I think if Em's dance school ever got to the point where people were cutting each other down, I would pull her out as well. You would think that the parents would want to work together for the benefit of the children.
Yeah, you'd think! There are so many parents who are so into their child doing well that THEY are the ones with the problems, not the kids! That's sad to me. We've stayed out of a lot of team sports because of that.
Last year, Rachael's WONDERFUL soccer coach who she had for several years decided to let his daughter go out for Select. He suggested (strongly) that we encourage Rachael to try out, too. We didn't for those exact reasons! For us, soccer is a GAME. Sure, I love to see them win, but I want them to have fun. I didn't want my whole life to be centered around soccer constantly, I didn't want to deal with over-competitive parents, and the "must win" attitude. She's on a team now that is a bit higher calliber than before. They had a game today. It ended in a tie, but both teams played their hearts out, and the coaches were VERY encouraging. (Some parents of the other team were a bit much for me, but there's always one or two!)
(((huga))) I understand where you are coming from. While I have never had a friend go that extreem. I have had friends that were just plain difficult to be around cause all they wanted to do was grill me and my children about the decision instead of having a good time. For some reason people take it as an attact on them if you choose to do something different than they do. I dont' know why. In the country where we are suppose to repect eachothers diversity I see a huge hypocrocy when it comes to anything homeschooling. (((hugs))) maybe a conversation will amend the friendship. If not I hope you find new friends that will respect your choices.
Thank you all for your feedback and kind words of support. I will speak to my husband when he gets home from his hunting trip tonight and try to make sense of it all and figure out how we want to approach this whole mess. I will let you know how it all turns out. About dance and other competitive sports...... I think some people tend to live vicariously through their children. I spoke with a woman last weekend whose daughter is on a different dance team that competes against the one my daughter was on. She was gushing about how this year her child has a solo and they are at the studio everyday and also that they are trying to get her into modeling. Well my daughter was playing with her daughter on Saturday (we were all out at our land and they were some of many that had been invited to go dove hunting - her husband is one of my husband's clients). So my daughter tells me later that the little girl was really nice and they ahd fun playing. I asked if they talked about dance and she said the other girl had told her she hates it and wants to take karate but her mom makes her dance. I thought that was so sad but so typical of so many parents. I just want my children to be happy, healthy, well adjusted individuals and if they never win a prize or award that's fine with me.
OK, so let me ask a question about dance. Faythe is in dance, and has been since age 4. It's a Christian dance group. Her age has two classes. Faythe's class, and another that is try-out or invitation only. And it's fine with me that she's not been invited to join the other dance. Realistically, if you watched her, you would understand why! She's beginning to say that she might want to do something else now. Both Phillip and Rachael play soccer, but Faythe's not particularly interested in ANY sports. She's thinking of art, which actually might be a great match for her. But Carl and I aren't sure we want her to give up the dance. We feel she needs to be doing something active, KWIM? Especially since her body type could easily go toward heavy if she were allowed to become inactive. So what do you think? Should we continue encouraging her to keep up with the dance AND maybe add the art? Or do we let her drop out of dance if she wants? What about wanting her to stay active? We ARE trying to ride bikes as a family, but it's sporadic.
Jackie, I'm not sure what's available for exercise there, but you certainly want to keep her active! Right after Daddy leaves in the morning, we do exercises for about 20-30 minutes. If it's light enough and warm enough outside (since it's just after 6:30 a.m. when we are exercising), then we go out and do jumping jacks, run up and down the driveway a few times (our driveway is about 3 car lengths long and has a slant), jog down to the stop sign a ways down the road, sometimes the kids ride their bikes back and forth wehere I can clearly see them while I jog back and forth on the road, etc. If it's too cold, then we do sit-ups, push-ups, jumping jacks, or run around the center part of our house (the dog always joins us, so it can get pretty interesting! ), or something like that. I got up to 45 sit-ups and 25 push-ups, and 600 jumping jacks, all at one exercise session, last year. Not in as good of shape now, but we're getting back to it. See, I HAD to do that cuz my oldest and I were challenging each other. One would do a certain amount and say, "Beat THAT!" So we'd work at it until we DID beat that, etc. It was a healthy challenge, literally, and helped us have a good relationship! All that said, I think if she is interested in art, that taking the class could help her see if that's something she has a talent for and would like to pursue! When my dd was 4, she asked if she could play the violin. When she was 6 we found a place where two moms teach homeschool kids string lessons and orchestra. I put my dd and her older brother in, and they enjoyed it, though they did the Suzuki method and progress was very slow. The next year, ds switched to cello, which he loves, but we were only able to go part of the year. Then last year we joined again, and had a very good year. Over the summer, dd came to me and said, "Mommy, I think God has given me a talent for singing, and I would love to take voise lessons so I can better use that talent for God!" WOW! She said those actual words---how could I refuse that? So she is not doing violin and is doing voice lessons. She LOVES her voice teacher and the lessons! This same teacher is now teaching my ds-15 piano. She is GREAT! She's really helping him expand and grow in his abilities. He needed a change in teachers to keep growing, and I'm so glad I found her! So dd does voice, then right after that, ds does piano. So it works out well. My cello player is still going to be in Homeschool Strings. It startes this coming week. Okay, all this I'm saying is that I feel if you let them follow their interests, to a certain extent, that they do so much better! So she'll have to do SOME sort of active thing, but doing the art class, I feel , would be a really good thing for her!
Wow Tiffany, I was reading your post again and you do pay a lot for dance. Our monthly fee is $35.00 a month and the competition fees differ depending on the location and what other studio is sponsoring it. We also have the cost of the costume but I can't think of anything else. Money sometimes gets tight around here and we have considered taking Ems out but then we think off how much she enjoys it. The teacher told us that if Ems desired to pursue it to the point of trying to become a professional dancer then the cost would only go up with time because she would be required to compete in many competitions and start taking private lessons as well as other forms of dance. She is still young so the idea of being a professional dancer might just be short lived but we decided we do not want to quench her flame. If she gets tired then we will not push it. But you never know. Jackie, I think allowing your daughter to drop dance would be alright as long as she has an outlet. Like Deena said, you can do something together. You never know, you might have a female Thomas Kinkade on your hands. A few years ago I was watching Montel Williams at my sisters house and they had a very talented 11 year old who painted so well that she was selling her art work for over $7,000. a picture to famous people. Like I said, you never know.
I pity all the kids in this situation. Kids don't get the neuroses(sp?) adults do, they have such accepting souls. I hope that family at least allows the kids to interact.
My daughter seemed to have a natural talent for dance and I hate that we could no longer afford it but it was really expensive and it was in the best interest for our family as a whole. We can do more things now that we didn't have the money for before with paying as much as we were for dance. My daughter is also very interested in art and she also seems to have a talent for it. I think some form of art or music such as piano is fabulous. My mother, grandfather and cousin all taught music and voice. As a child I loved gymnasstics but my mom said that if I wated to pursue that I also had to pursue piano. I am so thankful that she made me do that because now I have several talents. I am enrolling my daughter in twice monthly art classes next month sand she will also be taking gymnastics. Jackie - gymnastics may be great for her. If she doesn't have an interest in dance I wouldn't push it but I do agree that kids need an outlet. Gymnastics can be very low key in that you can take a class once a week, it is cost efficient, its fun without the presure, and it is a great form of exercise. Oh yeah and its much cheaper than I have been paying for dance!!! Either way I would encourage her with her art work. I try to let my kids try everything they can because you never know what they may have a talent in. I just know from my own experience that if you have a passion for something it you have to feed it.
Becky - I am not sure what you meant when you said you pitty the kids in this situation and you hope this family allows the kids to interact. Which situation and which family? I am just asking because I don't want to misunderstand what you are saying and I am not sure what you are responding to. This topic went from negative reactions from friends on homeschooling to dance and activities so I just want to be sure.
You know what? I do have it kind of wrong. The family that treated you so bad has a 5 yr old, right? I thought they had kids who went to activities with yours prior to you h.s.ing. See what I mean? I reread your first post and I saw where I was wrong. Sorry. That's what I get for being on here when I should be in bed.
Oh I see Becky. No they weren't in any activities together. Their daughter just turned 5 and they live across the street from us. Our families just did a lot together and so our kids were together a lot.
