Hi! I am new here. I have 5 kids, 3 are at home and 2 are in school. I am having a very hard time with my 10 y/o. He takes forever to complete his work. It is not that he can't do it, or that it is too much. When we started at the beginning of the year, he was doing 6 times the work! Now he hardly gets through his math. He is slow to start. Then once he does start he will get up, daydream, play around, you name it, he does it. When I tell him to get going he says I am mean and throws his arms up in the air. We are trying to do a fun lapbook about Christmas, but he is not into it. I have so many fun ideas, but he shoots them all down. ALL HE did yesterday was Math. He started at 10 and still was working on it at 3:30! I am at my breaking point.(he of course was not actually doing it that whole time!) If he could do 6 different things back in October, why can't he do them now? What can I do to get him to complete his work faster? I can't sit next to him the whole day. He IS old enough to do most of his work on his own. I only give him about 2-3 hours of work, but it takes him 5-6 hours to complete ONE subject. Has anyone ever experienced this? HELP!:cry:
You need to talk to Ohio Gma!! Her dgs is just a little older and it sounds like what she is going through with him. I have the feeling that part of it is the age! I have had 3 sick kiddos for 2 weeks so I have no input right now but I know the ladies here will have some good advice! Btw, welcome to the Spot but watch out as it is very addictive!!
My kids have dragged their heels a few times. But...........I tell them that they know what is required of them and they can do it in 4 hours or they can take all day, the decision is theirs. Once they realized that after they finished their required school work, they could do as they pleased. So if they did their school work in a timely manner, it was self rewarding in many ways. KWIM? Hope that helps!
You are not alone!!! What is it about 10 yo boys? Because my ds is 10, we know quite a few boys this age. It is like something in their brain just shuts down. We consistently spend the first few minutes of "school time" in tears (both of us. We have been doing this school thing for 6 years now but he still seems surprised every morning when I say it is time to get busy. I have 2 suggestions. First one, while it does not change his speed, saves my sanity. Ignore him. Give him the assignments and if he takes all day, so be it. I have done this with some success. After a while he sees that his sisters are doing fun things in the afternoon and he is missing out. I, of course, plan really fun things. Lately, eventhough he still has trouble getting going, he has been zooming through his lessons. I enrolled him in a web based program and he really likes it. Maybe if you change your curriculum up, he will get excited again.
U need to sit back, take a deep breath, take a break and say ok we all need a few days to think this over refresh our minds then come back to it. Thats the joys of homeschooling you can break when you need one. Being this time of the year no ones mind is where its suppose to be. So, take a break, let him rest a few days. then hopeful he will be ready to jump right in again..
I agree with everyone! Kris was right - step back, breath and take a small break. I also think it does have a lot to do with age and boys! My dd11 hates math with a passion but as I have told her it is something she must learn whether she likes it or not. Set the timer on him and give him consequences for not completing the work in the specified time. My dd hates to be grounded so that works for her. Apparently sitting in her room is equivalent to the end of the world. Use what works for him.
Candy? (Mine is only 7 though!) If that doesn't get her going, I threaten to give her MORE work, and that seems to motivate her (like writing!). Of course, I'm not sure either of these options will last forever, but it gets us through the tougher days.
Maybe he is going through a phase of some sort or is distracted by the holidays and the fact that other kids are out of school. Maybe some hormones are kicking in and he has trouble concentrating now. Either way, fun is not working, I would try not-fun. Perhaps stripping his work down to the academic basics would work best for him at this point. Math problems, Lang. Arts exercises, reading assignments, Science reading and questions, ditto history. Have is breakfast habits changed. Is he eating an all carb breakfast where he once ate meat or eggs or cheese. An all carb breakfast can leave kids with low blood sugar about 60-90 mins later. Is he getting more exercise in the evenings than he used to, staying up later, playing computers before bed, movies? I would look for such environmental factors as well and try to recreate what was going on when he was doing better. It is said that boys have a harder time with homeschooling as they age due to a need to be around other boys for competition etc. Maybe he has a crush on some female. There could be any number of emotional things going on as well. Using setting a timer and having him work for so many minutes on and so many off would help. ...........A bigger hammer. LOL
A friend of mine has a 10 year old boy who is the same way. If she walks out of the room, she returns to pages of doodles and not work. lol. My kids have a tendency to be the same way. I would struggle with spending ALL day on just a few subjects. I would feel so behind. So, this is what I did...not saying it will work for you. I thought about why kids get their work done in school....what was the motivation. Well, because they simply cannot have all day to do one subject. When we talk about the flexibility of homeschooling we are not speaking to allowing our goals to out out the window and do what comes that day. I almost felt as if they should go to school and that they did not respect me. Well...back to what I did. I decided to set a timer for each subject. From say 9:00-9:45 is math time. Not done at 9:45? Too bad...we are moving on. Whatever does not get completed in that timeframe given will be work that has to be completed after school. NO kid wants homework. Once the school day was over...they had to do all the work they were lazy about. No tv, no snacks, no computer, no talking, no nothing. Just get it done. Even that was timed. I would increase the amount of work the next day along with the work not completed if they still did not get it done. That never happened. LOL. Once they were on timer...they got it done..no problem. If they were working on a project...that is a bit different as far as structure or "punishment". I allow extra time for projects. Anyway...after that I have had no problems. Not sure if I will experience this problem again...possibly. However, I will stick to the plan and a note home to daddy...hee hee...will solve it all.
That's when you need to get the "principal" involved. Tell him that he has so much time to finish. (Make this a reasonable amount, and then add a little more to that!) Then, when the timer goes off, he is done. (OK, if he only has one more to do and has been working consistently, you can show some grace here!). Move on to the next subject. The rest can be finished as "homework". Of course, there's no TV until the "homework" is finished! So he learns that, if he plays around, there will not be any TV or Computer or outside with friends or Video Games until it is finished. Don't argue with him; tell him that if he doesn't want to work now, that's fine. He can do it tonight instead. With Rachael, I told her she could do it later that evening around 6:00. After a minute, she reminded me, "But I have Soccer Practice at 6!!!" I smiled sweetly and said, "Then I guess you'll have to call Coach and explain why you won't be making it...." Needless to say, her work got done VERY quickly!
Ava, I'm not sure what did the trick...her missing practice, orthe idea of calling Coach to explain WHY she was missing practice. (And this coach was one who would have given her what-for for not getting her school work done!!!)
Maybe he isn't confident about what he is doing right now? Perhaps he thinks that his time struggle means he is dumb and this turns him off to school? I have noticed that whenever my 10 yr old drags his feet it always relates to him not completely understanding something. He's very good about getting his work done this year, but believe me we've had years where he would sit there all day as well. His attitude did a complete 180 when we got his test results back for last year - he did so well and was so proud of himself that I truly believe he now sees himself as a smart and capable instead of unsure and dumb. Not that he was ever dumb...but his perception and my perception, two different things some times. I would try doing some easy stuff to boost confidence. Go back over math from earlier this year, give him easier books to read, so some more art/music/sports etc. He'll be able to complete the easier work faster and this will boost confidence. If there is one thing I've learned over the years about homeschooling it is that knowledge doesn't always need to be measured in books and math problems. Sometimes you must give them what they want/need and leave the academics for a few weeks. If you're offering Christmas stuff at home, try offering Christmas stuff in the form of a field trip - go to a living nativity and call it Bible, learn about the different types of Christmas trees in your area nd then go pick one out and call it botany, make pine cone bird feeders and learn about the solstice and call it art/nature, look for MARS!!!! It's big this year, you barely need binoculars! Then after doing fun stuff away from home, follow up with small bits of learning at home. make up your own worksheets tailored to his needs/abilities/interests. Anyway - good luck!
It is all about finding the "hot button". Not finished... so sad we will put you in our lunch time pray while you finish up. There is also two sides to a coin - it the work is too hard then they won't work and if the work is too easy they are bored and won't work. Ask him why he is taking so long? If he says "don't know" then say ok well this is our new plan I have laid out how many minutes we will spend on each subject and you can pick which "core" you want to do first. Of course don't put the fun stuff in there. Mine will jump through hoops to get to science stuff. Take a deep breath, have a peaceful bath and know that like all stages our kids go through....it too shall pass. lol
I had to check and make sure I did not start this thread! Lol I am not joking! This has been my 10 yr son this month! He was doing so awesome and then suddenly it seemed he slowed down and is not into it and fusses a lot... not sure what to do about it myself but keep working it, we are taking a break for about half days next week then a week off at least.... so maybe when we come back I will set up school differntly, course then dh will be on swing so that will help I am sure! I am also going to get a multiplication chart up for him , have him help make it maybe even, and then he can enjoy using it during class... I am thinking of this because he said they should have a HUGE multiplication chart on a wall with like up to 50 times a number... well maybe we can do up to 20 that would be fun! I will make the chart up and let him fill in the spaces he will think its art but it will be teaching him math! In regards to the lap books My ds 10 didn't like all the work he saw it taking, so I switched, we are doing similar work but putting it all in his binder page by page, week or day by week or day..it seemed to help him enjoy his studies but not feel overwhelmed either?
First, I would stop trying to make the work fun. Second, I would simply sit him down and require that he work at a given subject until he finishes it. Then he gets some kind of fun thing to do. shoot baskets. throw rocks...whatever. then its back to work again. is he goal oriented? Third, I wouldn't be afraid to whack his rear a couple of times with a stout stick. :shock: but it ain't easy. best wishes.
kwim= knwo what I Mean? Also I have done the this or else, it usually gets a loud round of tears, and my dh sleeps days so I try to solve it before it gets to that point. I gave him a packet last week he had to finish it in the week and he did! IN fact he did more than that because two days he forgot and took out his book and did work in Math and English the books instead of the pages I pulled! Which means he is ahead now, but shhhhhhhhh dont tell him that!
Yep! Jennifer and a lot of others know what a time I have had with Elijah. He hates school. We changed from doing school in the day to the evening when the "principle" gets home from work. We do our devotions and Bible in the morning and then he gets some homework done. We are usually done by 10-11am depending on how much homework he has. Then at 5:00pm, we start with our subjects on DVD. We use Abeka DVD program. He gets into it and gets it done, but of course the "principle" is here. Maybe you can try changing it.
I have done this with success too. But it takes determination in buckets not to let them beat you. I find it helps to be in another room folding laundry or something to maintain my sanity while I wait him out!
