I am posting this here because I am sooo frustrated, with my DH. My darling little first grader is one of those kids who does not like to read, but he is trying hard, and doing well in my opinion. My DH, however keeps putting extra pressure on him, and thinks that he should be at a higher level. He knows all of the kindergarten sight words, and he can read all of the kindergarten bob books with ease. We use the Time4learning curriculum, and I just started him on clicknread, to help reinforce his lessons. He is making good progress, but whenever DH interferes it sets me back a week, because he is so discouraged. I think the problem is that he keeps comparing my youngest son to my oldest who started reading at 4, (he was just one of those kids who loved to read). Anyway now he keeps asking the kids if they want to go to school. WHAT!, as far as I am concerned they are in school! I am just so upset, I don't think my first grader is behind at all, and I work hard all day, everyday with all my children. My DH, does not even help with the teaching, he just complains. It is so frustrating. Anyway sorry for the long post, needed to vent a bit. Well back to the original question, what reading level should my first grader be on? Should I be doing more, and should I push him harder? I really want to help him try to develop a love of reading.
Your first grader is fine. It's your husband that needs that adjustment. I might explain straight out, but gently, the damage he's doing and tell him to back off and trust you. But part of his worries may be around not seeing progress so throw him a bone. Tell him to back off but have the kids read to him once a week and/or show off the work they've done.
I'm not highly experienced so take this with a grain of salt. It sounds to me like you are doing a great job and he's right where he's supposed to be. He knows the K materiel and he's in first in sept. He doesn't need to be reading chapter books, even though your oldest may have been at 6. I have the same situation with my boys as my oldest taught himself to read at 3 and I'm already preparing that my 2 yo will require me to teach him to read. He'd much rather build with legos than read a story before bed. It's just his personality. It doesn't mean he will be behind. I think we all need to consider our children's strengths and weaknesses and approach learning for each child individually. I mean isn't that the great thing about homeschooling - tailoring education to the child. I know it's hard not to compare. Perhaps it's time for a sit down with DH. What would PS really do for this situation? If he does need remediation how would PS approach it any better than mom. Discussing your kids personality differences would help him see that this is not a matter of teaching, it's a matter of the child's preference. And your concern and attempts to do things differently for him should show your desire to teach him what he knows regardless of the cost. In some ways it's very difficult to do things completely differently from one kid to the next but that is the beauty of HS. Praying you and DH are able to work through this and come to a better understanding of each others concerns and desires.
This! Completely!! My hubby was always asking what we were doing and what not when we first started homeschooling 5 years ago. He was very worried that he wasn't seeing traditional "school" thinks coming home in a backpack. (We brought our oldest home after 1st grade, so he was used to this.) I had to remind him that things worked different homeschooling and that we didn't have to do worksheets every day to learn. He slowly backed off. Now he doesnt' ask to see things, but the littles show him all the time now.
Truer words have never been spoken!!!! Your husband needs to be talked to. I also agree that maybe once a week they should read to him. He also needs to be told that every student is different, and to compare one to another is WRONG WRONG WRONG...that is what schools do....not homeschools. Homeschooling is about letting a child learn at their own pace. It's probably very degrading for your younger son constantly hearing "Well so and so" did this and that. Like he's never good enough. DEFINITELY talk to your husband.
my 2 oldest kids didn't read until they were 7, my 3rd was 6 when he started and currently my 6yo 1st grader doesn't even read sight words. Reading comes naturally between 7 and 9. The kids who read earlier than that are just ready earlier. I was reading at 4, my dh was reading in 1st grade but he was taught at school and the way he was taught made it so hard that he still struggles to read to this day. Don't push your child to read, IT WILL BACKFIRE! Talk to your dh and ask him what he needs to "see" your child doing in order to be happy with the situation. Then tell him to back off and let you teach. btw, fwiw...my kids who were reading at 7 read better than a handful of kids I know that were reading at 4 and 5.
I would be blunt and tell him that you know he just wants the best for your son, but that he's hurting your progress and he needs to back off and address any concerns with you privately in the future.
Thanks for all the replies, I think I just needed to hear, my son is fine, from others who homeschool. I have tried letting my son read to my DH, but when they get to a word they don't know, he makes it so difficult for them they don't want to continue reading. So now reading for DH, is not something that they enjoy doing. Maybe in time! I will continue talking with DH, though, and for now I will just have my little one practice reading to me and grandma. Grandma gives him so much praise when she visits, and she always brings him a new little book to read, for her next visit. I think I will keep doing what I am doing, and working at a pace that is comfortable for my little one. I also agree that from now on any issues he has with their progress should be discussed in private, so that are not made to feel bad. Again thanks for the replies, it really helps to hear from other moms who understand. I feel a little better now.
Dig up some state standards or something to show him what kids are supposed to know by the end of kindergarten. I bet he'll know more than that already, and your dh will back off a bit. Let him know that if he really feels the need to criticize, he should do it in private so the kids don't feel like they're inferior craftsmanship, ya' know?
I read at three, my ds learned in K. My dd could not learn by the methods taught in ps. Translation: they kept pushing until she felt stupid and thought she couldn't learn. And then it spilled and spread to everything else, until at home she could do all sorts of things but at school she froze. She was six, and convinced she would NEVER learn to read. I spent most of last year (our first year completely homeschooling her) trying to undo the damage caused by well meaning people who seriously screwed her up. She is MUCH better, but she still struggles with her own lack of confidence. I agree with everyone else. Your husband needs to back off. Your son is fine. He'd still be fine if he was still learning his letter sounds. He'd still be fine if he was reading Great American Novels. He's little and has plenty of time. FTR- my husband doesn't help either. I like it that way
If having your son read with your husband isn't working...maybe a "family" reading time, where you are strategically sitting with your son and can help - thus demonstrating the best way to help. Children...and husbands...(well okay, all people) tend to learn best by example. Especially after you explain the concepts previous posters have stated - homeschooling is individualized, kids are different (isn't there something your 6 yo is doing that his older sibling couldn't do as well, then or now? not to point out to the kids, but to point out to your dh), and comparing the kids is only going to lead to more problems later (and now).
