I'm not sure if this is really homeschool advice I'm needing - or just motherhood advice! Today I totally lost it with my ds6 during his school work. Working on math - he kept confusing 12 and 21 and 20 -- so he would say 6+6= 12 but would write 20. Anyway -- after much explaining I lost my patience to the point that I began fussing at him and telling him that if he couldn't get it - then maybe he should be in school where they could teach him better. oops Not only that but I began to rant about how he needs to spend more time focusing on work and less time playing. (HELLOOOO -- I am the grown up who let him play outside for over an hour today!) Anyway - I have felt terrible about my 30 minute vent and although I did apologize to him - I know that I blamed him for things that are really frustrations with myself (i.e. getting things done in a timely manner, allowing too much play time etc). So, how do I get over the guilt that I feel and move toward a more productive school setting with him. I haven't had a day like this in a VERY long time, but it seems that when I begin to feel like I'm not cutting it as a teacher - I take it out on him sometimes. It seems at times I'm okay with the way I am running our homeschool and feel it is good that he has the flexibility and then other times I feel like he is spoiled bc if he was in "regular" school he would have to sit at the desk all day! Hope this rambling is making sense -- I haven't been on here in awhile, but I know you ladies all have wonderful advice and have lots of experience. Is this just one of those normal things that will happen every once in awhile as a homechooler -- or am I losing my marbles???
well I don't know what to tell you except that have you seen any patterns in his work like this? If so, you could be looking at a learning disability like dyslexia or something like that. As far as the rant, you did apologize. Children are very forgiving, he will forget about it a few days especially if it doesn't happen again. Maybe it is time for a little break? Or a different approach. If he is having trouble writing the numbers, try asking him and letting him give you oral answers. ?
try not to worry, been there with my dd1 -6, and you get so frustrated. but when i was like that someone said to me, close the book and walk away, wait until the next day! for this reason we have tried singapore, miquon, mep,dk books and living maths, we still dip into living maths but have found educationcity to be brilliant, and she can sit at the computer and do her work without me getting stressed with her, its really transformed our homeschool maths life. if you dont want to subcribe there are so many websites which are free! i also keep being reassured that until they are 7 dont worry about letters and numbers being the wrong way round apparently something will just click! still waiting here but must believe it will happen soon lol! hth and walk away, count to 20, scream in to a pillow, leave it for the day, whatever works so he does not pick up on your frustraion
Girl, I feel your pain! I have blown up a lot recently because my son is throwing these fits when it's time to work (like a 2 year old not getting candy at the grocery store), then he complains about working! I try to be nice and let them watch t.v. or play games during their breaks but then I get the same fits when it's time to get back to work. So I just decided that there's no t.v. or games until after the entire school day is done. "What are supposed to do on our break!?" They cried..... Play, I don't care, but not t.v. or game related! Hope things work out and you have a better day!
It's perfectly normal for kids to reverse things - both letters AND numbers - until even age 8 or 9 ! It depends on their neurological development, which of course happens at different rates in different kids. If it persists past age 8.5, though, THEN it's time to start looking at possible learning differences. In the meantime, get/make him a "cheat sheet" (reference card) of some kind, such as a 100-chart, that he can look at to get the number he intended to write. I'm teaching a 6yo this year for first grade, and we have all sorts of "helps" around. He has a 100-chart that he can circle numbers on with a dryerase marker as needed, he has manipulatives he can use, we have a "place value chart" (just a page-size thing with a Ones and a Tens and a Hundreds box, so he can put 3 ten-sticks and 4 individual blocks in to make 34, for example), and daily he writes just ten numbers (1-10, 11-20, 21-30, etc.) that we review and count and he writes. At first it was like pulling teeth, and I regretfully admit that there was some harsh looks and raised voice things going on, but he has eventually seen the patterns and can write the next ten each day in a snap! Today he'll do 341-350! We'll stop at 1000. This is using the My Counting Book from CLE. He still has trouble with some numbers, like when he's given a number with a blank before it and a blank after it and he has to write what number comes before this and after this.... Some days we zoom and he gets it but then the next it's like he never saw it before -- until he really gets it then he's got it for good! Some days we don't do math at all, and other days we just do some other math activity instead of a lesson (like a page from the ABC Readiness books that goes all the way back to preschool/kindergarten level) and be happy with that. Then when we get back to it, it's like he's processed what we were doing and gets it so much better. IT's GOING TO BE OKAY. When you find yourself pressuring up, change tasks to something you KNOW he can do (like a Kindergarten sheet), then take a break. I just this second remembered this little trick from Chisanbop (Korean finger counting that was immensely popular for about 5 minutes about 30-35 years ago) -- the teens are difficult because the names don't sound like they make sense to little kids (12, 13, 14...) because the second digit sounds first! So they recommended that while learning, call them "ten-ty" numbers, so that the "ten" comes first, like ten-ty one (11), ten-ty two (12), ten-ty three (13) and so on. As a sort of game. You make it plain that it's not that number's real name, but just a sort of memory-helper while writing. The twenties you could call two-nty one (21), and so on, for awhile (and only while writing numbers). By the time you get to thirty, it could be three-ty for a little while, but he should have the idea by that time. Sort of along the same lines as spelling Wednesday by saying it Wed-nes-day, or February by calling it Feb-Ru-Ary. Saying it funny seems to sink in a little better than just "regular".
Okay, my advice? GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK LADY! It is okay to mix up those three numbers at his age. MY kid did the twelve and 21 for ever he is doing awesome now as a young adult, graduated with honor level grades and is in High Maths. He was my stubborn child when it came to learning though. He didnt want to do it right, he just wanted to do it. Turned out to be a personality trait in him not much we can do about some of those things, but explain that it has to be done propper. But come on, he is what 6-7? EXPECT them to make tons of mistakes! ITS NEW TO THEM! I read so many posts < I am not meaning to take it out on yours but it was handy> about people freaking out because the child who is 6 or 7 is not reading as a ten year old , or writing in cursive, or printing thier letters properly like and adult.. give your kids a chance to be kids! In my kids cases, I have been schooling at home or home schooling how ever you choose to say it for over 13 years, have a graduated one and one more grading this year. We have had the unrully child days and the near add days, I found more sleep helps on his part and my part. If your child is not focusing, remember first he is a boy, second he is at a distractable age. If he is mixingthem up dont make a HUGE deal about it but correct him with a "Opps that number got int he wrong place" approach, thats how my dh taught me to do with our kids, the less pressure the faster they got it! Think about that for a while... if we as adults are stuffed into a situation and told we need to already know what we only got a glimpse of so far we would freak too! Another thing abotu 6-7 yr old boys, they need that extra hour outside so keep that up, use it as after you finish yoru math though. I found math first thing ( after Bible for us) works best because they are clear of other things so far in the am. ALso it helps to say, okay we willl do Math, then you can go out and play but you have to stay focused or you loose time outside if you play around at your math. Then make sure you are ther so you can say OOPS how did that one get there... etc make it fun and cutsie sounding, let your boys be kids! they are YOUNG. Todays society wants to make our kids become teen agers at five, give me a break! lol Okay enough scolding parents of young children here haha, I am so big on letting kids be kids, I guess its cause at 9 I was taking care of my family for my parents?
Don't worry. If your a normal homeschooling mom you have had at least one time you lost it. For most moms it's more than once, lol. We have all had those bad days. It's a good thing for us that our kids are very forgiving and we learn from our mistakes.
I have lost it with my son many times, while homeschooling and various other circumstances. I think it too has to do with my frustration with MY lack of discipline, etc. I feel horrible guilty when I am lazy all day, but sometimes I am and then my guilt leads me to be irratable with my son. I think the first step is recognizing it-and you do. It is funny, because I have this mental picture of being the patient teacher/mom. And the day may start out that way. But occasionally (but not in quite a while) something changes and WHOA-here comes the real me.
UH i THOUGHT i WOULD oops, caps lol! I thought I would appoligise if that "Give yoruself a break lady" offends anyone, I just meant to say Moms we need to give ourselves a break when we loose it, it will happen from time to time, homeschooling or not kwim? HUGS
Been there done that. Your not alone although it's very easy to feel like you are on days like these! My 7yr old twins still get numbers mixed up and write some letters backwards. There are days I get tore up about it and feel like I'm failing them. Then something will click and they catch on and it gives me hope that I might just be doing something right after all. Hang in there. There are a lot of people trying to row the same type of boat. Even if your boat isn't moving it's still floating! Don't give up.
Are you getting enough sleep? I always explode when I'm not getting enough sleep. Doesn't matter whether it's school or picking up toys or eating peas... I lose it! If I've had my sleep, I'm the most patient person in the world.
I have someone, whom shall remain nameless currently sitting at the table "not" doing his cursive that he has been sitting in front of for 2 hours!!! I am ready to blow. I did say "Go DO something!" in maybe close to an outside voice. ugh. this whole week has been trying...Yea for next week being a holiday!!! The first reading of your letter...my first thought was "this seems more about her teaching insecurity, than about him transposing the numbers...." So none of us are perfect. SOME of us (that would be me) less perfect than others. I get soooo defensive when my dh corrects my oldest. (not his) even if he is completely and totally correct. I don't get this way at all about the other kids....but no matter what he says about her I "hear" 'you're a bad mom.' sigh. So it isn't your fault that he transposes his numbers....and I think you know that. eh? but homeschooling does seem to focus so much of the responsability on us. I mean if johnny is in ps and he can't read, we just blame the school eh? But as parents it is still ultimately whose responsablity...johnnys. really. you can not make someone learn. (other things I learned through parenthood...you cannot make someone swallow, and you cannot make someone poop.) So, pick your battles.
We all have our problems and issues. Period. Noone is perfect, although some may think they are! :lol::lol: Of course, all of us on this board KNOW we're not perfect!!! I do NOT know a mom, let alone a HSing mom who has not blown at the kids out of frustration - both at herself and/or at the child. You apologized. Now move on. He forgave you, now you need to forgive you. Yes, some of us yell more than others. Some of us do more field trips than others, some of us bake more than others, some of us are too lax, some of us tend to be a little too protective. Not a one of us is perfect. Give your son a big hug and just move on. {{{HUGS}}}
My eight year old still does this, but with less frequency than when he was six. Children have the incredible ability to see patterns in the things around them which helps them learn very quickly. However, in language and math, the patterns have exceptions. Their mistakes are understandable -- after in a logical child's brain 12 should be said twoteen and 11 should be oneteen; that would fit the pattern. Even better there should be no teens and it should be the oneties -- onety-on, onety-two, onety-three. As for number reversals, again, the system does not fit into a child's well ordered brain -- 2,3, 4, 7 and 9 all "face" left while the rebels 5 & 6 have to face right. They can't even follow a concrete rule about whether to start out forming the letters in a counter-clockwise direction or a clockwise direction. All of that to say...if you realize that your son's "errors" are the product of a well-ordered, logical mind and not just the consequences of a squirmy, distractable child, you may feel better about it. I have been correcting these errors for three years though with less frequency each year. Progress should be our measuring stick -- not perfection. Eat some chocolate and be encouraged!
Ok - my brain is still developing and it is a serious family joke. I can remember telephone numbers - but give me something and dang I'll add a 'zero' in there ALL the time!! I see the same issue happening with dd. DS will be the one rolling his eyes at us later in life - I can see it coming. Alexis still does the number problems - 13 or 30.... 15 or 50 and she's 10. I just correct her, show her the number and continue. She has a 98% in math right now so I think she'll survive (and I know that because Switched on Schoolhouse tells me so).
Thank all of you ladies for your responses! I think I learned alot just from your posts. Yes, I feel insecure when he misses problems...no, I don't get enough sleep....and yes, I know he is just 6 and it is nice to hear that it is normal for him to get mixed up on these #s. I have missed all of your wonderful advice, and am thankful that I had a problem last week that made me want to get back on this website..... Hope you all have a wonderful week of Thanksgiving!
