So, my 8 yo son said to me last night "I don't want to go to bed because that means I am just going to have to get up in the morning and do a bunch of school work that I hate!" Well, that one caught me off guard and I just wasn't sure how to respond. What would you have said? And how do you deal with a child who is just hating school so much, he purposely sleeps in on school mornings so he doesn't have to do it? Any help and advice would be appreciated! Rhonda
We, as moms, put a lot of energy into teaching our children. We want our children to enjoy it. Sigh. Some children love to learn, some don't. I have a daughter that I hs from K - 12. She loved learning. It was fun! On the other hand, my son who is in 8th grade sleeps in the morning as long as he can to avoid doing school. This sceme never works because there is just so much school that he has to do. If I were you, I would try to have my son pick a topic or two that interests him and make a fun learning experience. You will need to figure out how he likes to learn whether it is crafts, reading, etc. Tell him that he does have to learn certain things even if he does not really like it but you will try to make it enjoyable. He can have some fun learning other things of his choice. I have tried the above method with both of my children. It worked well with my daughter but not my son. Sigh. Another idea. Perhaps your son would like a reward system. This may sound like bribery. It kind of is. In life, we do get rewarded for our efforts. Your husband gets paid for working. You will need to figure out what would interest your son. It could be a star chart for all the good school work he does. He could receive money as in a quarter for every math page that is done correctly. It could be a special day out for every 10 days of school that he has a good attitude. You get the idea. I should have done this more with my son.
I know your son isn't to this stage yet, but I'm reading a book written to help get you into a different mindset for school called Senior High: A Home-Designed Form+U+La. I wish I would have read it when my son was young. It really helps to put education into the perspective it should be. I think most people enjoy learning in some way, just maybe not the way we were taught in school. The things they don't enjoy and will never focus their lives/careers on don't need to be in depth studies, maybe just learn what they will need for their future plans. Obviously at 8yo, a child needs to be learning the basics in multiple subjects, but maybe you could switch up how it is learned. My ds preferred to learn through living books rather than workbooks. We would either read them together and I would check for comprehension or occassionally I'd find quizes online. I found a math program that ds tolerated, so there is no "relaxing" with math (mostly because I am not comfortable with letting him guide himself in a subject he loathes :lol: ). He loves science and history and often studies those subjects on his own. We have curriculum for science that seems to be more of a springboard for his own studies and experiments. For history, I ditched a curriculum and let him run with it as long as it stays within the general time period that our goal is to cover. I have found that by relaxing the way he learns, he retains virtually everything he reads, watches or researches online. The book I mentioned earlier is geared for this type of learning to take place clear through high school graduation. There are ways to keep track of records, hours and credits using this method. I am so excited to start emplementing it!
If my son said that, this is what I would have said: I have an idea. How about we take the day off and go somewhere fun. Then later on we'll sit together and write down a big list of all the things you really like to do. You can make your own daily schedule from that! Then every night when you go to bed, you can be happy knowing that the morning is going to be enjoyable and that you helped create it. I've done this and it's more effective than it sounds. My ds (and my dd when she was 8) included things like "go to the playground" and "snacktime", but their lists were mostly made up of things like science experiments, readalouds, workbooks of their choosing, nature walks, copywork, making their own books, art, computer quizzes (bookadventure was a fave), making history timelines, and more of a hands-on approach to everything else. I was impressed and we did make a nice daily schedule out of that. We ended up with a wonderful productive week, and everyone was happy.
Hi Rhonda: If my 8 year old dd came to me and said this, I would ask her what exactly she was not enjoying in our school. And then I'd re-evaluate what we were using if it was the materials. Or is it that he would like time to play before school? Does a different time, late afternoon work better for him? I'd try to narrow down what exactly it was he was not enjoying. You said your ds likes to sleep in on school mornings so he doesn't have to do school work. Do you have set start times for school? Can I ask what materials you are using? FWIW I have always felt (this is our 6th year) that learning can be and should be enjoyable. I choose what I use carefully because I don't want it to feel overwhelming, boring or to have it be something that is dreaded. Last year my then 7 year old hated doing any LA that involved her to do much reading. For example in Explode the Code there are those pages where the child reads the sentence and then picks which describes the picture. She detested those. Would get so frustrated. So we would just skip that. She did keep on working on phonics though and this year she reads all the time. I pass her she is reading a book to herself or my younger children. I also use workboxes which allow all my dc to see a beginning and a definite ending.We have been using those a year and no longer do I hear "when are we done?" as they can see and they know all on their own. We used to add in things like treats and games to our boxes but my older girls prefer not having that in their boxes any longer. Just for comparison school work wise ( I always like to see what others are doing, so hope it's okay to share). My 8 year old is doing: Language arts: Copywork, 2 pages of Climbing to Good English, Lots of reading Math: Math u see Science, history and literature: I am using living books from the Robinson curriculum, sonlight and Ambleside online and books of our own I've picked up. We set up her reading shelf. She chooses a book, reads it all the way through and then on to the next book. Also for science, nature study outside. Piano: Quick piano, 4 times per week Typing: Twice per week using Zoom Typing Art: Free art as desired Handicrafts: As desired Our week is 5 days. And our days are very short. Tops two hours with 3 kids schooling and a baby in the mix. My dd also reads about 2 hours on her own daily. Not sure if that helps any.
I would have asked my son WHAT exactly he hated. Some things HAVE to be done, whether you like it or not, that's just life, and a good lesson to learn. But somethings can be made more fun. I'd ask what he hated, and what he loved. And try to find a balance...
It could be so many reason and it would be hard to narrow them down without knowing more about the circumstances. I will say this, some of the time is not the child who is approaching things wrong--it is us. We were all trained (most of us) to "learn" a certain way. Well, not all of us learn well that way. I think it is really time that we re-think the WHOLE educational process. Five or six or more segmented classes can be overwhelming to a lot of kids, especially that young. Of course, I don't know if you do that, but I think a lot of homeschoolers do. In fact, I think some of us (homeschoolers) are probably more guilty of trying to push our kids too hard. I ruined the first two years of homeschooling my son (we started when he was 12). By golly, all I knew was this one way and I was going to make him do it all. Well, he is kinesthetic and that does not go over well with people like him. God, really got my attention in the last year, and sometimes I was not listening. Now, I am finally getting it. If my son never learns algebra---life will go on. If my son never understands Shakespeare--- life will go on. So on and so forth. I don't even know if this is the cause of your struggle, but it may be---UNnecessary expectations.
sounds like you got alot of great advice. Yes, he is young and there is tons of fun things out. Find out what he wants to learn about. A animal or something, then have him make a lap book of it. In the end do a field trip. Make food and stuff to go with it if you can. Let him have fun. Cooking is school, science, math, reading. Wow there are tons of ways of learning. try something different.
