I am thinking of home schooling my 6 year old son because I feel the local public school is behind the curve and in talking to other parents is seems like I could get him to learn more with a focused home school program. I have been lurking on the forums and got good information, but my main concern is that although he would get (in my opionion) a better education at home, I am worried that socially he would be missing some very important development and a chance to interact with friends. Anyone have some experience with this issue?
Hello there, Welcome to the board! Unsocialized homeschoolers is the biggest myth associated with hs'ers. Don't worry, I had the SAME question when starting out. There are support groups that are filled with other hs'ers where they can either get together and do co-op classes, or weekly p.e. times, or even simply field trips. That on top of other sports, clubs (like girls/boy scouts, 4H, etc), and lessons (such as art, music, karate, etc) give your child PLENTY of time around other kids and foster good quality relationships. It is a little bit of an extra effort on your part to make sure that they have time for these things, but it's well worth it. I'm including a link that has many articles to read through regarding socialization: http://homeschooling.about.com/od/socialization/Socialization_How_to_deal_with_it.htm Again, welcome and feel free to ask any questions! We're always glad to help out!
Don't be afraid to approach other moms to arrange get togethers for your child and theirs. We've been hsing 4 years now, and this issue still bothers me. I just do what I can to get her together with other kids,but with everyone busy it gets tough sometimes.
Actually my children probably have more quality friends now than before we began homeschooling...even if they don't have the same quantity as before (we moved when we began homeschooling so they couldn't care over any of the neighbor kids as friends really except thru e-mail, etc.) We've been homeschooling for about 20 months now. The kids have a weekly co-op day (2 hours each Tuesday) with other homeschoolers for some fun (yet educational classes). They attend AWANA on Wed nights at church, sunday school, play church league soccer, my girls are in Girl Scouts, and they've all taken swimming lessons, etc. We have attended a homeschool park day on and off and they all have a good number of friends. My oldest uses e-mail and the phone to keep in touch with all her friends (old and new). My middle has a penpal that she corresponds with...a homeschooler from this forum. My son probably has the fewest friends but that's mostly her personality and he still has a few close buddies that come over to play, etc. Honestly, unless you just keep your son at home 24/7, he's going to have time to be social with other kids and adults and will probably do it better than some other kids his age because he can interact with them at other times than a few hours after school and on the weekends. And, really, "socializing" with 30 other 6 years olds that you don't know (or know their parents) isn't always the kids of socialing that we want for our kids. My kids have all attended a Dept of Defense school (great one btw) but I still know they didn't always learn the best things from such a wonderful school. Best advice is to hit your local library and read lots of books about homeschooling. No one does it exactly the same and you can make it as structured or unstructured as you want...it doesn't have to be "school at home" or it can be exactly that....whatever is best from your family! Best wishes!
We had a good laugh in line on Friday over this issue! My ds was having fun 'entertaining' teh crowds waiting in line with jokes, and even a little can can Haha! Anyway, he kept talking about many things.. I spoke up and said "Sorry folks.. unsocialised homeschooler here!" At this I finally got some conversation, good comfortable conversation from the person in front of us. Nice young gal. Anyway, my kids have homeschooled all the way through, my ds has the least number of friends but he knows how to make friends wherever he goes. He is my most out going of the three too, so he is my best discription of how socialisation is a myth. We go to church, that is a big plus for us cause we have many different , diverse groups at our church from recovering adicts to all thier life christian types. We have people who come to our church just to get fed physically on sunday afternon too, and that is okay... the kids present at our church is one avenue for friends and social times include gym jams, parties, friends over on weekends, occasionally after school time too. Second we belong to a homeschool group, which I joined mostly to belong to something for the kids to say was thiers. Where they had friends to talk and say "My friend Julie told me this really funny joke... " to their church friends. We also join sports teams throughout the seasns they are available here. This gives us another aspect of socialisation, we get to learn about challenges from team mates that we are not good enough, or encoruagement from other players that we are 'the best pitcher on the team', which encourages them to try harder. They also see things in the other kids they both are glad they don't have to go through, as well as that they wish they had done. I think through my life I can see things I wish I had , and wish I hadn't had and I went to public schools so it is wherever your kids are. I think my kids are really well rounded kids, the most shy is dd, but then I was too. She had her years of miss popular and I have no doubt that next year when she does go out for her senior year, that she will know when t talk and when to be quiet in class. Don't sweat it, just make sure your child has a friend or two that can come over, or he can go to thier house to play after school, r on weekends, one or two good friends is more important than a whole class of kids you dont really know cause you only see them in class.
Ok, let's see.... 1) Youth Group for my older two 2) AWANAS (with my 14yo being a "leader" in the kindergarten class) 3) Playing soccer for the oldest and youngest, with the oldest also reffing at the Rec Center 4) Art classes at the rec center for the middle one 5) Street hockey classes at the rec center for the yougest 6) Homeschool co-op once a week 7) 4-H (OK, we quit this year, but we WERE doing it!!!) With all that stuff going on, when do my kids EVER get to "socialize"? LOL!!! Yes, you are asking a fair question, but as the others have told you, the majority of hs'ers are VERY social individuals.
My son is liking the lack of socialization the best. He really doesn't like crowds. Now he can choose one friend to have over every so often. We have also noticed that at about 2 hours he is "done". He attends band at the middle school and dh arranged it so he could stay for lunch too. He does not stay for the 'recess' though (his choice) because there is nothing to do. Most of the kids, until they got to high school, were friends with the kids of our friends. So they were not at the same school anyway. My kids haven't made real friends at thier activities...but they seem to have enough.
For me, it's all about the type of socialization you want for your child - "quantity" is NOT something I have found to be a problem. That is, we have no lack of opportunities for my children to socialize. We live in a bedroom community that has no public transit and we only have one car which my DH takes to work most days. In spite of that, my kids: have Sunday School (once a week) homeschool co-op type class (once a week) Wednesday night church activities (once a week) tae kwan do (once a week - beginning in Jan) playtime with homeschooled neighbors (once a week) play time with private schooled neighbor child (about twice a month) Library activity day (like a story time; once or twice a week, depending) Homeschool swim, once a month I try to only commit to activities to which we can walk or bike - the homeschool swim requires our car, so DH makes other arrangements (works from home or carpools) those days. When a homeschool network has a park day we can walk to, we attend. That's only every few months. You can see how if we had a car, we could easily become over extended. Now, they aren't with other children (other than each other - their siblings, that it) during the day, but that's okay. They can focus on structured and unstructured learning. I don't know about you, but I was public schooled and cannot possibly count how many times I was told, "You are not here to socialize!"
I think there's a big difference between seeing other kids at classes and seeing them to just play and hang out. I wish Jeannie had more chances for just unstructured playtime with kids her own age. Luckily, most of her classes are relaxed and the kids can talk among themselves as they do what they need to do.
My kids do Sunday School/church on Sundays, karate on Tues/Thurs, AWANA on Wednesdays, and our homeschool group has a play date on Fridays. Plus, we have field trips and special craft days with our homeschool group. It does take effort on a homeschooling parent's part to do the socialization aspect of things, but as everyone above has shown, there are generally ways of getting your child out there and around others. You might check around your area. Unless you're very rural, you'll probably be surprised at how many things are offered for homeschoolers to get together.
I am having a issue with this because there are not many girls at the moment for my daughter. Most of her friends have transferred and with the base closing there are not many new families moving in. I am now havingto find more outside of the neighborhood. I do have her in quite a few activies thru the parks and rec and the church but it be nice to have that one friend that could come over when ever and vis versa. We just haven't found that yet and it's been 3 months since we been back. Another thing it seems that mostfamilies rather meet during the day while the dad is gone and it's not easy for me because it means I will have grouchy preschoolers who need to rest. I put up with it so she can have a playdate but it be nice to visit at the end of the day instead of always during the day. As for my preschoolers, there are endless of preschoolers around for them and I have two that come regulary over.
I do hear you on that, Becky! A friend of mine just happened to be at a park one day when our co-op had a field trip across the street. After the field trip, the kids were at the park playing. My friend said it was the first time she had ever seen Rachael with a group of kids her own age just playing and having fun! Whenever this friend was around, Rachael would be the oldest, "taking care" of the younger kids.
I thought joining a hs group would remedy the situation for us, but it hasn't. We've been on trips with the group and Jeannie sees them at library programs and things like that, but that's it. We joined right when they were ending their park days, so there's no just getting together.
No,....meaning I have no experience with my child missing important social developments because she is homeschooled. I am curious: What kind of things would you expect your son to miss in his social development? Actually, I think it is rather amazing to see how a child blooms and develops a sense of self without peer pressure. I used to be concerned about this issue. I have a highly social--I mean, she is a real people person--7yo only child. It concerned me that she needed to play with children more, so I tried two homeschool groups in the last two years and both times the Lord shut that door for us and I am content knowing it is just not where we are supposed to be right now. More importantly, I have come to believe that whatever the Lord wants my daughter to experience will come to her and that He will answer my prayers for her. For instance, I have been praying before she was born that she would learn to ride, as horses were a big part of my mother's family. We have no way of owning a horse right now and lessons are too costly for us right now. I had no idea if or how the Lord would provide, but I felt a strong pull to go to a local arts and craft show a couple of months ago--our church had a booth and I practically dragged my husband to it. They had a horse ride there also. My daughter rode for the first time and she seated well, like she was born to it. I wish my grandfather could have seen her! This ride was sponsored by the local 4H Horse and Pony Club. I did not even know there was one, let alone that it meets only five minutes from my house and that the experienced teenagers give riding lessons to other club members for only $15 for an hour and that one of the adults allows the children to come to her ranch every day after 4:30 to work with her full size and miniature horses. My daughter could go every week and get really familiar with the horses and learn how to work with them, care for them, handle the tack, etc. We also take part in a Chess Club for homeschoolers at a local park once and month. We go to church, but it is really small and does not have activities for children at this time. She also plays with some neighboring children, all who go to public school. During the winter, we try to go to the skating rink once or twice a month. In the summer, we go to parks. Yet, we also only have one vehicle so...when my husband flies to work out of town (usually more weeks that he works from home) I have the van between trips to the airport, of course. It is a joke around there that I either have my man or my van. Now I don't get concerned about socialization at all. I just trust the Lord to provide what my daughter needs socially and in our homeschool, and it works out beautifully. In fact, I was just complimented last week by a former high school principal, a member of our church, on how well I have raised her to be considerate of other people while also being confident and very outgoing. To be honest, that is just the way she is and mostly all I do is remind her now and then how the other person might feel in certain situations. She is naturally empathetic most of the time.
My kids are homeschooled and TOO socialized! LOL!!! Feels like I'm always running here there and everywhere! It is a misnomer....read the articles!
I know in my area there aren't a lot of things for hmsing families. So, since we go through a charter school we take advantage of the classes they offer there. They take Spanish, Pottery and Hands on Science. My 14 yr old dd also take a writing and constitution class that is mandatory to pass the 8th grade. They also play basketball for a small league that runs from January until March, both my girls have raced bmx bikes and my oldest is going to start up again. I think it's a matter of what you can find in your community. For us, we have to drive almost 2 hours for the nearest "local" track for my kids to race. But they enjoy it, I just wish we could get down there often enough to make it worth their while.
What is socialization to you? This is a good question to ask. Socialization is so much more than just public school and friends to me. It is learning to be social in the real world. Being enclosed in a gated school, with peers that are the same age, is not the real world in my opinion. The real world is learning to deal with people of all ages, in all places, and with people of all races. I also believe there are different types of socialization skills to be taught and learned. My daughter can hang with drug addicts and she will still learn to socialize but in a negetive way. This is why I do not place so much emphasis on socialization and the school system. I do not care for the type of socialization they have to offer. Two of my daughters graduated from public school. We homeschool our youngest. My daughter is almost 11 and has far better social skills than our older two had at this age. Ems has some dear friends and some friends she plays with every now and them. She has friends in organized settings as well as unorganized settings. She also has friends who are elderly because she is envolved with the elderly. She has learned a lot from them. LOL :angel:
No problems here. My youngest is making friends at Sunday school and dance class. She is only 5 so really classes and birthday parties, plus playing with neighbor kids is all she really needs at this point. My oldest is 12 and has many really great, sweet friends. In the four years at public school she never met one friend that she saw outside of school except for 2nd grade when she invited her class to our house for a party. Now we've homeschooled for 3 years and all her friends she met either at church or dance. She gets together with them all outside of class. We are in the burbs of Houston and even though all her friends go to different schools (both public and private) all spread out they still get together for parties, sleepovers, movies, shopping, summer camps and weekend trips with each others families. She is at dance 12 hours a week with most of her friends and they socialize plenty! I think the key is finding what your child enjoys, getting them involved and becoming friends with their friends families. If you all like each other (kids and adults alike) and you share a common bond (like the love of dance for my child) great friendships will be formed and kept.
Oh and I just thought of something. Why do a lot of homeschooler feel like they should only socialize with other homeschoolers? I mean there are many families that educate their kids in many different ways. So why do some people soley seek out homeschooling families? Just curious.
I never thought of it that way. We just naturally gravitated towards a friend and her family. I went to school with her. Our kids went to ps together until the point we both decided to home school without talking to each other about it. And our dh's are similar in so many ways that when we're together we have a total blast. My kids friends from ps are on a different schedule so when my kids are in school usually they are off. But I try to make my kids available to their friends whenever I'm asked. And I think in our case, we gravitated to the other home schooling family because we are just so alike in life styles. That's a darn good question though, one I'll be asking myself a lot.
