I am now going through a MAJOR shift in my homeschool style and my whole view on education and learning, etc. I tend to be "in the box" and my son is VERY "out of the box". So we have been butting heads the past 2+ years about anything related to school. It has been mostly my fault, although I didn't recognize that until about a week or so ago. Basically, I try to stuff him into the box, but he always finds a way out and then dissambles the box and makes it something different!! Why did I buy into the mentality that only the "normal" approach to education is worthing of pursuit? Why do I think the subjects listed for high school supposed to fit my son? Why did I try to cram the info into his head, so he could pass the test that came with that curriculum (like the schools do and I detest)? Why diagram? Why higher Algebra (for non math related fields)? Why can't learning be enjoyable or at least not all drudgery? I know some things are necessary, but a lot of it isn't and if I choose to stuff my son into this "box" and ruin (or at least negatively affect) our relationship and his attitude towards learning, what good am I doing? I decided that there has to be priorities. One: God-I have been trying to fit a little Bible curriculum into our hectic schedule, but because it is not listed on required subjects-I felt like the time wasn't there and it was a back burner subject. Now, I want God to the key to the whole day. I will probably use curriculum or some study Bibles or other things, if it will help us understand the Bible. But I also want to visit a local Bible college (Christ for the Nations) that has worship services open to the public and also 4 days a week a speaker comes for an hour and that is open to the public as well. I also might search for a way we can serve the church on a school day as well. Two: My son's natural talent: I want to be able to use what my son likes and insert it into what we are studying. For example-we have been recently studying about S. America. We did some mapping and worksheets. That is OK, but I want to liven it up. I have him reading about F. Pizarro. That is better, but what can make it even more interesting? Well, my son loves to make things and one of the things he has made are home-made blow guns. One interesting thing about S. America is that there are native people there that still use blow guns to hunt. I plan on buying him some materials so he can make a more sophisticated blow gun. Now, I know that some things are hard to fit into some subjects, but I am going to try. three: a shift in my thinking and "teaching" style-I have to be flexible to meet my son and also help him learn. Why do all the questions have to be answered on paper. I only have one student, why can't we discuss what he has read and I can see how much he understands. Also, I need to realize that field trips and videos are a valuable learning tools. I know that anything in excess is not good, but they can be helpful. Also, if he wants to manipulate something with his hands while we read or discuss-why not? As long as it is not making too much noise and he is paying attention. Four: the knowledge that college is not for everyone. I know that even as I write this some of you may be thinking it is mandatory that all should go to college. I am not debating and what you believe is fine, but I am not going to stuff my son in the box, unless his chose career requires that. College is a tool, but an often misapplied one. Enough said. Five: the value of any skill- The mechanic down the road has a skill I don't and probably won't ever have. He is intelligent and most likely as intelligent as me or more so. Can he diagram or do Algebra---maybe/maybe not. But is it important--NO. If my son is going to go into a field that takes a different kind of intelligence then I am fine with it. In fact, I am more than fine--I am pleased and joyful about it. So, whenever we see someone doing the plumbing or building a house or managing restaurant-we should realize that they are skillfull and intelligent people. Anyway, I am just unloading some thoughts. I am open to response-positive or negative. Please excuse how long this is.
not everyone thinks college is mandatory, I think it is important in some form if you dont watn to supportyour child for the rest of thier lives. I think also that you shoudl study what your dc is interested in learning. For instance there are core courses that are required by states to graduate, do those, the minimum at least, and then branch out into whatever you want. That is what home schooling is good for! But dont skip anything core. Though alg 2 is not needed, alg1 is in all the states I have seen to graduate. Someone can correct me if I am wrong but there is probably algebra on the GED test. I spoke with someone recently who had to take college courses before they could pass the GED. SO check into what you HAVE to do, then have fun with it!
I am sure there are many opinions on college. But you asked so I will give you mine I come from a large family with education levels all over the place. For example my sister went to RI school of design. She worked in NYC for a couple years using her degree. Since having kids she has moved to Boston and is a massage therapist (a real one, not the kind you might be thinking of ) My cousin went to an expensive college in SC as an art major. She is now a waitress at a seafood place. Both parents spent alot of $$ on these schools when their children are not even using the degree. My dh on the other hand didn't go to college and he is making more than them with his own business. As for my kids I obviously want them to finish high school, then find a practical job through a community college program. They are much less expensive and have great job opportunities. I also agree with your new style of learning. I had an epiphany about that a few weeks ago myself. I have turned my curriculum around completely.
I enjoyed your post as I'm in a very similar place right now. This is our 4th year and it's finally hit me that trying to force my dd to hit the books is just not working. I'm still not sure where this school year is taking us, but I'm trying to come up with ways to make learning more enjoyable for her. I want to find things that are more of a hands-on approach and I think she will do better this way.
Hey I just blogged about this same type of thing with DS I sat down and talked with him and he chose to stay with the Ambleside stuff which he really likes and tough he asked to change math - I said sorry for that one this year, he has to stick with it because he's actually getting it and I am not screwing that up
Hello, cabsmom! I have a book you need to check out. It's called "Educating the Whole-Hearted Child", by Clay and Sally Clarkson. One thing they say is that the PRIMARY goal of Christian education, regardless of WHERE it takes place, is discipleship, rather than academics. I would really recommend it! I think it will address a lot of what you're trying to learn/do.
Thank you everybody for your comments. I really just want to start enjoying my son the way he is. Unfortunately, I have had a very negative attitude to some of his habits that were not like mine. I have just made learning a burden (just like schools) in the first two years of homeschooling. So, is my son lucky to have me as a mom? Maybe now, but sometimes not so much. I hope not only will my son enjoy learning, but that he will learn that he is a great young man and that his mom believes in him. I also would rather that he is close to God than achieve any high level of education. I am not against college, I want to go back. I now enjoy learning. I even appreciate the public/private school teachers who are trying to help the children learn and caring for them also. They just have the disadvantage of a system that does not care if the child is nurtured as long as they produce the numbers for a good reputation. Thank you for all the teachers who have that huge responsibility, someone must try to help those who can't homeschool!!!
Sounds like you have things figured out. When I first started hsing my boys I was not very flexible because I felt as though I was under a microscope. But then a friend told me that I was too rigid and to go with the flow, then I realized that unless everyone who I felt had me under the microscope wanted to pay my bills for me, then they didn't have a say over what or how I was hsing my boys. So I just offered them some bean dip. I learned early on though that I must allow my kids to think outside the box or I would hamper their creativity. (((( )))) Your child will do well in what ever he decides to do, whether he goes to college or not!
Cabsmom...first, good for you. now, I have a book idea also. This one is fairly old so should be available at your library. It is called "raising your spirited child" I got it for a specific kiddo, but let me tell you it helped with all of them It has been a blessing to our family. (the spirited refers to energy, it isn't a christian book) It is by Mary Kurchinka (not completely sure last name is spelled correctly) Just her definition of intro and extravert were life changing for us. in a nutshell... it isn't about whether you get along with people or not...it is how you gather your energy. If you gather your energy by being alone = introvert. If you gather your energy in being with people = extravert. Just understanding why my eldest came home from school and went directly to her room for a few hours...that she wasn't just avoiding me...huge. laughing about my dh and I getting home on friday, dead tired and turning to each other and say "who could we call to come over?" 2nd - On the college thing. I am torn. I was not raised to go to college and I went back at 24 with a young child...and I am going back now (at more'n 40) I do so wish I had just gone. Multiple reasons I didn't... So I have just raised the kids that that is what you do. Graduate and go to college. Of course me first born did everything according to plan...and I imagine my little one will to, (I call them my bookends) But for the two in the middle...we will see. Encouraged dd to get a degree in whatever she wants. My friends are horrified I am "letting" her do fine arts. We always hear "what kind of job will she get with that." Well, I am not real concerned about it. She might switch now that she is there. who knows. my ds, well school doesn't mean the same things to him...but he is finding some interests that might translate. I would rather they come to me and say "mom, I have thought about it and school does not seem to be where God wants me right now..." than to have them come back in 10 or 20 years and say "Why didn't you support me in going to school?" One more thing...my dh's mom drove him to college, enrolled him in the summer classes and left him there at 17. He chose his degree by what he could get done the quickest. He then worked for 15 years running the family plumbing co. He was then offered a job as a Bank President. Hello! that is an opportunity that would not have come up without the degree. He loves the bank. A degree, any degree gives our children opportunity. There are colleges out there, and fields of study that do fit our differently gifted kiddo's. (climbing carefully down off soapbox) That being said if dd came home this summer and said she wasn't going back, I would not be shocked...we shall see.
Absolutely he is! He's got a mom that recognizes when she needs to change to accomodate his learning needs, a mom whose primary desire is for his relationship to God over his academic achievement. He's very lucky to have that!
I think homeschooling becomes such an evolutionary process...meaning the longer you do it the more you evolve into what kind of teacher you need to be for your student/s. I know for me, I started as a boxed curriculum person. I started last year to step out of the box, and this year, I just folded the box and put it in the corner. I think my kids are learning more and growing more, and are becoming more curious. They are soaking up everything, seeing connections, even when I didn't. So cool. They seem ALIVE in their learning. If you told me a few years ago I'd be brave enough to let go of my box, I'd tell you were nuts! As for college, I can't comment on this yet....I'm not sure how I feel. I did not go to college...well, I went but didn't complete it. It didn't hinder me in my job before I had kids - as a matter of fact I earned more than my husband when we married, and had I stayed there, college would not have factored into me moving up etc....it was a very company centric job. My husband did not go to college either, but does very well in the job he's in. He has a genius IQ, and is very smart....so college had nothing to do with that. He occasionally contemplates going back for the validation. The other hesitation I have for college is spiritual. Everyone I know who's gone to a secular college has lost their faith and bought into things that I don't agree with. Makes me sad, really. And there's so much hypocrisy in Christian Colleges, that I wonder. I do think I'll have my kids start out in Community College first and really start to feel out what they want to do....maybe. My eldest is a competitive gymnast, and I know she has hopes of doing college gymnastics, but...she's only 9 turning 10 in a few weeks. So...her dreams could change as she gets older. (granted, her dream is olympics....but....not every gymnast is Nastia Liukin!). those are my thoughts, for what they are worth!
Krista, I think the point you bring up is very important. I heard a statistic that 2 out of 3 college students lose their faith during college. To be honest, I can't remember if that was secular, christian, or both. Also, the man was discussing so-called christian colleges. He said that some professors at them put down faith and Biblical things, calling the Bible antiquated. And some even admit to be atheist. I thought about posting about that earlier and stopped, so I am glad you did. If my son has to clean ditches to make a living, but has an eternal relationship with God here on earth and eternally, than that is success. If he becomes the CEO of the largest, fastest growing company in the world, but does not serve God, than that is failure. I know these are extreme examples and the world is filled with everything in between. There are people who have good jobs and serve God, and there are people that have menial jobs that don't. Also, and this is where my "worries" come from, we live in the world as it is. We have to do certain things and some of them certain ways. I have to work, unless I don't want a home. But I can choose where to work and how I behave when I work. If society demands a college degree for his career, then I will encourage him to pursue it at a Christian school and pray for the right one. Obviously some careers need specific degrees. I wouldn't want a surgeon that didn't go to college. I wouldn't want a house wired by someone without an electrical degree. But some jobs that require degrees do so just for the proof you can get a degree. I know that it shows you can stick to something. I can see some of the logic, but isn't there other ways to show determination, and diligence?
Ken Ham wrote a book recently called "Already Gone". He talks about the number of kids who grow up in the church who actually become disengaged way BEFORE college. It was very interesting. He says that the modern church doesn't teach our kids to defend their faith. We make Bible "stories" just that...a bunch of "stories"...rather than teaching them as part of history. We avoid the "real issues" with the kids.
I'm at this place with my ds13. I don't see college in his future. He hates school no matter if it is public or home. He wants to go into the Marines. My job, it would seem to me, is to work with his God-given talents and desires and help him reach his goals. I am now in the process of finding out what is required to enter the Marines so that I'm sure he will have had an appropriate education. Concerning college...it saddens me that many vocations that once were learned through apprenticeships are now 4-year degrees...and then you come out and still need to be an apprentice. :roll: I ran into it as a vet tech. When I started it, you didn't need school at all. If I want to return to that line of work, I still have several years of experience, but I won't be able to compete with people with degrees. And that's all I have to say about that......
...and jobs that required a Bachelor's now require a Master's. It's crazy!!! Personally, I think the state colleges/universities are behind it. People have no choice BUT to spend their money "keeping up with the latest innovations in the field". And in education, that's usually a bunch of BS that has already been tried, failed, and recycled under a different name! Carl is taking two classes right now, because the district has decided he is no longer qualified to teach the classes he's taught for the last 20 years. They figured out that if his Technology classes were called Business instead, they could get more money from the state. So we're putting out over $2,000 this quarter for him to get his business certification, too. (BTW, he needed a score of 610 on some test before he could get it. It's very hard and expensive; we're told most people have to take two or three times. He found out yesterday he got over 700!!!) ANYWAY, one book used was running a reasonable $30. But then the teacher announced that he wanted to use it. People started looking for it, and the used price ran up to $600, with new at over $1,000 (!!!) He says he's simply going to get by without it! (Oh, and they're working on a new edition, so it can't be resold!)
Jackie in my state anyway .we get a rebate from our taxes for college tuition up to 2000 per year, check to see if your state does this?
