My son has ADD and both dh and I are reluctant to put him on meds for it. He was diagnosed at 5 and he will be 8 in 3 months. We've been basically trying anything and everything to just make it through a school day with him. I'm now at my wits end and I'm contemplating going back to the neuropsychologist to get him on meds. I feel defeated, my son seems to hate school now... I'm sure its because he cant focus and I get frustrated with him. I dont know if I want to scream or cry half the time. Any suggestions, tips, or advice? I'm feeling pretty low right now.
I have ADD and I take meds. Meds aren't a defeat. Sometimes ADD or ADD-like symptoms can be addressed with diet, routine, exercise, etc. but sometimes there's simply a problem with chemistry that needs to be addressed. Addressing that with meds is no more a defeat then replacing a faulty wire in a car's electrical system is. That said, meds are neither a magic potion nor a lifetime sentence. I generally take mine to help me build a routine or when I'm having a specific problem regarding the ADD. I don't take them everyday and I don't take them expecting miracles. They just give me a push and after that it's still up to me. Even if your son does try meds you'll still needs to make sure any strategies you've had up until now are still in place.
Thanks you two. I'll be researching medications and alternatives more tonight. I am also going to find our yoga ball thats been lost in our garage since our move last summer. I think that will help him a bit. Also maybe some headphones to cancel out the noise of the kids.....
I have no experience with the challenges of ADD. However, I would like to comment that if you feel your son should be on meds that is no defeat. My mother felt a sense of defeat when put on meds for her depression. It just made her feel weak and helpless. Now, she is ok with it but it took some time. I know I never feel defeated when I take meds for headaches, allergies or the alike. Now, I know you may say there is a huge difference but is there? If you have a problem and a medication is able to help you and make you more of who you are...how is that defeat? As I said, I am not experienced with this at all...so if my comment was stupid than forgive me. lol.
That was perfect Ava. What I'll never forget about ritalin was when I first tried it I suddenly understood that my problems with focus were fixable and had nothing to do with how me being stupid or lazy. I couldn't see that until I could feel what it was like to NOT have to deal with the ADD issues. I have to say, it was a real victory to me then.
I have ADD. I was on meds through HS, which was as early as I was diagnosed. I hated the meds cause I wasn't myself. I was withdrawn and quiet and totally different. Off the meds I was the life of the party, I was outgoing and happy, and well.... stressed out. When I was on meds people at school constantly went around asking me if I was alright. It was almost like I was depressed. In college, I developed my own coping methods and I did fine... often on dean's list. I was only on meds during finals week when I found I really did need them. I am not a pro-meds person, but I do understand that sometimes they are needed. I feel that if you have honestly done everything... and I do mean everything, than you need to do what you need to do to have peace. Being put alone didn't work for me. It just allowed me more time to daydream. I had to allow myself at least twice as long to get things done as a normal person. That was my life and that was fine. I think the biggest mistake that my parents made with me, and frankly that my teachers made was that if I didn't have my work done I didn't get to do the fun stuff. I almost never had my work done with in the specified time so in school I never got recess. NEVER. At home, I couldn't go outside until all of my school work was done. Now, try to figure out how much I was out and playing and running with is so vitally important to a child like this? I was cooped up which was exactly what I didn't need. I think that using as many different learning styles as possible would have helped me tremendously. I can't really give you advice. I am not sure what you have and have not done... and meds may be just what your family does actually need. If you have any specific questions please do ask.
My main concern with the medication is the safety of them. The dr cant promise me my son will be ok while taking them.... I'm not a person who is pro-meds. I have pretty strong opinions with things like medicating, (especially a child) vaccinations... etc etc. I try to keep things as natural as possible. I guess thats my main hesitation... the safety of medications with my children. I have been taking Noah to a naturopath for 2 months in hopes it would help his ADD. So far nothings changed except my wallet is thinner lol.
Yes... Dawinns, that really helps a lot. I hope if we try medication he has the same results. I want Noah to be confident and happy.... right now when he's doing his work he's neither. It just breaks my heart.
I think the best thing to do then is educate yourself and your family on the possible side effects and keep an eye out for them. Also keep Staying6's experience in mind and watch out for that because meds really do effect everyone differently.
Have you tried looking into a gluten-free diet? People I know have had much success with it. You could try talking to a holistic doctor more about it. I don't want to get into much since I don't have any first hand experience with it other than taking care of daycare children on meds that didn't need to be. However, I would like to add that Adderall and other like drugs are a class 2 narcotic...same as cocaine. Just a little tid bit of info for ya. 5 is just so young, IMO, and doctor's usually do not "disgnose" anything like that until they are 8 or around that age because many of the "symptoms" are commmon child behaviors. But I will stop there, as I am sure being in the situation is much different than looking in at it. I just want to wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide and will keep you in my prayers. Good luck to you, and I hope you can find a direction that is best for you and your child. Big hug to you, as I am sure it is not an easy decision.
No medication is completely safe. All of them carry some risks. However, if your ds is not showing improvement without them it's worth it to try meds. They'll start him on the lowest dose possible & only up the dose if it's needed. My dd has to go to the Dr every six months for a med check visit. They ask us questions about how it's working & if we've seen any negetive effects from it. The main thing to watch for is weight loss. Many ADHD meds make kids lose their appetite & they can lose weight. My dd started on Focalin, which helped (for a while) with her concentration. She then was switched to Vyvanse, which is a new med. It helped quite a bit with behavior & concentration, but INS. wouldn't cover it. They then put her on Adderal. Adderal did NOT work for us. It actually made her worse! She couldn't focus at all & her behavior got 10 times worse than it had been. So, the Dr talked to Ins company & they agreed to cover Vyvanse, because we'd seen so much improvement in the month she was on it. We didn't want to put her on meds, but we weren't seeing any progress without them. Sometimes, it's neccesary to have them on meds. It's not defeat or failure. It's just what they need. Don't feel bad about putting him on meds. Keep an eye on him while he's on them, especially at first & whenever they change dosage or medication. If you see any signs that worry you, call the Dr. Make sure you keep all med check appts. & talk to your Dr honestly about how the med is working & any effects you've noticed (good or bad).
Jennie, Yep we've tried the GFCF diet and will continue to use it. I need to get better at watching things that have milk and gluten in them. We also have him on omega 3's and a few other supplements. I'm now trying caffeine to see if that helps him at all. Jackie
ADD isn't a lack of attention, it is finely tuned attention at the cost of little attention towards anything else. There is even a scientific term for it called Hyperfocus. The secret is to find out what the little ADD person finely tunes their attention to and turn it into something positive. Believe you me, it will not go away, there is no use fighting it, and trying to take that person's hyperfocus away from them will psychologically cripple them forever.
As an adult with ADD and who has a son(10 yo) with ADHD, I'm a little skeptical of this "hyperfocus" theory. For myself, and I think for my son, our "problem" is that when we're not doing something that we are really interested in (i.e., not one of our hobbies or passions), we're easily distracted away (usually by the random thoughts in our heads i.e. daydreaming). I have never used meds and it has been a long, hard journey towards a disciplined mind (and I don't know how I could have done it if I hadn't of had an above-average IQ). My son is on Ritalin, and I don't know exactly how it helps him, but it does. I agree with hmsclmommyto2...perhaps you could try a very low dose of one of the ADHD/ADD meds and see how it goes. Keep in mind that it isn't a miracle drug! It may take a week or two for behaviors to change noticeably (someone told me before we started with Ritalin that her daughter's behavior changed the same day...what a crock!). If you don't like the results, you can take your child off them.
daycare? hi there, am new to the forum. i was wondering if you are a childcare provider and also a homeschooler? my husband and i are considering homeschooling. but i had counted on running my in home childcare for many years go come. i would like to hear from people who do it, or have done it. thank you!
I also have ADHD & have never been on meds for it. I went to my mom with concerns that I had it, in jr high or the very beginning of freshman year. She told me I didn't have ADHD because "You're too smart. Smart people don't have ADHD." That was one of the main misconceptions about it at that time. They've obviously found out different since then. As lornad37 said, it's been a long hard journey. I had to learn to deal with it on my own & find a way to make it work FOR me. I still have problems concentrating sometimes. I can't stand silence, because if it's quiet, I notice every little sound (the cat in the litter box, the wind in the trees, the hum of the fridge, etc.). So, I always have background noise. I've learned what kind of background noise works best for me. I've also learned to make my fidgiting useful, most of the time. On the bright side, I'm an awesome multi-tasker. :lol: Because of how hard I've worked to teach myself organizational skills (almost everyone in my family is very disorganized, so that was something I had to teach myself), I am now a very organized person (though sometimes my methods of organizing are too difficult for others to figure out). My dd is on meds. They help her. Meds are not a cure-all, but they do help the child to concentrate & calm down enough to learn the skills that most people with ADHD lack (organization, study skills, etc.). I don't want my kids to have to do what I did & learn it all on their own. I want to be able to help them learn to control their ADHD & make it work for them. If they need to be on meds to help them, then I'll have them on meds. My goal is to someday be able to take dd off her meds. I'm hoping that, with someone experienced in dealing with ADHD helping her, she'll learn to control it & be able to function without the meds. My ds probably has ADHD, too. He's only 4, so I won't even consider getting an offical diagnosis yet. However, we're pretty certain he has it & multiple professionals have agreed with us. When he's older, we'll take him in for an official diagnosis. If he needs meds, at that time, we'll put him on them. If he doesn't need meds & is learning to deal with it without them, he won't go on meds. It's about what best for the child & what is going to make it easier for them to learn to work with their ADHD & not against it. BTW, ADHD is actually focus on many things at once. That's why we can't concentrate on just one thing: we have to many things that our brains are focusing on to be able to put all of our concentration on just one thing. Even when we're concentrating on something that interests us, our brains are going a million miles a minute with other thoughts. The more interested we are in something, the more of our focus is on it, but that doesn't mean we aren't focusing on other things. The number of things that have gone through my mind, just while I've been typing this response, would make most people's heads spin. Anyway, the point I was attempting to make (sometimes it takes me a while to get there because I get off track a bit) is this - If a child with ADHD can learn the skills they are lacking (ability to control their focus, study skills, organization skills, etc.) wihtout meds, then don't put them on meds. However, if they can't learn those skills without the help of meds, it would be better for them to be on meds. Without meds (and without help), it's a long hard road learning how to deal with ADHD. I don't think that we should make everything easy for kids, but I do think, with something as difficult as this, we should try to make it easier, if possible.
Hi there. I don't homeschool...not past pre-k anyways (perhaps in the future I will if God directs me that way), but yes I have owned my own in-home center. I was a childcare center director for a few years, then when the organization I worked for closed, I started my own in-home center. I do not do it anymore though. I closed this last fall when my son started K. I did it in my home for 3 years though. If you have any questions I'd be happy to help in that general area. There are a couple people here who have formally homeschooled AND ran an in-home at the same time. I know it is hard work, and many people who do start it don't always decided to do both later on because of the work. However, I suppose it depends on how you run your center as well and what age kids you have as well...along with how many kids you keep. I believe AmyU use to do childcare while homeschooling. She may be a good person to ask.
