Hi just looking for confirmation that I am about to do the right thing.... background to the tale is such that my dd aged 6 has always shown signs of being very gregarious, very lively, has a very natural ear for music and accents - doing them at pre-3 perfectly....very extrovert, but also very shy when challenged. Doesn't sleep too well but will then just flake out exhausted, picky eater in the sense of eats like a sparrow one day eats like a horse another...likes extremes of flavour and things like anchovies, strong cheese....not normal for little children....she is rough when playing but doesnot seem to have the same idea about social situations - as other children - once or twice not being center of attention is normal but with her it is all the time. She has to be in control of everything and that includes all play with her friends.... At 2 she did the terrible twos thing....at 3 she followed the norm there too being troublesome 3, had a moderately relaxed absolutely loverly 3 weeks at being 4.:lol: then back to being a monster child. Between then and now, her behavior has deteriorated, to the point where I am verging on not taking us as a family to places because of her behavior as I find her embarrassing. It doesn't matter what sanctions I put in place it doesn't bother her - its a shrug of the shoulders and on to something else....she (if she wants to she will make a game from a piece of fluff) just doesn't care about anything or anybody. That is until someone gets hurt then she is very helpful and kind...but otherwise she is a monster.....(in a nice sense don't get me wrong I do love her and the way she is...) I am just finding her "life" very challenging and my friend is convinced she has a sensory processing disorder having watched her grow up and knows her, and things I tell her. Unfortunately looking for help from the medical profession - doctor and H/Visitor both have dismissed her behavior as normal....to the point that the H/V phoned someone about getting her an assessment and she said they said she didn't need one.... Yet oddly everything I read points to the fact we need help and no one is giving it - my feeling is that they have been told that they have to lessen the referrals as there is no money left - the alternative they gave me was to put me on anitdepressents/anxiety meds to calm me then I would be able to deal with her. I have to say when I compare her to my other children and others she is not the same and its that little bit that you can't put your finger on. So finally, my point being - should I toast/roast or otherwise grill the H/V and say by the very nature of our conversation she has made an unqualified diagnosis....find out what was actually said. I don't really care who said what - what I want is an assessment and if there is nothing there then it won't have to go any further.....what is the harm in them doing the assessment? Am I barking up the wrong tree or should I push hard. I know its only a snippet of her daily life and doesn't really give a full impression but as her mum I am fairly certain my friend is right and the more I read the more I am convinced my friend is right - even my DH who is fairly noncommittal says welllllll.....in that "well there is something to be said in what you say" type of way. All comments will be very much appreciated. Thanks for letting me vent - just getting a bit frustrated as I'm not sure what to do with her and we're just getting frustrated all round.
SeekingSanity, Amazingly I am at the exact same place right now with my 4yo grandson. I can't advise you, because I don't know what to do myself. If you feel at the end of your rope, I think I'd push it. Tell them what you said here. Or even pay for the assessment yourself and circumvent the insurance. I posted in another thread that I found a lot of help by watching some of the Super Nanny episodes. They really did help me and things have been better here. Consistency is always right, and as we get more and more flustered the consistency seems to flag, when in fact, we should be MORE consistent. If you have the time, her episodes are available online and are good. In the meantime, I hope you get some results! God Bless {{{HUGS}}}
Sorry to hear you're in the same boat - it is very frustrating :roll: Unfortunately going independent is not an option for us right now - and my husband goes on about paying his taxes....lalala... I try to be as consistent as I can but like you say it is hard when they insist on being difficult and it is incredibly wearing. Well I've poked the H/V - so we shall see what she has to say for herself. Thanks for your support SS
My daughters are both mildly autistic, and your description of your daughter rang a lot of bells. I highly recommend reading "The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder" by Carol Kranowitz. It is highly regarded, and although it was not perfectly applicable to my girls, it gave me some great tools to use with them. I've recommended it to some other friends, too, and they found it helpful. (Gee, I sound like a commercial! LOL) Here's the Amazon link. If nothing else, if you find some similarities to your daughter in the book, maybe you can show it to your H/V and doctor so they can see what specifically you are concerned about.
I'll second this. Ds is also autistic and I saw red flags with a lot of what you describe. I might suggest you do some research online about the Autism Spectrum. :love: Marty
