I swore to never be that mom that makes a separate meal for the picky eater. But I got 3 kids and they hardly like any of the same things. 2 of 3 like this but the 3rd only eats that. 1 likes this but the other two can't stand it. Dinner has become so unpleasant. It's a constant battle to force them to eat veggies or chicken if it's not in the form of a nugget. I really feel they would rather wait for breakfast then eat the dinner sometimes. I've given in a little and made nuggets for the kids while my husband and I have steak or whatever the other meat might be. Or I might say it's this dinner or a bowl of Cheerios. (they pick cereal). How would you handle this situation? I'm just tired of fighting.
It kind of depends what we are having. For example, I have two kids who WILL NOT eat spaghetti in any form. They've tried it. We've made them eat __ bites of it. They've been told no seconds on anything else until it's gone. They.just.don't.like.it. They'd rather go to bed hungry than have to eat it. So, on spaghetti night, they are allowed to fix themselves a PB&J. I don't make anything different for them. If they don't like what we're eating, that's their option. This is the same for my kids who don't like chili, pinto beans, potato soup, etc. If I know it is something they don't like, they have a choice. On the other hand, if I make something that they have eaten before and they just don't feel like having it on that night (like tonight's stroganoff), then they can either eat it or wait for breakfast.
lol keep searching for things they can agree on. Or like I do I make meals three times a week for the adults and request the kids eat as much as possible. Then I make sure they have a snack later. But ONLY if they have tried everything at least once and not little licks at it either. Then the other two week nights I make meals I know the kids will eat up without hesitation. And on the weekend I generally let hubby cook or eat out lol. Its a struggle. I say its because our kids have wayyyyy more options then we ever did. I recall eating a lot of pasta and salad growing up and baked beans. Now food is more readily acessible and the variety is endless allowing people to develope their own palates at younger ages. Also too taste buds change so just because they won't eat it now means they can opt out of it later. I keep putting things in front of them and trying new recipes to find things they will eat that we all like.
I was a supreme pickyeater as a kid. My dad used to say that I never knew a restaurant served anything but a hamburger until I was 14 (no onion or tomato, please). I grew up on rice&gravy&meat, PB&J, cornbread and milk, and corn flakes, I think, with the occasional hamburger. Wouldn't touch a vegetable with a ten-foot fork. I determined to raise mine to eat whatever was put in front of them, and they grew up with a wider variety than I grew up with. But I can testify that tastes change - as an adult, I grew to love my veg, runny-yolk eggs, tomatoes on my burger, cheeses (especially on pizza!), and a huge variety of things I wouldn't even think of eating as a kid. I just encouraged them to "try a taste", put only a teaspoon of it on their plate, let them put ketchup on it, wrap it in a bit of bread, whatever... and if they really just couldn't, they could have cereal or PB&J they fixed themselves.
I have one child out of 4 that has a very limited food list (likes)...... ITs getting better. 1) give them a mulit vitamin 2) have a few options what I mean is this, we have a main dish, and at least 2 side dishes USUALLY. 3) let everyone in the family pick a dinner night... make the menu before you go to the grocery store, ask everyone to pick a meal they like so at least one night a week you've got something they like. 4) pick your battles. I think every doctor will tell you..... a kid will eat something when they are hungry. ........ so if its something you don't want to make an issue of find a solution that fits. ( if its letting them pick dinner or a bowl of HEALTHY cereal or a PB& J sandwich) some ways we get through the picky ness: my son likes spaghetti and pasta, but not with sauce, so he gets a little butter instead to stir into the noodles, sometimes I put shredded cheese too. chicken pot pie day: I make a chicken pot pie ---- small version with out vegetables. INSTANT MASHED POTATOES (my son doesn't like vegetables except instant potatoes, ok, thats easy so I pop in a bowl so he has at least one side dish to go with the meat we have) If the kids don't like steak or what ever you and your husband are having....... fine, let them have a picnic and watch a movie and eat chicken nuggets and mac n' cheese or what ever while you have a romantic dinner for 2 at the dining table. take what you can from what they like and modify it....... if they like chicken nuggets, make your own..... maybe someday you'll be out of chicken and would they know it if you used the "other white meat"??......... a little sneaky goes a long way.
Thanks everyone! I think those are good ideas. I was very picky too when I was little so I can relate but my mom always made one dinner and we all ate the same thing. I was a teenager before I started eating more variety. I sure hope their tastes change. I would be embarrassed for them if they still order off the kids menu when they grow up, lol.
I have a "one bite rule" at my table. You don't have to like it, but you do have to eat at least one bite. Then they can fill up on whatever else is on the table or they can wait till breakfast. . An interesting doc on PBS showed how certain flavors are interpreted differently on each person's tongue, which would explain why my ds8 can eat his weight in broccoli and I gag just being in the same room with it. And why I hear people talk about how sweet fresh tomatoes are, but they are just bitter and rancid tasting to me. I try to keep this in mind, but at the same time, I want my kids to see food as necessary fuel for the body, not just an entertaining social tool that always has to be pleasant.
Oh, I forgot to mention that my very persnickety dgs (age 6) will devour a certain thing at one time, but if we have it for him next time he comes, he won't touch it. "I don't like that anymore." At the present time he'll eat raw veg as in salad, with a sprinkling of chopped boiled egg on top, even broccoli, which he won't touch in cooked form at all anymore. He won't touch the yolk of boiled egg if I give him one whole, but chopped fine on the salad it's good. Several months ago, he wouldn't touch ketchup, but loved yellow mustard - now he "hates" mustard but likes ketchup. Same with mashed potatoes/fries, same with several other things. Go figger. His little brother age 2 hasn't found anything he doesn't like yet. But the 6yo was such a picky eater, he wouldn't even nurse well at birth!
I am a mean mom. They eat what's prepared, or they don't eat. Period. And no snack before bed if they've skipped dinner. My parents were this way - no, my dad was even worse. You would see it for breakfast if you didn't eat it for dinner. My oldest HATES spaghetti, macaroni & cheese, anything with cheese, etc. LOL She is the weirdest kid. But she will eat asparagus, and the like! NOW...I say that is our rule, and it is BUT I always make sure there is one thing on the table that each person likes. And like it or not, they have to have a "no thank you" bite of everything. Now, brussel sprout night is hard - because the rule applies to Mom & Dad, too. I can't very well tell them that they have to do it, but I don't have to. My husband LOVES brussel sprouts, so I do make them once in a while for him...and we ALL have to have one of them. LOL I would say, on the whole, my kids have become good eaters from this - and they've learned that even if they don't LOVE something, they can still eat it for the vitamin and health factor. Even if it's just one bite. And we don't force beyond that one bite. I know you have to pick your battles, but as my pediatrician said "They aren't going to starve". And eventually, they will eat. When we first implemented this (when my oldest was 4 - because she was the pickiest eater in the entire world), it was tough. And there were days she went to bed very hungry. BUT...now she eats almost everything (but pasta). And I still cook pasta - but I make sure that there's something on the table she will eat. (Like if we do spaghetti w/ meatballs - I keep the meatballs separate, b/c she will eat them, and we'll have salad and garlic bread. She eats the meatballs, garlic bread and salad). I'm glad we did it b/c there are things she never ate that now she will eat. And she wants to be a chef - so that's been easier, too...b/c we can say "Well, if you want to be a chef, you have to try everything b/c you can't just cook what YOU like and you have to know what tastes good together.". Another thing to do is have them help cook dinner - or each child gets one night of the week where the main course is their decision.
Tonight is "kids choice"....... chicken pot pie. Krista.......... I just read about your picky daughter, good rule I guess....... however I make many a things to feed to my NON picky eaters that I don't taste.
My kids are both picky eaters. Most of the time, they fix their own food now that they are old enough. It's just never been a battle that I wanted to fight. If we had a large family, I'd take the "you eat what I fix or you go hungry" approach.
You all have such great ideas! I'm taking notes. My DS is almost 6, and is starting to enjoy trying new things - yay! But DS2 is still really picky! It doesn't matter what is at the table, even if he picks it, we often still have a battle! (Sigh) But I'm sure it will change.
I am glad that Krista posted, other wise I would feel like a mean mom all by myself. My kids eat what is on the table. We have taught them that they may not like what we serve, but they better love the hard work and prep that went into it. We are just like Krista, because the adults follow the same rule. My hubby loves fish and mushrooms. So I cook them for him, and I eat them. One time he caught a bunch of fish and we didn't have any money for other food, so we ate fish every night for a week! It was horrible. But I ate it. If you don't eat good at dinner no snacks before bedtime! I think I am this way because we have enough money to feed the kids well. But as a child my mom did not, I remember her bringing home a 50lb sack of potatoes, and a 20# sack of onions somebody had given her. That is all we ate for a month. I mean really we had potatoes and onions in every way imaginable for at least two meals (we had toast for breakfast) a day. My kids are not going to be hungry like I was, but they are going to know how to appreciate the fact the have food.
I haven't read all the other responses, but... My daughter was an extremely picky eater, from the time I weaned her. People used to tell me, "There are no picky eaters in sub-Saharan Africa!" and my response was always, "Yeah, she'd have starved to death a long time ago." So instead of fighting her, we stocked the fridge with something she would eat (peanut butter and bread). Then I went ahead and made whatever I wanted to make for dinner. She HAD to try a bite of everything, and she HAD to be polite about it. No spitting, no faces, no rude behaviour allowed. And when she'd taken a decent-sized bite of everything (no microscopic "tasting" games), if she didn't like any of it, then she could go make herself a peanut butter sandwich in the kitchen. She ate a lot of peanut butter sandwiches when she was little! The important part for me wasn't forcing her to eat what I cooked, it was teaching her courtesy and respect for my hard work (and the hard work of others). And very gradually, over the years, I started hearing things like, "This is... kinda good, mom." She started eating the meals I made. And now that she's 15, she'll eat practically anything I make (although she picks out the peppers). :lol: She's great at trying new foods, too.
