Ok, I know I should not worry what others think about my decision to homeschool. I shouldn't feel the need to defend what I'm doing. However, that is just not my nature! Here is a little about what is going on. My brother and I have always been very close. We have been through a lot together. He and his family built their house next to ours in a rural area. Our oldest boys are the same age and started Kindergarten together. I had always wanted to hs but started him out in ps anyway. By Christmas I knew I wanted to hs but let him finish up the year. We started hs'ing in 1st grade and now he is in 2nd. Now I'll tell you about my brother. He is a very talented artist who has always done his own thing. He would work on his own and sell pieces but wasn't making a lot of money. So, a job became available as an art teacher at the high school. He applied sort of reluctantly and got the job. He initially hated it and wished he had never taken it. He told me he wished he was hs'ing after seeing how the kids at the high school behaved and said it was awful. Now 1 1/2 years later, the school loves him and he has done great things there. however, he now has his head up in the clouds and thinks all the students are great. Now all of the sudden the students and school is perfect and there is no bullying or drug problems. He is constantly making remarks about my poor kids not being socialized and missing out and so on. Now, I know this is ridiculous because my kids can talk to anyone at any age and can get along with anyone. He says they need to be exposed to the things that may go on in order to learn to deal with things in life. He even went behind my back and talked to my parents about it. When they told him how advanced my kids are compared to others my brother got defensive. He and his wife don't work with teaching their kids stuff at home. They will tell you straight up that they leave that to the school. He also talked to my son and told him how much he would like school and he should go back. I just hate that this has brought distance between us and I'm at a loss as to how to sufficiently defend hs'ing. I just want them to see some actual statistics or something to prove my points. I am just frustrated and wonder if anyone has any advice. Thanks for listening!
I'm always a firm believer in the fact that whoever makes the claim must defend it. If you've made no claim about homeschooling, you're not the one who has to defend her position. Your brother HAS apparently made claims about homeschooling. He is the one in the defensive posture, not you. When he makes a claim, force him to defend it. Make him find the statistics to back up his position. Make him prove that your children are unsocialized [first question there would be--- what exactly do you mean by that term: socialization]. Just keep asking questions and don't ever make a claim yourself. The Socratic Method will wear anyone down-- and pretty quickly. He made the claim; make him be the defendant.
The best defense is NO DEFENSE!!! Basically, the decision belongs to you and your husband. Tell him thank you very much, but it's not open for discussion. PERIOD. It's time to revisit the "Bean Dip" approach to homeschooling: http://goybparenting.com/?page_id=28
Great info on the hslda site. Thanks. Jackie, I think I'll be taking the bean dip approach so thank you for sharing that link.
You might need a little more than bean dip, because he's doing more than expressing an opinion. I think he crossed the line when he try to persuade your children that they were missing out by not going to public school. He doesn't need to understand or agree with your parenting decisions, but he needs to respect them and acknowledge your authority to make those decisions and his lack of authority to interfere.
I agree. He can have is own opinion, but I would talk with him about trying to influence your child. That is a no-no in my book. If he doesn't comply with your wishes I would limit contact. My dh said something to me the other day that hit home. He said the only opinion he cared about was the three little people asleep upstairs.
