All my homeschool friends are busy with their families right now and I can't talk to DH about this because I don't want my kids to overhear, so you guys get to be my sounding board. My mom tries to be supportive of our homeschooling and in her way, I guess she is. She just doesn't get it that it's not school at home. As many times as I've explained it to her and showed her pictures, etc of stuff we've done, she still thinks that we all sit at the dining room table from 9-3 everyday and "do school", or that's what we "should" be doing in her mind anyway. She's made comments before about our homeschool group that between playdates, parties, field trips, and co-op classes, she doesn't see how most of them after do any "real" school. Here's our homeschool group schedule- *we meet Wednesday afternoons from 1-3 for our playdate. The kids play on the playground or in the gym with other kids ages 3-15. Sometimes they play basketball or some other organized playground game, sometimes they bring board games or toys, or just play on the playground equipment. After that, another family and ours goes to the local food bank where we volunteer for an hour or so. Then, we usually go to the library or run errands before we go to dinner and church. *On Thursday afternoons from 2-3 we have a co-op class that changes monthly. This month, it was sign language. Next month it will be Genealogy for the older kids and Chinese culture for the younger. After class, we usually pick up a few things from the store and then come home and finish up our book work. *Most months, we have some sort of themed party depending on the holiday that falls within that month. *We do a field trip every 2-3 months. Anyway, I guess I forgot to tell her about our class on Thursday (I know I told her, but she blocks out what she doesn't want to hear...). She called this afternoon to check on the kids because the flu is going around. Anyway, she asked if we have stayed home today. I told her no, that we had gone to the co-op class and she acted like she hadn't ever heard of such a thing. I explained to her the classes again, and she said, "Hmmm...well, I guess that's okay..."and just left it hanging because we both knew what she was thinking. Grrrrr! I can't stand when people make direct negative comments, but I absolutely HATE it when people just leave it hanging like that. Just tell me what you want to say because we both know you're thinking it anyway. I can't talk about it when the kids are around because DS7 one time chimed in when she was saying something about schoolwork, "What, do you think we don't do any work or something?" So I know he's overheard me. And no matter how much she makes me crazy sometimes, my kids love their grandma and I don't want to do anything to get in the way of that.
(((hugs))) Pass her the bean dip girlfriend! My mom wasn't very supportive of homeschooling, after all, why would you want to spend 24/7 with your kids? She really didn't get any of my parenting choices since they weren't hers. "Why on earth breastfeed, formula and bottles free you up to leave the kid with a sitter, and dads can help then, too.". Ummm, maybe because it's better for baby and me and why would I want to leave baby and dad does help out... not like the losers that fathered my siblings. "Why on earth when there is Huggies would you choose to cloth diaper?". Ummm, because it's cheaper, better for the environment, and I really like doing it. I no longer have a relationship with her, I haven't seen her in almost 3 years now. My kids weren't good enough, they were boys and she "just don't like boys, girls are much more fun" if she couldn't accept my 3 boys she can't share the joys of my 1girl either. My life is so much more relaxed now, there is more to the story but I'll leave it right here. If her only flaw is the thoughts on homeschooling, then definitely, pass her the bean dip and move on to the next topic.
My mom was my greatest fan, but my mil.... At least she realized it wasn't her decision, and kept (mostly) quiet! Then one day, about three years ago, out of the blue she said, "You know, it's probably a good thing you homeschool, because Faythe really needs the one-on-one!" And my mouth hit the floor!!! So hang in there! Your mom loves your kids, they love her, and you can trust her to be around them. She'll come around!
Oh my mother.... well that's a long story that requires a lot of wine to go with it However - it apparently became "the in thing" to have a child homeschooling their children and all of a sudden it was good AND she now gives us a check every year to help pay for it. That's right - a friend of hers had a daughter who was also homeschooling and THAT made it ok for me to do it!! Now she "brags" that I homeschool. <sigh> However - she also "tests" my kids which got so bad they don't want to hang out with her anymore. Ok there are now other reasons but that was the thing that set my kids off. We just roll our eyes and let it go. My DH says I need to stand up to her and I just ask "WHY?" I shouldn't have to.... plus it would require a lot of energy
My mom and my mother-in-law have always been supportative, probably due to the fact that my oldest learned to read at 3 years old. I agree that your mom will most likely come around too.
I think my family is all "on the fence" when it comes to homeschooling.. They don't say anything, but they also know WHY we do it.. WELL MIL did say that she thought they needed to be with kids their own age.. (((SHAKING MY HEAD HERE))) AND ROLLING MY EYES.. LOL. We have had other family members try to homeschool and give up within a few months.. It's HARD!!! But I would much rather deal with my kids 24/7 than send them to a school that cares NOTHING about their education or them for that matter.. Only about attendance and passing the test.. We are a split household.. 2 are in public school and 2 are home.. It's MUCH more relaxed at home.. I'm constantly on edge because of attendance and grades with the other two.. We are actually getting letters about truency for ds16 missing THREE days of school this year.. One day was the last 2 classes and we sent a DR note back.. Anywhoo, With my homeschool kiddos we learn at their pace.. So if we need to spend a couple of weeks on a math concept to get it down then we do.. No rushing through a book and teaching to "the test" here.. Or worrying about being in a classroom a certain amount of days every year.. I just might keep these two home from here on out.. I don't give a CRAP what anyone else thinks.. Brainwashed into believeing the "system" works is all that is about.. And NO, my kids do NOT have to go to school to be socialized.. That annoys me beyond belief when I hear that.. GRRRR!
So, she was over here this afternoon for dd9's birthday. Like I said, she never comes out and says anything directly, just implies and let's it hang in the air... First, I have a board where I write which day of school we're on-mostly so DD14 and I stay on the same page about where we're at in the lesson plans and also it gives us some motivation to see a light at the end of the tunnel as we get closer to the end. Right now, we're on day 72. She looked at it and said, "wasn't it on day 72 the last time we were here?" (which was almost a month ago! ) I said, "No..." "Oh, well how many do you have to get to?" "180" "Oh, so ya'll are behind again this year..." "No, we didn't start our year until mid-September, the PS started in early August..." "Hmmm..." Later, when dd9 opened her birthday cards, my mom kept asking her "who's that one from...". DD9 is shy and doesn't like to read aloud in front of a group so she was reading silently. My mom is convinced that she can't read (which I assure you isn't true). The signatures were all written in cursive, which she is just now starting to learn, but that doesn't matter to my mom. I do love my mom. We have always had a tough relationship but since my dad passed away, I'm really trying to let stuff go. But some days....it's so hard not to tell her what I think, if you know what I mean. Thanks for letting me blow off steam. You guys keep me sane! (ish)
Honestly it would be at the point with me that I would sit my mom down and flat out tell her that her comments aren't helpful. But I'm also newly pregnant and kinda witchy and impatient at the moment so take that with a grain of salt. I have a lot more patience for my mom's ridiculousness when I'm not pregnant or pms'ing - which for me never has to do with school but other facets of life like how clean the house is - but when I'm pregnant I don't have the patience for any of that ridiculousness. :lol:
Oh yeah, it's not just homeschool. That's just the thing that's bugging me right now. She picks at other things too but I just blow it off. She also made some remark about me not going outside to take pictures of the kids on the trampoline (I asked dd12 to take some pictures for me since she was outside, which she loves to do unless I ask me too...) She always thinks I never go out and play with my kids-but that's because when other adults are around I choose to be with adults, KWIM...Whatever, I know what I do when she's not around. Also, it's not just me. She picks at everything anyone does, just not to their face.She's always telling me how so-and-so should do this or how the church should do that, or that she liked it better when...It's just the way she is...
I exploded at my mil once, when she bought both dss 5 lbs. of candy EACH for Easter!!! She wrote it off to me being hormonal, as I had just recently had a miscarriage. I let her think that!
OH yeah that would not have been pretty. Honestly I tend to just hide the candy away, my kids never would've seen most of it ever again. Thankfully my mom has been pretty indulgent when we wanted to do non candy things in the easter eggs last year. My one sister thought it was stupid but it was two against one and we had 8 kids to her 2. :lol: I can't imagine who would think it would be appropriate to gift 5lbs of candy to a child.
My family was the best and the worse support for me. they encouraged home schooling when the kids were young but as soon as they hit JR HIgh ages they were sabotaging by telling my kids they should be out to school cause of missing all the dances etc. My kids did okay in Jr High, one went out for High School cause of family dabblings and I wish today that it had not been so I at least prayed and know it was God's will for that one, who knows what a difference another year would have made? I found that I would load up home school stuff when we took family trips to see relatives just so my kids could show off the work they could do to bombard them with the perfectness of home schooling for my children... yeah, dont do that! lol
