I am looking for help in more ways than one....firstly, sorry if the question has been done before but could someone point me to it who is more knowledgeable...thanks x If not - HELP.... I am struggling with the amount of household chores to get done each day along with raising the 3 children and teaching them too. My husband works away and gets home most weekends but often breezes in like the fun time daddy and along with all his shackles and stuff which usually gets dumped at the door for us to trip over all weekend.... NOT nagging just wandering how everyone else seems to keep house immaculate and remain sane at the same time and can seem to have it all. I don't sit down too much and whenever I do I seem to be doing for the children - not having too much me time [not a huge problem to me though]. But with the tidying, cleaning, putting away, laundry etc. I just feel like I would never get to the end even if the children help - which I might add is sometimes like extracting teeth. So, can anyone shed any light on why my life is so ahhhhggg - always seeming to be one thing at the expense of another. Thanks in anticipation SS
What really helped me was to write down a list of priorities. What are the most important things to your DH and you as far as housework goes. Like those things that if nothing else gets dont THIS has to be done. Then give yourself permission to have days where that is the only thing that gets done as far as housework. We moved from an individual chore list to a zone chore list. It has been a God send! Now the girls are responsible for their zones and I dont have to worry about things not picked up because "It wasnt my job". We stop and have 2-3 "quick tidy" sessions every day. Usually about 10-15 min. At the end of the day though you need to be ok with not being able to do everything. We are just not able to give 100% to 5 different things. The most important thing right now is your family and as long as your house is safe I wouldn't let it get to you that it is a bit untidy! As far as DH's stuff. My husband has a bad habit of collecting piles of things on various surfaces and then getting upset if I move something. Our solution was that we designated one place in the house (out of sight!) and I put a brown wicker basket there and all his junk goes in there. I never clean it out. It probably has gum wrappers and reciepts 3 years old in it but I never touch it because it is his basket. Then his stuff stays in one space and is hidden enough that I can handle it. Try getting a decorative basket or trunk and having him put his things in there. That way they are out of the way and you dont have to look at them Hope that helped some
Some people like Flylady for housework help. Personally I found her way too manipulative/controlling - but that's just me. A LOT of people love her, so it's worth a try. http://www.flylady.net/
I like it :twisted:if only a wicker basket was big enough for his junk....lol We are as bad as each other in the sense that he just domps and I put down [of course] then get distracted by a little person crisis and completely forget what I was doing / had done etc. then before you know it the table is 5 feet high. I like the zone idea - funnily enough that is what has kind of worked itself out for the day today - dd2 has decided it is her job to clear the table of the crocks and take them to the kitchen and then dd1 is responsible for putting in new bin liner, sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor every day.... Its a start. I am not houseproud and worry that everything has to be done - and I can and do live with a little disorganisation - but it seems that I can't have ANY time off or life descends into complete chaos - even when dh is home - he is worse than the kids for not keeping life tidy or making the kids keep tidy.... eek - will keep working on it - perhaps he gets a zone - as soon as he walks through the door - his zone should perhaps be all things outside and the hall way....yeah - I like that:twisted:
My husband is hardly home and when he is home I don't like to ask him to help with the house b.c of the hours he works, and plus he works a dangerous job so he needs his rest. He does take care of all the outside chores and takes the trash to the road on Thursday nights. So for the house, my little one has a chore chart, simple tasks that a 3yr old can do though he does need my help with some. Then I wrote myself a chore list, in order of importance. And I also printed off a daily, weekly and monthly chore list that I found somewhere. Org Junkie I think. I just do what I can during the day and if it doesn't get done I don't stress about it. My house isn't spotless by any means but it's tidy and my son is happy so thats all that matters.
My hubby is gone from 7:30 to 7:30 everyday. He's a neat freak and expects the house to look perfect when he gets home. So, from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., the house is a wreck. From 5 to 7, I clean. The kids have been taught to help from the moment they started toddling on 2 feet. If they're old enough to get it out by themselves, they're old enough to put it back by themselves! I do the "cleaning" (vacuum, dishes, wipe cabinets) and they do the clutter (books, toys, shoes, etc.) It usually takes us only 30 minutes to clean the house well enough that daddy doesn't hit the roof. It takes about 2 hours to clean it when people are coming over (scrub toilets, etc.). Things like my desk and the playroom upstairs are a last priority, and sometimes they'll go a week without being clean, but the common areas are almost always guest-ready (with a "we're on our way" phone call).
You didn't mention how old your kids are but depending on that, I would tell you what my husband keeps telling me-delegate! I have a hard time with getting overwhelmed with all my responsibilities. As a matter of habit (and how I personally was raised) I tend to do most of the work. I have been trying to delegate more to the kids which not only trains them in home care, but makes things more fair. Plus they are plenty old enough. I was raised differently in that my mother did everything and didn't let me do any chores so I grew up with basicly no skills. By the way, my husband is also a neat freak, so we try to get things at least somewhat together by the time he gets home!
Get the kids help. And stick with it. Also realize what I have things like dishes and laundry are on rotation and never will be finished. Just keep it moving through the cleaning, putting away and organizing.
I've not read everyone else's response. But I sure don't know those "everyone else" you mention, lol! It sure ain't MY house!!! It has been said that a homeschooler either has a clean house and school's behind, or things are going great with school and the house is a mess. Can't have it both ways, lol! The one (only?) thing I DO have under control is laundry. My dh, when we were first married, wanted to know that the laundry would be done on the same day each week, don't remember why. So now Monday is Laundry Day. The kids dump it all in the middle of the floor on Sunday night and sort it. I put the whites on to soak overnight, and wash them in the AM. Then I spend all day doing loads between lessons. We always have Silent Reading after lunch, followed by my reading aloud. Well, on Mondays the kids fold laundry while I read aloud. Then they take it up to their rooms and put it away. Works for me!!!
Okay-so for us-it was find out what's most important to me and hubby to done most. These are the things I concentrate on most daily. (that's bad English huh? LOL I'm tired) So for us-we got a morning list we try to get done 6 days a week (we skip it on co-op day) and a nightly list that rarely ever gets done to be honest LOL but it's a goal, and we try to do it together.... Morning list http://gapeachhomeschool.yolasite.com/resources/Daily Dozen.pdf Evening list http://gapeachhomeschool.yolasite.com/resources/Nightly Nine.pdf Things I keep in mind-it doesn't have to be PERFECT-if I make progress, hubby is happy and so am I. People live here-it's not a set on a TV show-it's real life homeschooling family. Make your daily-everyday lists small-around 10 items in morning and evening-you'll notice some things on the list are rather trivial-they don't take long at all-5 minutes-I can mark it off the list-for me-this is about motivation, it helps me mentally to mark something off the list like -get dressed-then I'm more motivated to do the harder, less fun stuff.... Rotate what you skip if you have to skip something consecutive days. Like my morning list, if I skip cleaning the bathrooms today, tomorrow I HAVE to clean the bathrooms-if I skip something I might skip laundry...this way even if I skip somehting every day-if it's not the same thing every day-everything gets done at least every other day, so I'm on top of it. My house isn't spotless, but I'm usually (unless there has been sickness or lots of running around) in a position to be ready for company in around 20 minutes. (meaning I can make the main living areas look spotless quick LOL)
Umm, immaculate? do you mean "real" houses or the ones in magazines? :lol: I tell my dh, Look, you have two choices: educated kids or clean laundry. you can't have both! My husband was raised in an immaculate home and expected the same when he married me. I told him if it was that important to him, he needs to go back to Momma, because I have kids who need me and I could not be bothered by a few piles of clutter. I say this jokingly, but really, you may have to lower your standards for a few years while the kids are home. When you have kids in the home 24/7 it just isn't going to be perfect, and that's ok. I don't mean you have to live in filth and get shut down by the health dept or anything. just be willing to let things go a little. I used to have one day a week that was cleaning day, but that didn't work out so then I tried the chore of the day method, but now I just do what needs doing as it needs it. If the kids are going naked, I do laundry. If I am tunneling a path thru the living room, I pick up. No pressure!
Mine is FAR from spotless! Though I can usually fake the appearance of spotless quite quickly if need be.....so long as our guests don't open any doors! LOL
I am loving this as an idea as I think my eldest reluctant reader is worried that when she can read I will stop reading to her. So this way is a win win for all... Thank you for this idea
We constantly read aloud in my house. I usually read history first thing in the AM, and then a book after silent reading. Up to this year, DH was reading before bedtime, but this year we're going so many different directions! Kids aren't getting home until late, so that's been put on hold. Plus, dh and I usually have a book going after the kids are in bed. Right now it's "Royal Blood", a "cozy" mystery by Rhys Bowen.
Anna~I really like these ideas and was wondering if it was a little more detailed somewhere, like maybe your blog? I don't have time to look right now if it's not on there. I was just wondering.
My Dh has OCD, so I used to be like the mom who mentioned that the house was a mess until an hour or two before Dh got home and then I cleaned like a maniac. Well, over the years, Dh (with the help of meds) has come to realize that the house immaculate and the kids' school work are at opposite ends of my to-do list. HOWEVER....and here is the pearl I will impart to you....set aside some time to Clean Sweep your house. If you are not familiar with the TV show, the homeowners take everything out of the room they are working on, sort out what they will 1) keep, 2) pitch, 3) donate/sell. The kids and I used to go crazy trying to keep everything tidy--they were also picking up after themselves from the time they could place a toy into a basket. Then I realized that the actual problem was too much stuff. I determined to clean sweep my house--which took about a month to complete--and I can tell you that it made ALL the difference. Maybe that isn't the issue in your home at all, but if it is, just know that it is so worth the time and effort to simplify. From the sound of your posts, it seems that you might just be overwhelmed with "stuff" around the house and it is becoming somewhat of a mental block to living life to the fullest with your family.
I'm afraid the first room I would have to "clean sweep" would be the computer room, with all its school stuff!!! My bedroom would be a close second.
Our home is just that a home, where people live, and eat, and play and learn. I tell people all the time when they show up unannounced they risk walking into a mess! If I am given advance notice of a visit we will clean the common areas fully (takes about an hour to do it all), and if there is time the boys room as well. So I keep my home semi-clean, but we do live here an I refuse to make my children feel like they can't touch anything in their own home. Hubby and I just recently did a 'cleen sweep' of the two main clutter rooms of the house (living room and our bedroom). It took us 3 days (mostly becase we moved furniture as well).
