As most of you know one my boys learns differently from most children. I have used just about everything out there and tried to pull some tricks out of a hat to teach him. It has always been a struggle most days to teach him. He is a visual learner. He is easily distracted and agitated by noise when learning. We have to be super quiet during school time. I knew early on that he had signs of dyslexia. My brother has this so I knew what to look for. The boys were born at 35 weeks gestation. He has always been somewhat behind in hitting milestones. When we started homeschooling at four years, I knew he wasn't close to being ready. I did little things with him in hopes that at five he would be more prepared. His resistance on a daily basis to learn anything new was frustrating. I wanted to wait another year to work with him but could not as he had a twin brother that was far exceeding him in all areas. In my family's eyes that just couldn't happen. No one would listen to me and gave me grief about him. When he was five no one but me could understand his speech. Even his dad would ask me what he was saying. I wanted to get him speech therapy very early on but we could not financially do it. I worked very hard getting him to speak properly. There are still some words out there that he has a hard time saying. Here we are many years later and I still feel like we are at square one with him. Today I literally sobbed grading his math paper. He just turned 17 a couple weeks ago and still does not know basic math skills. He does very well in Science, History, Geography, Some Economics and Civics. He struggles with Language and Math. We have been doing the same math lesson forever and each time he does it he fails it. He forgets what he is supposed to be doing. I'm talking simple stuff like lining up decimals when adding and subtracting, rounding numbers, multiplying with decimals. He still tries to subtract big numbers from small numbers. You can forget dividing. He does understand and grasp the concept of fractions thank God. He does not grasp the concept of place value, decimals, and oh my throw a comma in there and he's totally lost. Today I wrote out step by step some helpful hints that I have told him and taught him for years on paper. In small bite size words so he would understand. I only asked him to correct the first portion of his paper that he got wrong. Saving the rest for the next few days. He had seven problems to correct he still missed four, FOUR. Still making the same mistakes. I don't know what to do. We are getting ready to move to another country and he still doesn't know or comprehend basic math skills to function here let alone another country. I'm frustrated to tears knowing that he may never get it. This is what I have used over the years. Abeka, Alpha and Omega, Saxon, Math U See, Ace Paces, Khan Academy, various online games, worksheets, workbooks, nothing but life skills at times, a game like Hooked on Math when they were younger. I don't care if he doesn't learn Algebra and the higher math. I just want him to learn and comprehend basic math skills. I want to be able to give him an assignment and have him do it without asking me a million questions. My son is different, I understand that and I get it. He's not always easy to work with. He is a great kid though, when he wants to be. I want him to have a bright future and be able to take care of himself and his family. I don't think I'm asking to much. Sorry for the rambling but no one in real life knows how I'm feeling or understands.
Personally, I think I would throw out the math books and work on "life skills" math instead. If he hasn't gotten by now, it sounds like it's not going to get any easier. I would work with him on practical things like measurements for cooking, balancing a checkbook, things like that that he will need on a regular basis.
I agree with Jennifer. Work on life math... I have a nefew like your son, he could not pass math for nothing.. kept failing the same grade in PS 3 yrs in a row... teachers did not understand why but his mom knew he just did not have the understanding... so she had him do simple math stuff... he does ok... has finished school but he will never be able to go to college since he just can't get more complicated stuff.
Concentrating on life skills math is great but it sounds like that's where the issues are-decimal points, place value, adding & subtracting. I understand your concern and feel for your situation. I'm not sure what else you could do at this point. There is that learning disorder, like dyslexia, but for math..can't think of the name. I wonder if you could ask for advice from the local school district. You know, the kids are entitled to support from them even though they are homeschooled. It's some federal law. Maybe ask to speak to a special ed teacher and see if they can offer any advice.
Thanks everyone. I have spoken with some teachers about this and they look at me like I have two heads. Unfortunately where I live the school districts look down on homeschoolers and are of no beneficial assistance. I'm going to concentrate on life skills and see how he does. Things like balancing a check book and figuring out how much money he will need to buy something. He knows how to cook some things and how to follow a recipe so that is covered. I did notice the other day while we were out he had asked his dad about getting paid some money that was owed to him. When his dad responded with a much lower figure than he knew what was expected he quickly asked about the balance of it. I was shocked and almost fell out of my chair cause he knew just how much more was needed. I also got a little miffed but didn't show it and thought to myself, if he can do that out of school why can't he do it in school? I didn't say anything positive or negative to him about it. I didn't want him to know that I was paying attention cause he would have had a melt down. A seventeen year old boy having a melt down in public is not pretty. For what it's worth we know we are not dealing with an average seventeen year old. We have estimated his age at maybe 12-13 based on maturity and things he does and says. Thanks for everyone's input. I'm going to put away the book and work with life skills. I'm sure I can still throw some place value and decimal lessons on him without him know it. Who knows he may excel to the point of passing basic skills on a test if he needs to. Thanks again.
I feel for you and I think you are right to just focus on life skills. It is hard, because you want to make sure he can "make it" in the real world. I believe he will, but he may need a little more time. He may even need some sort of mentor if possible to help him out. I have no idea how to go about finding one, but maybe some other people have ideas out there.
I would work on Life Skills of all kinds, but focus on math. My first thought when you wrote about everyone giving you flack about him being behind when his twin brother was excelling was "But out of it!" I'm terribly sorry for this, but that's what I immendiately thought. You are teaching him the best you possibly can, and he is trying his absolute best, rest assured, and you know that too. I don't know where you live, but we have an assistance program we are getting for Patryk. It's from Albany Regional and they will help us out with therapies, and so on. If you could find an organization like this where you live it would be a tremendous help! Is he specifically diagnosed with anything? Many places like to have a disgnosis before figuring out what is needed and where. Do you use the other kids to help teach him? Could his brother help him out or his sisters? Maybe their bond with him could help out, and perhaps they could give him a new perspective. I know there were times when I could take my brother aside (He had autism) and help him with schoolwork and concepts that his aides and teachers couldn't get accross. Maybe the older sister could take him for a ride somewhere he likes and sneak some math in their trip. I will be praying that things get better for you and your family, and that God be expecially present with you in these trying times. Edited to say: We have spoken with teachers about Patryk too, and thye haven't been especially nice about helping us out. Once they found out that we homeschooled it was all over for them helping us. We tried hard to tell them that it wasn't therapists that taught Pat what he knew, it was US working 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. It got back to us that their opinion was that us homeschooling him was what has caused his deficits in the first place. We have never spoken to ANYONE in the school system again (besides my MIL who is a 6th grade teacher, but we never tell her anything about what we are doing, really).
Our 15 year old foster son is similar (except he has no concept of the value of money)... I am now plugging him into Aleks for basic math skills (he did the assessment yesterday and didn't pass 6th grade which is fine - he can start there) and I also loaded up the Personal Finance Literacy SOS for him because I feel that's important. If he doesn't see a PURPOSE in why he is learning it - then he doesn't bother with it and won't even try to grasp it. If I give him a reason for it - then he get's it. A few things to look at: http://www.mathmammoth.com/worksheets/mirl/ (I like these and throw them into everyone's mix occasionally - my kids were shocked you use Algebra to figure out the best cell plan for you!) http://simplycharlottemason.com/books/your-business-math/ My kids just asked if they could do this again - so I think it will be a summer project for them. It puts Cost/Sales price etc into real life terms
Thanks again for the added input. His siblings have tried to help in the past but because they don't really understand him, it makes it hard for them to have the patience to help. The older child is no longer living with us and her help him would frustrate him more. I didn't do math with him today. I just left it alone for now. I didn't want to frustrate him by telling him that he didn't do well on the paper. I'm going to put together a few ideas of simple math that we can work on while we are at home or out and about. For example: If gas is $3.45 a gallon and we have a 15 gallon tank how much would it cost to fill it up. Or if we just need a couple gallons of gas. How many miles can we go on a gallon of gas? Things like that. I have been known to turn any thing into school work. A fault I'm proud of. : ) I'm going to do some research and look for the math "dyslexic" and see if he falls in that arena and go from there. I'm also going to change up his eating habits. I'm gluten intolerant and have a feeling he might be too. Honestly all of my kids have symptoms of being in gluten intolerant. Which is hard for an Italian family. Breads and pastas are a staple. Anyway, I know I'm rambling again. hahaha Thanks again, it feels so good to know there are people out there pulling for you and praying.
Okay, I found some information about dyscalculia. I'm going to paste the list of symptoms and honestly this is mind blowing. It describes him to a "T". Frequent difficulties with arithmetic Difficulty with everyday tasks like reading analog clocks...It takes him forever to figure out what time it is. Inability to comprehend financial planning or budgeting, sometimes even at a basic level; for example, estimating the cost of the items in a shopping basket or balancing a checkbook...Doesn't understand the concept of estimating on most days. Difficulty with multiplication-tables, and subtraction-tables, addition tables, division tables, mental arithmetic, etc....He would have a melt down if you asked him any of this. Difficulty with conceptualizing time and judging the passing of time. May be chronically late or early...Yep! Particularly problems with differentiating between left and right...Yep! Inability to visualize mentally...Yep! Difficulty reading musical notation..Oh my yes! Difficulty navigating or mentally "turning" the map to face the current direction rather than the common North=Top usage...Yep! Having particular difficulty mentally estimating the measurement of an object or distance (e.g., whether something is 10 or 20 feet (3 or 6 meters) away)...Yep! Often unable to grasp and remember mathematical concepts, rules, formulae, and sequences...YES! Inability to concentrate on mentally intensive tasks...Yep! Low latent inhibition, i.e., over-sensitivity to noise, smell, light and the inability to tune out, filtering unwanted information or impressions. Might have a well-developed sense of imagination due to this (possibly as cognitive compensation to mathematical-numeric deficits)YES,YES,and YES! Mistaken recollection of names. Poor name/face retrieval. May substitute names beginning with same letter...All the time! [9] This makes me sad and happy at the same time. It lets me know what and how I can help him. Off to do more research and develop a plan.
All of these sound very like my ds too. Mine, however, was able to do ordinary arithmetic just fine -- add, subtract, multiply, divide -- but hit the brick wall when it came to pre-algebra/algebra. Just could NOT grasp it. But somehow he passed his GED anyway... Incidentally, he's almost 30 and still says "yesterday" when he means "tomorrow" and vice versa.
