A couple of years ago, my wife had just about reached the end of her tether. Every day, every hour, doing things for the rest of us, and always taken for granted. My job was becoming uncertain and I couldn't afford to take any vacation days - but she desperately needed a vacation. So, I went online and found an all-inclusive resort in St. Lucia and used frequent flyer miles to fly my wife there while I looked after the children for a week. She had a very relaxing time, went for an evening cruise on the sailing ship from 'Pirates of Caribbean', visited a plantation and a volcano, tried to water ski, and generally forgot everything for a week. She had a really wonderful time and felt totally rejuvenated. Honestly, if you look carefully, you can find all-inclusive resorts like this for far less money than you think - when it's just one person and you don't have to worry about the cost and logistics of having the children around. I know it's not the same as enjoying a family vacation, but finding enough money just for "mom" to relax for a while is an investment worth millions. (And I largely paid for it by going without dinners on the next few business trips. You'd be surprised what can be achieved when you set your mind to it.)
That sounds quite tempting. I am on no travel now though with the pregnancy and then will have a breastfed newborn in less than 2 months. It will be a while. The good news is, I might take your suggestion next year and leave all the children with the olders (they are teens already) and maybe take off for a 3 day week resort trip with dh.
I think I mentioned that Rachael gave me three Sundays of quilting (one a month) from noon until eight, as a birthday present. (I just got home!) I'm not sure if she's doing this for ME or to just get me out of the house so Daddy can do all the things he likes to do with the kids that I won't let him do, lol!!! It's cheaper than a trip to St. Lucia, but I really enjoy getting away and having a WHOLE DAY of ADULT company, plus feeling that I'm accomplishing something! (And, hopefully by the end of the summer, I can at least show you the quilt top!!!)
Everyone has given you very good advise, now I will give you the other side of the coin. My ds' graduated last year, they still live at home (PTL) but I feel the empty nest syndrom and I sometimes wish they were small again. Cherish the moments you have with your kids even if they are banging on the door, time flies and soon you will have an empty nest. Had I been able to pop babies out without issues like some women, I would have more than two boys. My oldest ds plays guitar with his amp, sometimes very loud. But I cherish hearing him playing guitar because I know before long he will want to live out on his own. (((( ))))
hugs, hugs, hugs, you have gotten really good advice. my advice would be TAKE MOMMY TIME come up with creative ways to have your mommy time, if it is given your childern something special to do only during that time, use it for cuddle time with hubby or just for you to read a book, start making changes now,and be consistent, you will have another little one soon and need your time now
You have gotten great advice so far. I can only say that I would be going insane if it was like that around here...my privacy is one thing I hold dear! Because of that, we've had strict rules with the kids from the beginning. After the nighttime nursing sessions were less frequent, they slept in their own rooms. It's just always been a rule in our house: everyone sleeps in their own bed...and if you come to me in the middle of the night, I'll help you out, but you're going back into your own bed. Our room is also off-limits unless they are invited in. I don't let them use my bathroom, either, unless the other one is occupied and it's an emergency. Honestly, I see nothing wrong with there being areas that are adults-only. Kids have to learn to respect boundaries, and I think the sooner they learn it, the better. They also know NOT to bother me when I'm on the phone, or when I am working at home (freelance writing). There are consequences for that. Trust me: you will NOT damage your children by drawing healthy boundaries to teach them to respect your privacy. My kids and I are close. They know they are loved, and often tell me out of the blue how much they love me. I think I am as approachable as any other parent; they know that DH and I are there when they need us. Trouble is, kids don't inherently know the difference between true needs and wants...we have to teach them that by the boundaries we draw. May I suggest reading some of John Rosemond's parenting books? They really helped me alleviate my guilt over this when my oldest was small. He talks about how one of the hardest things for moms to do today is to tell our kids to leave us alone; that we've been taught that good mothers are accessible 24/7. It wasn't like that a generation or two ago, and most moms were much happier--they didn't view parenthood to be as difficult as we often see it today. Good luck with establishing new rules with your kids. I'm sure they'll try to push the envelope, but they'll catch on quickly. In the end, it's really good for the whole family.
