Mother takes children to trial I have to be honest. I am not sure how I stand on this one. On one hand most children see violence like this on video games and I can see how this would be a chance to show her children not only how the judicial system works but how violence is real. On the other hand I can't imagine my children being able to handle the pictures and details that would be revealed in that sort of trial (mine are about the same age) but she seems to have prepared them really well...
JMO I don't have any problem with kids attending a trial, depending on the content (details) that may come out in testimony. I'm not sure how she can know just what the various witnesses will say on the stand. But her kids are too young to be dealing with the issue of murder as a legal issue. Again, JMO.
I think that trial was probably more than those young children needed to see. That's my opinion though, but she does have to right to teach her children how she sees fit, and I don't know her children,maybe they are better able to handle things than my boys are...
This one comes a little close to home. When Richard (oldest son) was homeschooled, he and I went to the local courtrooms to experience the judicial system. The problem was that most of the cases were nasty divorces, but one case was a murder. He and I decided to sit at the back of the public area. But then a police officer came over and pointed out that there would be some graphic pictures from the murder scene. We were allowed to stay, but he advised against it. So, we quietly got up and left. Looking back, I don't know what I was thinking. Most likely, I was naive about what would happen in the courtroom. For whatever reason, I hadn't thought about this possibility, and I was most grateful for the officer's intervention. Richard must have been about 13 at the time.
I understand wanting your child to see a trial in process, but I personally would not take my son, no matter what age, to a murder trial where extreme emotion and graphic pictures where to be displayed. I do plan on taking him to the court house to watch something though. It is a good point you made, Steve, about there being a lot of divorce procedings and then just the murder left. I suppose it could be hard to find an appropriate trial to show children. The court house near us does traffic tickets and minor misdemeanors, so while boring, it is still brought before a judge and kind of shows the process.
Wow, honestly, I don't see it as any different than the violet video games. If it's not okay in a video game, what makes it okay in real life? Cause she's there? my 6 year old doesn't even know what rape is. Why would I need to take him to t a murder trial to find out just to expose him to the judicial system? If I wanted to teach him how the courts worked I think I'd pick traffic court or something non-violent like a stolen car or something. My child, would have nightmares after this. To know this happens to people in their homes, where they should feel (and be) safe. Not a concept I want to introduce to such a young child. I was worried about how he would react when his grandparents' house burned to the ground, even THAT effected his sleep, imagine what a rape/beating/murder story would do to him, no way....
This woman prepared her children for things. She told them that they could put their head down at any time if they didn't want to see something; she was prepared to take them out if she or they felt it was necessary. Not saying it would be something that I'd do, but why don't we just let the mom make the decisions on this one?
Well, I am not that mother, I don't know her children or what their personalities are, but... I wouldn't do it. I have tender hearted children, and something like that would terrify them. Plus, DH works in a maximum security prison and sees things like that everyday, and knows how gruesome a trial can be. DH also mentions: Say your taking your child to a trial, you're seeing how terrible they are, all the things they've done, all the terrible testimonies against them, all the emotion in the courtroom (which I think really sticks on them)...and in the end they walk. The OJ Simpson trial for Example. Everyone knew he was guilty...but he walked. What does that do to your lesson then? What is that teaching the kids? They see this whole process, witness everything that's happened and then see the "killer" walk? How is that going to be explained? If THEY are firmly convinced that the man/woman is a killer and they end up getting off, what will the parent say? How is that explained to a child so YOUNG?? :/
I think I would take my children to a trial but not murder. In my house we pay close attention to ratings, video games, TV shows, movies, any type of media they come in contact with. Mostly because they are young but also because most of the time in the media this type of thing is sensationalized. It would give them the wrong idea about crime. A trial would be going the right direction as far as teaching them consequences for breaking the law, but at that age it might just scare them silly. Nightmares would definitely be a side effect for my boys. I'm thinking maybe a trial involving theft as the crime would be more appropriate.
She might have talked to them about it and 'prepared' them for it and told them they could leave at anytime, etc, but I just don't think you can 'prepare' a child that young to deal with things like this. Children this age just are not mature enough, rational enough or emotionally and mentally developed enough to handle a rape/murder trial such as this IMHO. And if it gets so bad/scary that the child asks to leave-then the damage is already done-they were already scared/bothered enough to ask to leave. Children can't distinguish between reality and fantasy until age 7-8. 1/3 of 7 year olds still have imaginary friends! Studies have shown that just watching the news can create stress for children even when they are not directly exposed to the violence. Children personalize everything they hear/see. They try to relate everything back to their own lives. So when you take such young children to a trail about an entire family being attacked/raped/killed in their own home-what is a child going to do with that information? They will relate it to their own home/family. Throw tomatoes if you will.....this, to me, is more than just bad parenting, it's borderline abuse.
I'm sorry, I don't agree. While I wouldn't do that with my kids for all the reasons listed above, I'm for letting the mom be mom. She knows her kids best, and knows what they can and cannot handle.
I don't know why this mother would feel that taking her young children to a trial like this is appropriate. Not only is the subject matter is highly inappropriate, but how could they possibly understand the vocabulary used by the judge/lawyers/officers etc? IMO there is not one reason for them to be exposed to this.
And we can respectfully disagree. At least you didn't throw tomatoes But you're assuming all moms know best and all moms know what their kids can and can't handle and that's just not so....unfortunately, we can't, as a society, always let mom and dad be the mom and dad, cause not everyone is good at it. While I don't think this makes her a horrible mom or that she needs to have her children taken away, I do see this as questionable parenting due to the young age of her children. Some parents wouldn't take their 13 year old to such a trial, but some would. If her kids were older, then I'd say fine-it's a personal decision. But the issue here is the children being so young. And I'm not trying to bash-goodness knows I've made my fair share of bad decisions and parenting mistakes, what parent hasn't. But, none were so bad that they made the news....yet LOL I know I've over estimated what my kids can handle before, I've put them in or allowed situations I wished later I hadn't, exposed them to things I wish I hadn't at such a young age (not a rape/murder trial...but still), etc Even good parents make bad decisions or parenting mistakes here and there. I doubt we ever read a news story on it, and she may or may not would ever admit it, but I'd bet money (if I was a betting person) that she will see signs in her young children that attending this trial effected them in a negative way.
