all they talk about. So, do I nix the friendship with these families? How do I tell them without sounding like a baby that I don't like the conversation? Do you think this lifestyle is a privilege or a punishment? Some perspective, please...
I think perspective IS the answer. Ask this person to walk in your shoes for a moment. How would she feel if you punished your kids by forcing them to do all the things her kids had been doing? How would she feel if you were suddenly forced to live her lifestyle and did nothing but complain about it?
Perspective or not, the first thing I'd say is NO, I will NOT let them "do school" at my house. I have enough teaching my own children. I would then explain the LIFESTYLE CHOICE of homeschooling. Then I would tell them they may want to look into CyberSchool. BUT at the same time, THEY are responsible for their kid doing the work, etc. I do agree that with some kids, bringing them home, while seeming to be a punishment, is the only way to remove the child from the environment. But if the parents are going to do nothing but b**** about it, they're fighting a losing battle. They need to find a way to reconnect with their kid.
If I were you I would make sure BOTH moms knew that I felt it was a privilege to home school and not a punishment. I would then tell them that you don't have time to teach their children...or you could tell them you could do it for $$$$ (and I would make the price the same a a private school in the area). Personally I just wouldn't do it because I wouldn't want the extra drama in my house. Maybe mention that not only is it a privilege, it is also a sacrifice. If they can't sacrifice, then maybe they shouldn't do it. BTW, I lived in CA and did independent study my sophmore year and it was soooooooo easy. The parents really don't have to do anything at that age. The student is given a weeks worth of assignments every week and they meet with a teacher once a week to go over all the assignments and to have their stuff graded. I think it took about an hour. I could usually get a weeks worth of school done in 4-5 hours on a Saturday morning. I think these moms don't understand how independent study works. It really isn't home schooling once the kids reach high school. The parents aren't expected to do anything.
WOW. I would definitely NOT agree to let them 'school' at our house! I'm sorry, but it takes some major you-know-what to even ask you for that! Did they at least offer to pay you? I wouldn't do it even for money with the attitude they are displaying. It sounds like it is already having a negative impact on your family, and that would only continue to get worse if they were with you every day. I don't think that homeschooling is a privilege. I think it is a RIGHT. And just like any other RIGHT, we should be grateful that we can exercise it. Homeschooling is only a punishment if you make it that way. Obviously these families are not interested in truly doing homeschooling for the joy of learning. My advice would be to not turn your back on these families, but don't interact with them much if can. I found that it is much better to not burn bridges, because you never know what the future might hold. Hopefully these families will come to their senses soon. Either way, I would keep your daughter away from theirs if you can.
There is no way I could let the "do school" at my house. Wow what a sacrifice these mothers are making. With that level of involvement, why don't they teach them to cheat for better grades, and give them a box of.............. then their worries would be over.
No offers to pay me. I wouldn't do it for money anyways. Right about high school age. It's just one of the mom works full time and didnt want her daughter home alone all day. The other mom works part time but is, what's the nice way to say this, ummm, selfish. But you are right. If neither of them is willing to sacrifice, why should I? I'm going to mention that if (when) the subject is brought up again.
