I'm pregnant

Discussion in 'Other Conversation' started by Maybe, Jul 23, 2014.

  1. Maybe

    Maybe New Member

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    I am pregnant. I was supposed to have surgery. I could not because I am pregnant. I am turning 44 yrs old this week. I am shocked and worried. I was laughing at first. But once the reality set in, I started googling pregnancy at my age. 50% chance of miscarriage. A large chance of many other problems. To top it off, I hurt my tail bone and was supposed to have a little surgery on it. I also have a raging UTI that I have not been able to rid of. Oh, and if you Google "44 and pregnant" you actually get a lot of hits from people who died having a baby at my age.

    I just keep reminding myself this is a blessing. And not to worry about the fact that I will be almost 70 when this child graduates college. And don't worry about the fact that my husband has a heart problem so good chance he won't live that long so we had wanted an early retirement. And not to worry about the fact that I feel broke already. And really don't worry about the fact that I was scorned by people when I had a baby at 41. People can be very nasty toward pregnant women. The way people spoke to me, you would think it was a nasty vile thing, an attack on everyone, to have a baby at 41 yrs old, and especially when I already had other children at the time.

    I went to bed crying with worry. I woke up like a jolt today. I have another doctors appointment today. I prayed last night over this and I will continue to pray, every day, a few times a day hopefully, to get through this.

    Anyone have good advice? Anyone else have a baby at this age?
     
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  3. sloan127

    sloan127 Active Member

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    I had my bio kids when I was young. In fact my first was born one week before I turned 18. We got married when I was 16 and my husband was 18. Being pregnant at 17 gets you some ugly looks too. We had our oldest son and then our twin daughters were born four years later. Then we became foster parents and ended up adopting four more kids. I will be 60 in October and we have a daughter who came to us 16 years, 2 weeks, and 2 days ago. She was 3 weeks old. Each of those days have been a gift to us. Our youngest is no more special than our other 6 kiddos, but we know now, at our age, how fast time goes by and we cherish our time with this daughter and thank God for blessing us with her. I know everyone has an opinion and will just drive you nuts with horror stories and advice, but try not to let them get to you. Other people's opinions only count at our house when they start paying the bills! You will be in my prayers and I hope you have an good doctor's appointment. That was one thing I really loved about adopting. No doctors needed foe me!
     
  4. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Member

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    Hugs..... Don't google any more too much to think about!!! Prayers for you & baby & your family!!! People have baby's at your age & do fine..... Positive attitude....
     
  5. valleyfam

    valleyfam New Member

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    I agree sometimes Google is not your friend. Relax I know it sounds cliche but it really will all be ok. Said a prayer for peace for you and good health for you and baby.
     
  6. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    Do your research, pray about it, and make the best informed decision you can.

    Go ahead with the pregnancy and don't worry about what people say. You have every right to choose life no matter what challenges you might face with this baby.

    Or...

    If it's very early.....Pray about it and weigh everything. How would a possibly special needs child affect your life, the child's life, and the lives of your family? Can your husband's health tolerate it? Do you have health issues that put your life at risk? What does your other children's support system look like if they lost you? There are a lot of factors in play and you have every right to consider your options and pray about your options.

    I have a feeling I'm going to be seriously ridiculed for even suggesting the second option, but I'll tell you flat out...I would not have a baby at 44. While considering the fact that a pregnancy deserves the right to live.....I would also consider that my husband deserves to have his wife alive. My daughter deserves to have her mom alive. I have responsibilities to my elderly mom, too...my mom deserves to have her caretaker alive. It's not a simple equation. Pray and consider the whole picture.

    Whatever you decide, no one else's opinion matters. What you do...is between you and God. If that decision is supporting this pregnancy no matter what...so be it. If that decision is prioritizing your obligations to others who need you...and you've prayed and found peace with God, let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

    I would love to say I'd carry the pregnancy no matter what. But in reality, I have very serious health concerns that would make it nearly impossible. For the sake of my family...I could not risk my life.

    Praying for you. No matter what you do, you have the empathy and support of another woman your age.

    Please take care of yourself and see the doctor. Get as much information as you can. Try to calm down, rest and eat well. Again, prayers.
     
  7. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

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    In my part of the country, we call that an "Oops blessing" or possibly "the caboose" (last car on the train), and it's not all that unusual. Pray joyfully! Receive God's blessing with open hearts. If somebody makes a rude comment, just remember that it says a whole lot more about them than it does about you. If anybody says anything about Abraham and Sarah, just smile and remember God had a purpose!
     
  8. MinnieMouse

    MinnieMouse New Member

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    I'm so sorry that this has your nerves in a tizzy. Pregnancy sure can be a surprise and definitely changes plans but it is such a blessing!! Who cares about other people's opinions?

    Do your darndest to be healthy and pray. :) What does your hubby say? Is he excited?
     
  9. Brenda

    Brenda Active Member

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    CONGRATULATIONS!! Look at it as a blessing - God has an awesome plan in store for you through this baby.

    Try not to focus on what Google says - while it is a great reference tool, there's a lot out there that can cause more panic than necessary and little baby, needs a healthy mom.
     
  10. Maybe

    Maybe New Member

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    Nt.
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2014
  11. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy, and a healthy baby. Prayers for the safety and well being of all involved.
     
  12. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

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    An "oops" blessing...I like that! When my campus minister found out his wife was expecting number three a bit later, he would laugh that his son Jeremy was "Alpha", Benjamin was "Omega", and the one coming was "OOPS!-elon" and would always refer to it as such. His wife was very insistent he STOP calling the baby that BEFORE it came, lol! Now Monica is a very fine young woman, and has been a real blessing!

    I am a firm believer that worry probably INCREASES your odds for problems. THERE IS NO REASON TO BELIEVE YOU will be one of those who has complications!!! Try to dwell on God's gift to you, and the blessing this child is! BTW, I didn't get married until I was 32, and was 35 when my oldest was born. And she's the one who had the most complications!!! I've had two friends who had babies in their mid-forties. Both of them had a trouble pregnancy with earlier babies; one had a Down's child for number 2 of 4, and the other had a premature birth, where the baby died. She was in her thirties at the time, and went on to have two very normal babies after this. Their problems were NOT in the later pregnancies and were NOT "age related". Shut your ears to the horror stories, and ignore all the "what if's"!
     
  13. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    Congrats!!! Babies are a blessing.. God has given you a great gift!!! Prayers for a healthy and easy pregnancy and for a sweet, happy baby that will brighten your life.. I might add that I'm a tad bit jealous. :)
     
  14. Emma's#1fan

    Emma's#1fan Active Member

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    Congratulations!!! I know more than a few women who have had healthy pregnancies in their mid-forties. They took care of their health. Don't listen to the naysayers and stay off the internet. :)
     
  15. braindot

    braindot New Member

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    Keep your mindset positive and don't allow it to be affected by all of the negative junk. Live one day at a time and stay present TODAY. Today there is a miracle growing.
     

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