Laundry was my job as a child, from about 8 or 9 years old, on 'til I moved out at 16. I must admit, it is still one of my favorite chores! Ever since my oldest children were tiny tots, I've tried to involve them as much as possible in all of the chores. So, of course, they were with me, stacking clothes in piles, dumping soap in the washer, turning the knobs as I directed... One day, when my dd was 2 and my ds 3 or 4, I was outside working in the garden, and I guess I didn't think too much of their disappearance. They showed back up after a bit with great big grins on their sunny little faces. "Guess what, Mommy? We did a surprise for you!" Smiling, I asked, "You did?" They couldn't hold it in. Jumping up and down, they said, "We started a load of laundry for you!" "You did?!" I asked with a smile, as I prayed for patience and hoped for the best! "Why don't you show me what you did!" So we went to the house. They showed me where they set the dial to start the load, and what temperature they used for which load they had chosen. "Okay--how much soap did you use?" And they showed me just how they measured it--perfectly! "Wow, cool!" I thought, as I said "Good job--thank you!" And seven years later, they still are my big helpers (the ability grows with the child), and they still love to surprise Mommy! They are capable of more than we give them credit for sometimes! Definitely, the children should help with the laundry! We don't do "mine" or "yours"--it's all "our laundry". Although right now, we are living in a trailer, and things are not exactly normal, here's how we normally do our laundry: I keep a large pillowcase for each type of laundry: darks, lights, towels, sheets, denim (because the heavier cloth is very hard on the more delicate items, like t-shirts). I tried to have the pillowcase design so that it reminded me of the type of laundry inside, plus I took an afternoon long ago to embroider each of those titles on its laundry bag (once named "pillowcase" ). If we are using a drier, rather than a clothesline, it becomes important to separate clothes by "weight", too--lightweight wovens, heavier knits, the quick-drying polyester (like footsie jammies). (We pretty much all wear dark blues and browns, so the color issue is not really applicable to our family. When my baby girl was wearing mostly pink, I did wash a pink load, too.) Every day each family member--yes, even the baby (with sissy's or my help)--brings their own laundry to the hamper. If it is not picked up immediately upon changing the clothes, it becomes a "dropped stitch" to be taken care of before they start their next meal. Resist the temptation to do it the "easy" way--it is not easier in the long run!!!! Don't pick it up for them! Keep a mental note as you walk through the house throughout the day--yes, our minds can be trained, too! :roll: The next step is, at an appointed time each day, separate the laundry into piles, then stuff it into the bags, and put the bags back into the hamper. The new day's round of dirties goes right on top of the pile of bags, not to be forgotten. At a time when we had a smaller hamper, I set up a bucket for the lights; everything else went in the hamper. Everyone was expected to seperate their own clothes that far when they were first brought in. (Sometimes dh cheerfully cooperates with the whole plan, other times the children and I collect his piles for him.) Do not allow little things like zippers not zipped, pant cuffs rolled up (and probably full of grass or sand!), shirt sleeves inside out... Call the children on their little lazy habits. A few seconds apiece saves the laundry person minutes later! (If we plan to hang laundry regularly, everyone is told, and darks are expected to be inside-out--the sun may darken skin, but it bleaches laundry!--otherwise, no inside-out laundry!) As for the actual washing, I've tried all kinds of soaps--powdered, liquid, homemade, storebought. I avoid bleach as much as possible, and I can vouch for vinegar in the rinse--that is what I put in my Downy ball! If your clothes come out staticy (how do you spell that?!), most likely, they were over-dried. Even one pair of polyester socks in a load of knits can wreak static havoc! Anyway, with dh's sensitive skin, we went through lots of itchies. :-x I absolutely love the soap I finally found, which is all-natural, no sls (sodium lauryl or laureth sulfate), no tallow, no toxins whatsoever, and gentle for laundry, showering, dishes, whatever. It's more expensive, but concentrated and healthy for my family. Anyway, you can see for yourself if you want at www.checkthisout.theMastersmiracle.com . I love hanging out the laundry, but sometimes the climate is honestly too damp to keep up with a whole family's laundry, and admittedly, the drier does save on ironing! I hung a special line, just right for my little ones, and taught them to pick out washcloths, napkins, hankies, and their little clothes. I like to wear the clothespins in a pocketed apron, although you can also fix up a little bag to hang on the line by a hook. In windy Nevada, we used lots of pins, or we might have to go to the neighbor's later and collect our wash! Finally, my favorite way to deal with the putting away is to hang everything that will hang, except pj's which don't mind a few wrinkles from folding. And the children and I regularly evaluate our wardrobe. I keep myself 3 everyday outfits, and one Sabbath outfit, and enough socks and underwear for a week (7). The younger (messier ) children need double--6 outfits, 2 for Sabbath, and about 10 sets of socks and underwear. If you'll run out by not being diligent, you're more likely to be diligent--and that 5-mile tall clothing mountain becomes impossible to build in the first place! Happy laundering!
Some things have to be done inside out, though. I just bought some dresses for my little one and the label specifies it's to be washed inside out. My MIL has always washed most of her things inside out, and you can't tell most of her clothes are at least 10 years old.
My son helps out with the laundry. He's great at folding towels and washcloths!!! That's his job. At his tender age of 3 he has his own chores. They are small, but it gives him responsibility. He sets the dinner table, feeds his fish, and folds the towels and washcloths from the laundry. He is also responsible for cleaning up his own room. I do NOT pick up any of his toys and his toys are to be put away after he is done playign with them.
Concerning picking up clothes for them..... My mom thought I was terrible for not picking up DSS's clothes (NOT the one that ended up doing his own laundry!). He had a hamper in his room; he knew I ALWAYS did laundry on Monday. He would lay in bed and toss it TOWARD his hamper. Sometimes he was lucky and it actually WENT IN!!! But when laundry day came, I would take anything in (or even hanging ON!) his hamper and ignore anything lying at the base of it. If I missed his favorite shirt, oh well!!! We also had "discussions" about making his bed. I expected it to be made; he would leave for school without making it. Finally I got fed up. I told him that from now on, it would be made EVERY DAY. I would do it myself if need be. Oh, and BTW, I charge $5 for maid service...... I would extend grace on those rare occasions when he overslept. I'd rather let the bed go than have to drive him to school for missing the bus! The fun time was when I was gone. I had gone somewhere for the night; he expected me to be gone two nights. I came home to his bed not made. He came home to find it not only made, but me asking for my "pay". "BUT I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN"T BE HERE!!!" :razz:
LOL We have a system here of responsibilities and privileges. (hehe You should hear Sami say those words, it's so cute!) It's the idea that with each new year you have new responsibilities and new privileges. So when She turned three she got three new chores (put all the groceries from the shopping cart to the checkout counter, pick up her toys, and put the clean laundry on mommy's bed from the dryer) and three new privileges (half an hour later bedtime, allowed to have non-caffeined sodas, $1 a week allowance). So her 4th B-day is on the 24th so she is thinking each day about what her 4 things will be for the year... I am only stubborn in that I told her that keeping her own room clean HAS to be one of the 4 responsibilities, and I have veto power if she picks something outlandish. I'm not sure how I'll deal with it when she gets to be 12 years old or so, picking 12 new privileges sounds scary when I think about it. but they don't all have to be big things so it shouldn't be so bad.
I'd be more concerned about giving a teen 16 or 17 new privildges, lol! But by that time, they'd have so much responsibility that they'd have no time left!
I don't do the laundry anymore. As part of chores my dd has to wash and , hang out the clothes. She doesn't have very many chores but that is the main one that she has to do everyday. Along with cleaning the kitchen after supper. She is 13 and has been doing this for 2 years now of course I helped her until she turned 13. Now it is her responsibility to make sure that we have clean clothes, and a clean kitchen. She usually does a great job with both. There have been times when she had to reclean the kitchen. When I was 10 I started washing and hanging out the clothes. I also had to vacuum the house and clean the bathrooms, and clean the kitchen. She gets help from me for those. It is never to early to start chores. My children started cleaning their rooms when they were 3 years old, before that I helped them by showing them how it was done. Of course I made the beds, until they were 5 then they started helping me, and at the age of 6 they took over. My ds has to clean the den and the porch after the kittens and dog. He also has to take out the trash and clean his room. He wanted to vacuum so I let him. That has become one of his favorite chores. I want them to know how to take care of their homes when they get out on their own.
I don't make beds unless we have company coming over. Then again, I don't even make ours because nobody sees our bedroom. I was never one for making beds even when I was younger.
Jackie, You asked about the extra laundry, since my oldest is doing his own. He doubles up his clothes, so doesn't do as many loads as the rest of the family does, since he, of course, has less clothes. It may even be one big load, or sometimes he adds his jeans or something to our loads. It's not a big deal. The main idea was to get him used to doing it on his own. We did the laundry as a family up until a couple of years ago, but I want him to have the habit of doing his own laundry, keeping the house in order (including cleaning out sinks and toilets!) and fixing meals before he goes out on his own so he's well prepared. I think the more skills they can learn while they're still at home the better! Going out on your own AND having to learn new things like that, that should have been learned earlier, is just setting them up for more problems than they should have to deal with! He's much more responsible about these things now and I feel he's prepared, and will be even more so, by the time he actually leaves. We're not going to be the kind to push'em out the door when they turn a certain age or whatever, though, they're welcome as long as they are leading a productive life and being a positive family member. That reminds me.....My husband works with a guy who just took in an 18 year old friend of their son's. The day after he graduated from highschool his parents kicked him out of the house saying they'd done their part and he was on his own now!!! Can you believe that?! They hadn't prepared them, as we have been talking about, and gave him no money or vehicle, so he was in bad shape! I hope he does okay!
Wow htat is harsh! I had a friend that was kicked out at 18 (Her mom gave her a month after her Birthday to leave.) And I always thought that was harsh, but She at least knew from her 13th birthday that it would be that way and so was ready for it, she had a job by then, money saved, apps to college etc.
You'd think they'd prepare him, help him find a job, etc., like that, but apparently it was, "Congratulations, now get out!" I just can't imagine that! So now this guy my husband works with and his wife are being sort of surrogate (is that the right word?)parents. They're helping him find a job, giving him a place to stay until he can save some money, and listening to and supporting him emotionally as well! Glad they are able to do that for him!
I wouldn't throw too many bouquets at this husband and wife until you know the other side of the story. I love my Kevin with all my heart, but there have been too many days lately when the only thing keeping me from driving him to the rescue mission is my mom. Kevin dismisses any attempts I make at trying to prepare him for life outside here. There's plenty he could do as he heals from his surgery and goes through therapy, but he won't. Tough love isn't tough enough for his brand of baloney!
Seems to be a theme lately. (and I agree, Becky, there are situations that call for it) Often you don't hear the truth from the newly homeless. There is a guy I work with who is in his early twenties and lives at home still. He has a brother who was just kicked out for being disrespectful, lazy, ungrateful and the list goes on. Well, he suckered a family into buying his sob story and after just a few months they kicked him out, too! It might be interesting to see just how that whole thing plays out, Deena. It usually doesn't take too long to figure out the parents' side of it.
I spent my late teen years living with my aunt, and I was in my first apartment 3 days after my highschool graduation. (My mom and step dad paid the deposite and the first rent) but I was on my own from there. I had two first jobs and was coing to college all at the same time.
Just wanted to say, it is so good to hear from other parents on issues before they come--the good, the bad--it really helps in planning both the future and the present!
What I posted came out differently than I meant it. Yes, the husband and wife deserve kudos for helping this kid. They're using their home, time and money to help a kid that's not theirs. However, I wonder why the real parents made him leave? Mothers especially aren't usually in a hurry to be rid of their kids.
Well laundry is an interesting subject. My house burned down a few months back. It is the laundry mat for me. My husband works in the automotive salvage buisness. I take his really dirty clothes to the car wash and spray them down with degreaser.I spray them down with a regular rinse. Then I take them to the laundry mat and wash them in the washer and wash as normal. If you have clothes with ink,paint,blood or oil pretreat it with gojo. I know mymethods are a little strange but they work.
I can't imagine just kicking a kid out. I can see making him get a job. Making him help with the bills.Give him time to get stable before making him move out.My Samson was collecting aluminum cans,paying his sisters to help.He bought his first bicycle with his own money when he was five. He had an understanding of how money works. He has always had what he wanted and I didn't have to buy it for him.
