First, let me say that I've never be so unsure of anything in my life. I've finally gotten my dh onboard with the hs'ing idea. I sat down to talk to my dd about it and guess what??? Yep, she wants to keep going to school. She is 6, almost 7 and will be in first grade next year. Our reason for wanting to hs her is because of the lack of consistency in teaching at the school and the fact that she is so far behind, with no real sign of catching up under the schools teaching. That being said, she's an only child. So, school is her primary social outlet. However, on the same token, not all of her "social experiences" there, have been positive. How much merit would you give your child's wishes in this situation? I know she wants to go be with the other kids. She's an active child and wants to be on the go. Academically, she needs the one on one hs can provide. However, I almost feel like I'm depriving her from her wishes to be in the school setting. What would you do?
At 6, I'd go with YOUR gut. Once you get started and she sees how much fun you can have doing different things that don't (or can't) happen in a school day, she'll more than likely be glad she's home......as long as you give her opportunities outside of home to be "social" with her friends through church, scouts, whatever. My kids didn't necessary want to homeschool when we moved 14 months ago but they're fine with it now. Fortunately, they don't "miss" the schools here because they've never attended here in VA. They do miss their old school in KY but they understand the school down the road is NOT their old school. I'm sure others have been in similar circumstances and will chime in soon. You might play up the opportunities available to homeschoolers than pub school kids don't get.....sometimes younger kids don't think about all the extra "play time" they can have (not to mention museums, field trips, etc depending upon where you live). Ultimately, its your decision (and your DH). We didn't really give our kids a choice. I talked to them of course but they knew that it was up to Mommy & Daddy and that we had researched the schooling options here and homeschooling was best. Hope that helps.
Her wish to stay with her friends and go on at school are common and understandable. I am sure you are sensitive to the fact this will be a big change. However, it is your decision and it sounds like you have really thought this out. So, you will need to be proactive in getting her involved in your local homeschool group(s). You will have to take the initiative and set-up play dates with these new friends or invite them along on filedtrips, etc. If there are friends from school that she would like to stay in touch with and you approve of, then you must make an effort to have them over from time to time. Is there something she loves - gymnastics, horses, art... She can now spend more time doing those things if she is homeschooled. That is a big thing around here; the time to pursue their own interests. While she may be behind, and honestly I am not sure a Kindergartener can be behind at this age they all develop at such a different pace, please do not spend all day everyday on school. You will both be burnt out in three months. Learn to incorporate teaching moments throughout your day and throw in lots and lots of fun learning experiences. I know you are fearful since she did not jump right on the bandwagon, but I have seen it even with teens that they soon realize how super homeschooling is and embrace it.
Is it possible for your DD to go to school for specials? When I pulled DD out last school year she went back for gym and art. Neither DD or DS are going for specials this year (and they missed it) but have asked to next year. They will go for art and music. The kids can see their friends but not be exposed to all the garbage that goes with the other "social" aspects of school.
I am not sure if she would be able to go to specials or not. Here, specials are only 20 minutes long, so it really wouldn't give her much time. I wouldn't be hesitant at all if she had a sibling to play with, but I know that the winter's are bad here and getting anyone out of their house is a struggle. Not to mention, the gas prices this summer. I would do it because of our situation, but I'm not sure how many others will be getting together this summer. It's such a tough decision. .....
Your dd has not researched homeschooling, so is just going by what she knows. Homeschooling is an unknown to her, so she's afraid of what it is like. At her age, I doubt she's thought it all through, she just feels more comfortable doing what she's used to. Based on that, you can certainly listen to and address her concerns, but YOU make the decision, NOT her! You are older, have done research, really want this for her, and you KNOW that this will be good for her! There are PLENTY of outlets available for socialization! Find local homeschool groups, put her in gymnastics or swimming or art or other classes at the Y or somewhere in town. Take her on fieldtrips, keep her active. She can do it, and you can do it! It's very natural to be concerned when starting something new! I think both of you will feel better once you're into it for awhile!
I understand a 6 year old wanting to stay with friends at school. BUT I woud not let a 6 year old make that decision. I'd go with my gut and what I felt was best.
If I allowed my kids to make all the decisions I would have neon green walls, a slide instead of stairs and ice cream for dinner every night. You are the parent and you KNOW what is best for her. If she knew at six she would have been hatched out of an egg instead of born. LOL. I say all the above in the most lighthearted tone. lol. You do what is best. Our kids will not always like our decisions. They do not understand the big picture as we do. Don't allow this to change your mind if you are sure homeschooling is best. There are co-op programs and plenty of other social outlets she can be involved in. Also, if she is active homeschooling may be the best bet anyway.
I understand what you are saying, but I think you are not seeing the bigger picture when making the comparison to your daughter fitting in and being influenced by any and all public school children at the age of seven and to her being socialized naturally as a gentle preparation for adulthood through her family with people and families you know or interest-oriented activities, which is really what we do all our lives outside of and far beyond public school anyway. I have also felt those pangs, because I have also an only child, who just turned 7yo, and she is a people person. She just loves people and children and babies. We are on a strict budge and currently have only one car, which I get once a week for errands and piano lessons. I suppose my daughter will most definitely lack society's concept of "socialization" provided through the public school system, but I don't see any areas where she lacks social skills. What I see is that she is sure of who she is without concerns about how school children define her status in their society. Plus, she has time to think, daydream, play, etc. on her own and I don't see that as a negative thing. She loves to write and draw and play piano all on her own. As I see it, children need some time alone to develop their imaginations, too.
Sometimes my younger DS asks to go back to school. I just tell him that homeschooling is the decision Dad and I have made for our family. School isn't an option for us at this time. I agree that at this young age, it has to be our decision. Usually when DS says he wants to go back to school, it's because he is being asked to do something that he doesn't really want to do. And he only went for preschool, so it was mainly playtime that he recalls, and of course he's going to miss that over doing a phonics lesson with Mom! I could write all day about the socialization issue, but I think that even if you're somewhat housebound in the wintertime, as long as there are other opportunities for her to get with other kids during the year, it's not going to be a problem at all.
We've talked about this concern before. Sometimes it's like I said earlier--it's what they're used to, so that's what they THINK they want to do. Other possibilities are: She wants to ride the bus to school, or have a lunch box, or get a back pack, or have some new clothes.... All those things can be remedied easily enough by taking her on a city bus, getting her a lunch box, back pack or new clothes. Have a NOT Back to School Party when the others go back! Ask Jennifer Erix about that, she's in a group that does that, and I think it's a great idea!
Do you know what my 10 year old misses about her old Dept of Defense school in KY??.......a yearbook :shock::shock: Guess what we're having a co-op next year.....you betcha....a yearbook. If that's the only thing she misses, I'll fix that!!! (Helps that I'm a newly elected steering committee member). She misses her friends but they're 12 hours away (or more...many have moved to the next Army post) so I can't do anything about that. This year, we went to the Children's Museum of VA on the day the local pub school kids went to school. It was AWESOME. A friend and her daughter went with us and we had the place to ourselves except for like 3 preschoolers. Imagine a 2 story kids museum for less than 7 kids (including the preschoolers). Never had to wait for anything. We'll do it again next year too. We go to other area museums but the children's one is always the most crowded so that's why we picked that one for that day. We're also going to Busch Gardens or Water Country on the day after Memorial Day. VA school kids are still in session and it's hard for field trips that day because teachers have to have a day to remind parents of the field trip.......yippee!!! No long lines (as long as its not storming of course). When my oldest gets "antsy" about "will I always be homeschooled".......I try to gently remind her of all the things she now loves about homeschooling and why as long as we live where we do that she will not go to school. Sadly, it only takes a look at the evening news....weapons, knives, etc in the local schools we're zoned for middle/high school (all the same day here recently).....not to mention, the academics are lacking too. The pros definitely outweigh the cons for us right now.
We here are still dealing with the no friends issue- 3 years after starting hsing. This is the worst part of homeschooling, in my opinion.
Sorry that I have been MIA since my post. My MIL was in the hospital and I've been busy beyond belief. Not to mention, fighting with the school system. Thank you everyone for all of the encouraging words. I know what the right thing to do it for her long term and have already began thinking of summer activities. She goes to a Sensory Center twice a month now (that's all we can afford), so she gets to socialize there. We go to church, so there are children in her Sunday school and I am debating between signing her up for dance or karate to help build strength, coordination and self esteem. I figure this along with playdates and hopefully, keeping in touch with a few friends she does have will be enough for her. Ever since I told voiced my concerns to the school, they got mad and said they "can't seem to get her to do any work".... Hmmm... I'm guessing they aren't trying real hard. It's so sad when people take out their anger on children.
