long rant...am I depriving my kids?

In our home, we do not bring in sodas, chips or candies. Period. We do not have cable. My children do not go trick-or-treating either.

But before you think that I'm trying to raise modern-day Oliver Twists, let me elaborate:
We do enjoy ice cream and cookies and cakes etc once in a while. They are allowed to watch movies on netflix and dvds etc...we have the entire Justice League collection, for example, and while we dont go trick-or-treating, I do buy them the costumes which they use for dress up play all year long.

Reason I'm posting this? My friend berated me quite a bit yesterday, telling me that my children were not going to grow up well-adjusted, and as adults would blame me for depriving them of the fun things in life.
"And to top everything off," she said, "you're homeschooling them! How do you think they will turn out?"
She told me that while she was sure my children would be smart and get good educations, they would be "weird".

I dont get it. So if your kids dont watch tv, they will be socially inept? If they are not dying to go to DisneyWorld, but rather are content to go hiking with mom and dad, that means they are "weird"? If they dont own iphones and sit on facebook half of the day, that means they are missing out on life?

I dont have anything against the way other people raise their kids. This is just my philosophy, but it really hurt me yesterday when she implied that my kids are living terrible lives as it is, and to make it worse, horror of horrors, I'm homeschooling!

Thanks for reading!

 

First off, she doesn't sound like much of a friend.

Second, isn't the point of all this that your kids WILL be weird? I mean, if you wanted them to be just like everyone else in society, wouldn't you let them eat all the unhealthy garbage they want, watch endless hours of TV, and send them to public school?

Yes, you're kids will be "weird." That's the idea. You are raising children who have their priorities in order, will live healthy lifestyles, and be educated in a manner that will give them all the advantages their "peers" will not have.

Well done, mom.

 

You are raising your children to enjoy life! I have no tv, I limit sweets, I don't give my children every new thing that comes around.

There is more to living than just the newest phone, tv watching and expensive vacations... you are teaching your children that life is enjoying family, and the little things.

 

My children are still "wierd"........ and I love them.

However, we have plenty of TV, chips, candy and trick or treating.

The values you instil in your children shouldn't make them wierd, a little off the norm, but aren't all families a little odd if you think about it. ........ I mean we think all of our neighbors are "wierd".........

 

I say raise them how you feel is best, and if they aren't cookie cutter kids, all the better. We do have satellite tv, we eat too much junkfood, and my 9-yr-old family got an ipod Touch for Christmas. We like those things, and don't feel bad about it. You shouldn't either. If your friend brings it up again, tell her that when you want her opinion you'll ask. Sounds like she maybe feels more self-conscious about her own decisions and is lashing out. If all else fails, tell her you don't WANT your kids to be like hers... you want them to be better.

 

That was supposed to say finally, not family. (He had been wanting one for 2 years.) LOL

 

Wow... Not much of a friend.. Sounds like a toxic judgmental type friendship.. Raise your kids according to what YOU think is best not what everyone else thinks... Shame on your "friend"..

 

Why does this make you, or your children weird? Because they'll grow up to be well adjusted healthy adults who don't need the vile programming to rule their lives and all that they do?

Each parent has their own idea of what is or isn't their style of parenting and that's ok. If others don't like it, guess what? They don't have to because it doesn't affect their children. If it affects the welfare of the child then call child protection, otherwise people should butt out

Don't feel bad because of someone's opinion. You're doing what you feel is the best thing for your children and that's a decision only you and your husband can make... ultimately it doesn't affect their supper plate so it shouldn't bare any weight.

Keep up the awesome job !! :wink:

 

Tell her, "Thanks for the compliment! If you noticed then I must be doing something right."

OR

Tell her, "I will give this one for free. The next will cost our friendship. Loving advice is one thing, harsh criticism is another."

...and even if you are raising modern-day Oliver Twists, they are your modern-day Olivers Twists, not hers.

 

I agree with the other posts above. You are raising your children the way you feel is best, and as long as they are healthy and happy, that is all that really matters.
I do not buy soda or junk food for my daughter, and I do not allow her to watch endless amount of tv.
I think either your "friend" does not respect you as a parent, or is insecure about her own parenting. Many times the negative comments from people come from their own self doubt more then what others are doing.
Don't let her mean spirited words make doubt your parenting style.

 

lol, they arwe my oliver twists
Thanks ladies

She's never brought this up before, but I dont know what got into her yesterday. She apologized profusely afterwards, though, saying that she shouldnt be telling me how to raise my own chlildren.

 

My sil can't understand how we can get along without a tv service. Handsome told her that we spend more time as a family or we can watch a DVD.

We use to hook up our cable over the holidays because I love Christmas movies. Then it would be disconnected after the holidays. This past year, actually the year before, Handsome kept it hooked so he could watch basketball. This past Christmas we didn't connect it at all and really enjoyed the extra time outdoors. It was cold but we bundled up.

 

Weird is underrated. The normal in today's society is not something I will ever strive to attain. It is not something I want for my children either.

 

Did you know that "weird" can mean "fantastic"? See here.

I told my husband some years ago now that our daughter would be weird and he resisted that terminology. I then went down the list of things that make us unique and different from the mainstream. He then agreed that weird can a good thing. Weird child=fantastic child. I think Jesus as a child would have been very weird!

You cannot change your friend's perspective of what is weird, but you can change your perspective of what that means to you...and then smile saying "thank you!"

 

I've seen "normal". I'm sooooo glad my kids are weird. I agree with the smiling and saying thank you. The proof will be in the pudding....when her kids grow up and hate being around her because they were never around her enough, and your children can't wait to come visit you and spend time with you.

Your so-called friend needs to be told off. Oh, wait, that's not very loving.

 

You don't need to change your children, but maybe you should change your friends. Keep being weird and you will fit in with the rest of us. Emily (who is our youngest and 13years old) went back to public school this year after five years of homeschooling and she says she has new friends, but her best friends are her family.
Have I mentioned lately that I LOVE that kid?!

 

Agreed.

 

LOL!
Not to mention that is "normal"! She wants to retain weird status. :lol:

 

That word "weird" is exactly why my family left a church a few years ago. Our pastor didn't approve of us homeschooling and made the comment that we are raising our kids to be socially inept and weird. All the while in the back of my head I was naming all her granddaughters that were pregnant and not married in the back of my head. I'll stick to "weird" as my wake-up call to leave a church we weren't growing in.

I think your doing a fantastic job of raising your children. I feel sorry for your friend she has given in to the cookie cutter style of raising children and that is sad. Poor thing doesn't know that "weird" is the new "in".

 

Apparantly after reading the posts here. Weird people are many in number which means we must be some sort of normal lol And frankly I don't think no tv is a bad thing. I grew up until I was 11 with no tv only occassional movies at the theatre. And I wasn't deprived. If anything it gave me the freedom to explore my world unhindered with other peoples ideas. TV is a bit of an imagination robber. How many story lines have been recycled on various shows. And as to food. Some of my fondest memories of food aren't of the candy but of the more lovingly prepared meals by my mother and the company we shared over those meals. I think some people are just scared of what they don't understand. Those normal folks who live like sheep in society are missing out on some of lifes most precious joys. So don't fret. You aren't alone in your wierdness.