One of the most frequently asked questions about Homeschooling that I hear is, "How do your kids adjust socially?" Many people feel that homeschool children are sheltered and have no friends. Please share your thoughts and experiences with this issue. What do you say to people when they use this as an argument against Homeschooling?
I give them a blank look and say "I don't understand your question". That gives them the chance to insult us or back away.
I usually laugh at them and throw off some retort about how I'm trying raise social retards. (okay, maybe not always). My children are VERY social, talk to anyone, and everyone regardless of age. The biggest thing about this is, they can carry on a conversation with an adult, with a peer, and with a younger child the exact same way. With no fear. My parents (who were almost vehemently against us homeschooling in the beginning) always comment on how well versed, and conversational my children are without being weird, and that they're NOT AFRAID to talk to anyone about anything (within reason of course, they have an appropriate amount of stranger danger awareness). And they listen! My parents took all of their grandkids to a museum last year. They were ASTOUNDED by the fact that my kids wanted to do the tour and learn all the stuff, and they listened, and asked questions, and were curious, while the rest of the grandkids played on their DS's, cell phones and iPods, and were rude and talked, etc. during the tour. I would also say, that school should not be about socialization, but about learning. We take care of our learning so that we have time for TRUE socialization.
Usually people ask me, "What about socialization?" I stole my answer from someone here... I say, "Don't worry, I routinely beat them up, steal their money, give them swirlies, and stuff them into lockers so they get the whole public school socialization experience." Funny story: A friend and her 4yo son joined me on an errand. The total drive time was 1 1/2 hours, plus the time there (about 30 minutes). The whole time... I mean the WHOLE time my children were talking up a storm to her and her son. Her son (who is the same age as one of mine) never said a single word, not even to my boys. We were nearly home when homeschooling came up. She said, "Aren't you worried they won't know how to interact with people?" Um.... I couldn't really answer. I just stared blankly. Really? Where have you been the last two hours!? HA!
I always recommend they take a visit to the local jail, ask where they did their schooling, and then get back to me on how 'socialized' all public school kids are.
To tell you the truth no one has ever asked me this. Now on my own I have to make a point to find things and places for my son to interact with kids his age. He gets plenty of interaction with adults and older kids, due to the fact that he has two older siblings in ps. Now I would not go as far as telling someone to go visit the local jail, because there are kids who hsled and not in jails. I am not saying ps is better, but for some kids it is. I would probably tell them that it is not a main concern of mine. I know my child will get interaction through sports, family and friends. The same way any other child does. I know i would not try to throw the ps thing as someone who has children in ps, because that is there choice just like hsling is mine. Also not all ps interactions are bad. None of my older kids have had too much bulling or such.
I love Amie's answer. LMBO. I've had one person tell me she didn't like the idea of homeschooling because "you can't get teach your kids socialization anywhere"... and this conversation came up right after she told me she would have loved to have been able to homeschool her kids... i think i was talking to a crazy lady. Anyways, I didn't really know what to say... but I did tell her that Travin had plenty of friends, & had no problems interacting with all kinds of people. We were talking about this as her 5 year old hid behind her, and my 3 year old tried to talk to the 5 yr old. hmmm.
I didn't until that friend. And that was just about four months ago. Then right after that I had another lady. It turned out she had homeschooled her kids, but wanted to see how I would react if she challenged me on socialization :roll:
It's totally silly really. So long as there are interactions with other human beings they will socialize howsoever fits with their individual personalities. It's not like we are leaving them with wolves to fend for themselves for the next sixteen years! C'mon.
I think I would fall into the laugh at them or with them because my kids have a lot of friends, no all thier age but ds likes to hang with older kids, dd with slightly younger and older kids, cause kids her age are boring, and catty,
Oh man I hate that S word. It sucks. I usually tell them go fly a kite and if they don't have one I will go get them one to fly.
Let's not forget that not all PS kids have a plethora of friends. The term socialization itself means to learn how to be in society not with peers. So the question then becomes, is PS the only place to learn socialization? If so that's a scary thought!
Obviously, this person would have never met my children because they would talk to a fencepost. I constantly get comments from total strangers about how well mannered, well behaved and interesting they are. And they don't have their face buried in a cell-phone texting constantly.
I seriously do not understand this question. I cannot tell you how often I have encountered kids, little ones on up to high school age, that cannot carry on a conversation beyond yes/no/grunt. My kids are not afraid to talk to adults, whether at Church or in the grocery store. From a young age they have been enrolled in art, music, and dance classes. We've given them opportunities to interact with adults when they were little (like paying for their own purchases, answering the phone, making phone calls, etc) so they are 'aware' of social graces. They get together with friends, call, use IM/text. I mean the only thing that's different about them is where they do their schoolwork. We've been HS 10 years and at first I got this question alot. Since my dd is doing high school this year, the question is now "What about the Prom???" I'm like "That's the best you can do??? The prom???" The other day someone asked my dd that question, and she said that when she finishes high school we're taking her on a cruise to celebrate. Yeah, that beats Prom in anybody's book!! HA!
I have never been questioned about their socialization. My boys will talk to anyone though, and I'm sure someday it'll come up but until then I have no idea how I'll react.
I like that answer. I have never been asked that question. My dad did ask me a few years ago, "If you don't let your boys watch or read ____________ (fill in the blank) how will they be able to talk to other people their age?" I told him, "Dad, if that is ALL the other people their age can talk about, I don't think my boys will want to talk to them!"
My husband was asked that one time by a gentleman whose wife was considering homeschooling. This man didn't know us or our children. He was a friend of DH's brother, at a birthday party for my nephew. This man was also a public high school English teacher in the same district my husband taught high school math in, though not at the same school. Carl looked him straight in the eye, told him to spend just five minutes on Monday in the school lunchroom watching the "socialization" that was going on around him. Just sit and observe. Then "call me and we can discuss whether that is the kind of socialization you want for your daughter". The guy never took him up on it; he didn't have to. He knew exactly what my husband meant! Homeschooled kids are not socially isolated. My children are active in church activities, organized sports, homeschool co-op, library activities. They have in the past also been involved with 4-H. My middle one hopes to be on a Legos Robotics team this year. My oldest has just come home from a mission trip to Jamaica, and all three have gone to camp this summer.
The question to me was worded slightly different. They asked, "How's he going to deal with real life if he hasn't been exposed to _________? He has to learn to deal with that sort of thing!" My reply, "Exactly how do you learn to deal with mental anguish, physical torment and all the bullying? When you can answer that question, I'll answer yours." End of discussion. Marty
