My husband tagged my stepmother as his "mother-in-law" on Facebook, which seems very odd to me as she's definitely not my mother. I mean, she's nice and all, but I didn't know her when I was a child. And thank goodness my mother isn't on Facebook, because she'd absolutely flip if she found out about this. There's a lot of bad feeling there, on my mother's part, anyway. So, my question is, is my stepmother considered my husband's mother-in-law? Does he have two mother-in-laws?
My husband considers my step-mother his MIL. But when my real mom was alive - he considered her one also. Only thing worse than one MIL is TWO MIL's! LOL JK!!!! So "technically", the answer is yes....but I'm not sure what true etiquette is.
Doesn't it depend on the person? My wife would gladly introduce my step-dad as her father-in-law. Not to do so would have hurt his feelings - and his feelings (for both of us) counted far more than those of my father. On the other hand, my wife would never refer to my step-mom as her mother-in-law (simply because they never got along and rarely ever met). Believe it or not, I currently have THREE mothers-in-law. Not only did my father-in-law, after his divorce, choose to marry another woman, but so did my mother-in-law (would that be a mother-in-law-in-law?).
That is a tough one. I do not consider my husband's step-dad my father-in-law. He's a wonderful guy and there aren't any bad feelings between anyone. I just always refer to him has dh's step-dad to people who don't know him and by his first name to those who do.
Thank you, everyone! I talked to my husband, basically explaining that there really isn't a clear cut answer, but that when it comes down to brass tacks, I'm just a bit uncomfortable with this considering the somewhat fraught and complicated history of my family. So he decided in the interests of fairness that he wouldn't be related to anyone on Facebook. He IS a bit of a an all-or-nothing kind of guy. Although, I really do like step-mother-in-law, and I wish there'd be a Facebook option for that! In my mind, she'll always be my husband's step-mother-in-law from now on (and my stepmother, of course!).
My mom passed away a year and a half ago. Dad has a lady-friend. She's very nice, and I honestly think my mom would approve. I don't know how serious they are, but if he decided to marry her, I think both DH and I would consider her Dad's wife. I would have a difficult time refering to her as my step-mom, since we're both adults. On the other hand, my step-son's baby girl is MY grandchild, not my "step" grandchild, even though his birth mom is alive and in the picture.
My husbands late step-father is the one who was there for him, he was Poppa Dickie to my children, he loved me like a daughter, so he was my FIL. My MIL's new man friend, however, is not, nor will ever be, considered my FIL. Not in my mind, anyway. You have to earn that spot, and this man has not earned it. So it all depends on the relationship and if it will cause hard feelings.
Hmm, good question. I think I would respond that my step-mom is my husband's step-mother in law. My mom is his MIL. And should my FIL remarry I would never consider his new wife my MIL either. But on the other hand my step-brother is my brother, my half sisters are my sisters, and we actually call our step-mom our 2nd mom or bonus mom. But we like our step-mom so that's all good. Any past stepfathers though were just my mom's husband. So we're fickle in this family. eta: in relation to my children my step-mom is Grammy Jen and my mom is just Grammy. I don't think my kids really comprehend the divorce and remarriage thing yet though I know one day they will. It's really hard to explain why some people are related to me when the kids get into a "Who's so and so's mommy or daddy?" etc. phase.
My children consider my step-sons their brothers, too. Rachael will sometimes explain that they're "really" half-brothers. I honestly consider the boys my step-sons, rather than sons, but I think I mentioned that the one's little girl I consider "my" grandchild. I believe they're planning on referring to me as "Gramma Jackie" (since she'll have three g'ma's, and two living great grandmas!)
Wow! what a blessed kid! In our family, we have so many "steps" and "halves" and such! I was adopted at birth, and just about 12 years ago I found my birthfamily. I have 3 half-sibs and we had another half-sib - mom had 5 kids altogether, but only got to raise 3. We've lost two brothers now, one we never met, and one mom raised. My sister and brother both have "steps", and my dh is "step" to my daughter, and we adopted our ds. NONE of us use those words "step" or "half" anything! They just get in the way! OTOH, my dad remarried, and his "steps" were all grown with grandkids of their own by that time. We didn't get along as well with them, and have little to do with each other even though we all live in this same little town, especially since dad and their mom are both gone now. No animosity, just not that close family feeling, and we just don't cross each other's paths very often, y'know?
