A few months back I was called and asked if I would like a job in the nursery at church. This was back in February when hubby was still working and was NOT wanting me to get a job. I talked to him about it and then accepted it. $300 extra a month was a big help and REALLY is a big help now especially.. Forgot to say that that money goes to my Compassion International kids. We don't use it for my family. Problem is I NEVER GET TO GO TO CHURCH!!!! I am completely cut off from my church family.. Anytime something is going on at church, I'm in the nursery WORKING!! Our church is small and we have about 10 kids all together for sunday services. Wednesday there's about 4. There are usually only 2 kids in the 3 year old class that I have. I am not the main teacher, I am the helper and fill in for the teacher when she is out. I do run the extended session time and have a helper that comes in for that. SOOOOO. I got a call from the youth pastor who is at camp with most of the youth (3 Kids) asking if I could PLEASE fill in for him with the kids that didn't go to camp. He couldn't find anyone, I guess they are all on vacation. I accepted since the regular pre-k teacher was not put down to be out tomorrow then I sent a text to the lady over the nursery. She told me that she got a text from the regular teacher right before mine came through stating that she would be out and that I HAD to be there. I'm really annoyed because I don't feel like I can even SERVE at my church. I'm WORKING in the nursery and I miss ladies bible study every Wednesday and Ladies Sunday School, AND Sunday services. I'm NOT getting fed and not getting to be with my church family. AND I'm not being allowed to serve because it interferes with WORK in the nursery. I was going to help decorate for VBS and ended up getting pulled into the nursery to decorate there. Granted, I DID get paid but I didn't WANT TO BE PAID! I wanted to SERVE.. (((sigh))) I'm thinking about giving my notice tomorrow. I'm missing going to church with my family. My husband had even stopped going, but started going again but he sits by himself. I do NOT like it! The one thing that's making me second guess my decision is that we NEED the money right now with hubby's health/job situation. Opinions please. I have already told her how I feel about being disconnected from my church family. When hubby lost his job I asked her if I could please go to Bible study the next night and she told me only if another one of the workers showed up. No "sorry" or "praying for you". Nothing. I just want to be part of my church family. I don't know what's going on AT ALL! I don't know if we have new people.
I don't know what I would do in you position. I do think you need to be fed and I am not sure you are getting the support you need. It sounds like they need to have more people as back up workers. I know money is an issue but it sounds like you need to be sitting in there with your husband right now so you both can gather strength from the services. Praying for you.
My instinct...is that you will probably be judged harshly if you are not taking every opportunity given for paid work. That said, maybe there is some middle ground where you can attend service once a month? Your concerns are legit...you'd like to feel connected when you most need support. Sometimes setting priorities sucks. Sometimes we don't have the luxury of having the time for volunteer work...even when our hearts are there. Often...we have to sacrifice what we want in favor of what we need. While we do NEED spiritual fellowship....it doesn't keep the kids fed and the medication paid for...in the way that extra income does. If your church has ever (or will ever in the future) help to support hubby's medical bills, etc.....you really need to prioritize work. (just my opinion) And maybe I'm WAY off base how it would be seen at your church. But at my church? I know tongues would be wagging if you quit your job and complained about or requested prayers about money. Praying for you all, and hoping you find a workable resolution.
We don't EVER ask for money and only a few people know when there is a need. We do that because of what happened at our last church. That money that I get from the nursery is KNOWN to go to my compassion International Kids (forgot to mention that). It did start out to be used as help for our family, but we didn't really "need" it. And yes, $300 would help greatly right now, but it's not going to do much. The church NEVER will be asked for anything after what we dealt with at our last church. NEVER EVER anything aside from prayer. And if I feel that getting fed and supporting my family to hang onto our faith during this difficulty is what I need, they can wag their tongues all they want.. I need GOD more than I need money. I NEED the support and prayers of my church family MORE than I need money.. I need to be with my church family to worship more than I need money.. I just feel like this "job" is stunting my growth in Christ right now. I'm going to pray about it and see what happens. I ended up working it out to where I could fill in for that class so that makes me feel a ton better. EVERYONE that "works" in the nursery feels the same way I do. closed off from the church.. I think that we need to start a ladies bible study class on a day that church is not going on and nursery Is closed.. It's really hard to connect when you are there before everyone else gets there and then you are in the rooms with the littles and don't leave until everyone else has left. I do LOVE it, but I totally miss worshipping with my church family. Crazymom, that is NOT the way true Christians would treat someone in a difficult situation. Exactly why I'm not at my former church. Left that worldly, judgmental, frame of mind back with the people of CBC.. BTW we didn't even ask our former church for help.. They just did it even after we said NO and then threw it in our faces.. NEVER EVER AGAIN will we be put in that position.
If you're not taking any financial help from the congregation, they have no right to judge you whatever you do. Nor should they, regardless....that would certainly NOT be my feelings toward someone in your position, but it is what I've witnessed, sadly. If you feel you need fellowship and connection more than the money, that's very legitimate. It most definitely is a time you need to be with your husband more and pray together. I mentioned the money issue...because I remember you saying that your church had once paid your husband's medical bills...didn't realize it was a different church. I don't blame you a bit for avoiding that situation in the future. It would be nice if people gave with an open hand and followed the example of Christ....but they can be so nasty when money is involved. A VERY dear friend of mine is currently a minister's wife. She tells a lot of stories about feeling judged by folks in the congregation no matter what they have...used, new or otherwise....because someone always feels abused by her husband drawing a wage from the church. It doesn't matter that he works 60+ hours a week taking care of people....someone always feels their second hand car is too extravagant. No matter how carefully they've saved for college and how hard their kids have worked for aid, their kids going to a good school is particularly upsetting to some and seen as an extravagance the church is funding. It's really sad. Ministers can't win. My mother didn't run into these issues as much. Because my father worked, she was able to accept a position that paid very little. Apparently a female Pastor is less troubling when she's being paid peanuts. As much as I'd like to follow in Mom's footsteps, this is precisely the reason I have hesitated to become a minister.
Our nursery worker is feeling something similar. She feels left out of things, missing stuff. We have a very small church, and not many "littles". So she goes to the nursery and waits. If anybody shows up with littles, she's there. If not, she waits in case anybody is late. Then if nobody shows up, she'll go into the church service, probably after the sermon has started. There used to be a speaker in the nursery, so she could hear the announcements and the singing, but it's broken. She's asked and asked for it to be fixed, but apparently no one thinks it's a high priority. She goes to Sunday School, if there's no one needing Nursery, and goes to Bible study mid-week, but still feels like she's excluded from "the church". It doesn't help any that our church is sort of "clique-ish" -- they'll deny it and truly believe they are not, but they are. She needed the money when she took the job, but not so much now, and she's thinking of quitting the job in order to be IN church.
"The harvest is plenty, laborers are few...." We have a group of (several) people who work in our nurseries (we have 2 age group nurseries - birth to 2 and 3's-4's) on a rotating basis and each of them has a youth with them. A "schedule" is made up several weeks in advance and I don't believe they serve more than once a month. When something comes up that someone needs to be replaced int he nursery (when they know in advance), I believe they find their own replacement. The main nursery has speakers in it so they can hear the service as well - I'm not sure about the second one (it was an addition not too long ago because of the growing number of children using the nursery). Fellowship and teaching is as important to your walk with Christ as serving Him. If this is a common "complaint" of many, perhaps making a 'schedule' of when you can be in there might be part of the solution allowing everyone time to be in the service but also serving God through this ministry. Praying that God will give you very clear direction on how this should be addressed - that He will make a way for everyone.
I feel sorta bad because I found out this morning that the lady in charge of the nursery is facing some major health issues as is her husband. She is putting her care off until her husband is taken care of, but her issues are very bad and she is scared. She clocked me in this morning even though I was not in the nursery and allowed me to stay with other ladies in the nursery since I didn't have any littles (for the first time EVER). We cried and laughed and I felt SO much better afterwards. I think that the support I have in there is amazing. I'm getting to know the ladies and I LOVE them..
